It’