10 Tips To Feel Super-Confident In Girl On Top Sex Positions

Many men report that their favorite sex position is girl on top. We’ve previously recommended this position because it’s good for G-spot stimulation. But girl on top is one that makes many of our readers feel self-conscious. If you want to know how you can feel more confident and get more out of girl on top sex, this is the one post you have to read!

Top view of passionate young lovers having sex

When you’re feeling nervous about girl on top, remember these things.

1. Every Woman Doubts Herself

Remember that the anxiety you feel about being on top, stripping out of your clothes or even being that vulnerable with another person is universal for women. You might look at another woman whom you think is prettier, thinner, taller, curvier and so on & so forth and think she has no issues with her own body or skills, but you’d be dead wrong! In fact, many men share those same insecurities!

Perhaps that’s why so many people experience sexual anxiety, especially before their first time or the first time engaging in sexual activities with a new partner. If you feel your partner is out of your league, those insecurities may only be highlighted even more. Fortunately, we’ve got the definitive guide to getting over your sexual anxieties. And we’ve got great advice targeted toward feeling more sexually confident, especially when it comes to a girl on top position.

2. Love Your Body

Start hacking away at those insecurities by doing little things to boost your confidence in your looks and abilities, even if it’s not directly related to sex. Because so many of these insecurities relate to body image, do things to make yourself feel attractive. Go shopping and buy some new makeup, shoes or clothing. Perhaps a sexy pair of heels you can leave on when you’re riding him?

Exercise, but not because there’s only one acceptable body type. The endorphins feel great, and you’ll be reminded of your body’s power. If you’re worried about not being strong enough for girl on top positions, you can strengthen your arms and legs. Eat well because it helps you to feel better.

Stop by a lingerie store to buy something specific to wear during sexy times and when your man requests a girl on top position. This article has plenty of advice for buying the right pieces to flatter your body. Top the bag off with a bow and even give it to him as a surprise!

One thing you might consider is boudoir photography. Hire a reputable photographer to take sensual photos of you in various states of undress. Not only does this make a great gift for your man, but you’ll likely get a boost in confidence and have fun while you do it. The women of Bustle all discovered this when they tried boudoir photography – complete with professorial styling – for the first time!

You can shoot your own sexy photos or record yourself having sex, too. It’s cheaper on the budget, and you won’t have to strip in front of a stranger.

Don’t just cover up your natural body and self, however. Take some time to look in the mirror, but make sure your gaze isn’t harsh. Look at yourself the way a stranger – an appreciative one, at that – might look at you. Run your hands across your body. Perhaps masturbate and revel in everything your body is capable of – giving and receiving pleasure, conceiving life, feeding and comforting your children, swimming or playing sports. The list goes on.

Yours is a real body, and the only one you’ve got, so you should appreciate it. We know your man does! Remember that celebrities, even the ones you admire, have similar body issues. Almost all the images you see of them in magazines have been altered. Clothing is pinned. Makeup is professional. Professional lighting was set up. Images and video were edited to perfection.

In fact, some of the women considered the sexiest by society don’t even recognize themselves after all that processing! That’s because an entire beauty and fitness industry exists around making us feel not good enough!

Furthermore, you needn’t compare yourself to women who have professional trainers and makeup artists. Spend more time looking at real woman. Think of marketing campaigns by companies like Dove and Lane Bryant. Pay attention to other women at the gym or in church. They’re tall and short, curvy and thin and far more varied than any TV show cast. Chances are, you’ll feel better after remembering what women, including yourself, really look like.

While everyone worries about their lumps, bumps, scars, cellulite and other quirks, curvy and heavier women are especially worried when it comes to being on top of their man during sex. Rest assured that no matter how thin your man is, you will never crush or break him. Besides, you can rest more of your weight on your legs and thighs straddling him than you do his body.

3. Know Your Worth

There’s no reason to stop at your body, however. You’ve got a personality and a mind, and your body is only a vessel. Your skills and talents are uniquely yours. There’s no one else like you, and that’s why your man chose you. Whenever you need a confidence boost, remind yourself of what you do right and what only you can do. You’ll be creating a list of positives that you can tap into any time you experience a negative thought.

Give yourself a pep talk in the mirror before you enter the bedroom. You’re gorgeous and sexy. You’re smart and capable. You’re the best you anyone can be!

4. Feel the Power

Let’s get down to how to feel more confident sexually. Perhaps it’s your first time with a new partner or you want to surprise him with some new moves. It’s understandable that girl on top can be nerve wracking! You might consider a glass of wine to take the edge off those nerves, but that’s completely up to you.

Being on top might feed into your desire to dominate your man. If you’d like, try scratching or biting his chest while you’re on top to help fulfill that sexual fantasy. Try out a few role play scenarios where you have power.

Another way you can dominate your man – there are many more ideas in this post – is with a blindfold. If your major cause of sexual anxiety when you straddle your man is how you look, you can cover his eyes. Then, you won’t have to worry about what it might look like. These sort of light BDSM elements aren’t for everyone, even though they can be quite fun. Discover how to experience BDSM and the fun it offers.

Remember, too, that your man has his own insecurities, and he’s most likely focusing on them with the same attention you dedicate to your own flaws. Now, if you’re thinking “That’s crazy! My man is totally hot, and I love him!” then you’ve just hit on the very same thoughts your man likely has when he’s having sex with you!

The very things that you might see as flaws, he might see as character, setting you apart from every other woman. He may be attracted to other women – we’re all attracted to all sorts of people – and he may have been with other women, but he’s choosing to be with you right now. This is important to keep in mind to feel secure both when it comes to sex and girl on top position and when it comes to your relationship in general.

5. Act the Part

Confidence is one thing that everyone finds sexy, so acting confident, even if you’re not feeling it 100%, will only encourage your man’s animal side. It’ll also make it easier to talk to guys you like.

If you’re having a little trouble acting the part, emulate how a confident woman (Scarlett Johansson, anyone?) whom you find sexy would act. Perhaps craft an alter ego for yourself and get into that head space when it’s time for woman on top sex. Would your Sasha Fierce be intimidated by a sex position? Doubtful!

6. Please Yourself First

You should also focus on your own pleasure. When you’re on top, it’s time to get yours. You know your partner is going to get off, but you can rub your your clitoris or grind it against his knuckles if he wraps his fingers around the base of his penis like Spock’s “Live Long and Prosper” motion. In short, focus on what it feels like and not what it looks like.

If you’re having trouble feeling sexy about yourself when it comes to girl on top position, think about how the situation can be sexy. For example, when you’re on top, you get more control of depth, angle and speed. This means you’re more likely to get the stimulation you need to orgasm. And we can just about guarantee your man finds your pleasure sexy as can be!

7. Atmosphere Matters

If you’re not into blindfolds, you can just dim the lights or toss a colored scarf over a lamp. Not only does this create a nice ambiance, but this can help to cut harsh glares from your light source that may not be flattering. You might remember an episode of Seinfeld in which Jerry dates a woman who looks stunning in some light but absolutely horrid in others. Although the plot was ridiculously exaggerated, there’s a bit of truth in it. A softer, natural bulb is more flattering than harsh fluorescent light.

Another thing to try is sexy music. Check out this post and this list for song suggestions. Music adds to the atmosphere, and the right song can make you feel like a sexy rock star. Having something to listen to can also make you feel better about positions such as cowgirl because there’s more stimulus in the room for your man to focus on. You can always take it further and perform a slow strip tease to a song before pushing your man back on the bed and having your way with him!

8. Ground Yourself

Any time you feel yourself slipping out of he moment and heading back to the place where you overthink, ground yourself. Pick out the things you can hear, see, taste, touch and smell. Breathe slowly and imagine those breaths moving throughout your body like energy. Visualize exchanging that energy with your partner. It’s a surefire way to get back in touch with your pleasure and the moment. Plus, you’re that much closer to Tantric sex. More on that here.

9. Practice the Skills

Not everything is about body image, however. You might have some hangups about your skills as a sexual partner. Remember that sexual skills aren’t innate. They’re learned. And they’re practiced. Those skills certainly don’t have to look anything like they do in porn, either. Sure, it might look good when a porn starlet bounces on her partner’s dick like crazy, but does it really feel good for either of them?

There are a couple options when it comes to technique. You can place your feet flat on the bed or surface beneath you and push or bounce up and down, but that’s pretty strenuous (and boring, if you ask us). A better option is to rock your hips forward and back. This movement emulates thrusting in a gentler way, which may help alleviate pain due to a sensitive cervix, which is more likely around the time of your period.

Next, try side to side movements. Perhaps you’ll find this is good for your G-spot. See how you like it when you rotate your hips in a circle, and pay attention to your man’s response, too! You might like forward-and-back movements better when you’re facing your man in regular cowgirl. For reserve cowgirl, you might prefer a different movement because of the angle. Read our posts here and here to get more specifics about technique.

You don’t have to do all the work, either. He can still thrust from underneath you. You can also try lying down on him to give your body a rest. The perk of altering girl on top positions like this is that you can hide your tummy if it’s your problem area.

10. Don’t Give Up

Feeling confident during sex in any woman on top position is a journey. For some women, it takes less time than it does for others. You might make great strides and find yourself stepping back a few paces. This is common, for example, after a woman has found out her partner has cheated on her.

You might fight several battles of self confidence a day, and it’s likely to be difficult at first. After all, judging yourself harshly is a habit you’ve honed!

So practice being bold, confident and kind to yourself. Smile and jump on the bull – or man! – like you were born to do it. You know the old saying about how you have to fake it until you make it? Confidence is one of the areas where that is true, and it’s especially true with confidence in the bedroom!

Practice makes perfect in this as in all things. Or it might be better to say that practicing loving yourself and having confidence will show you that perfection is neither obtainable nor desirable. You’re fantastic the way you are, and your partners should agree! If there’s a man who doesn’t, you don’t need to waste your time on him.


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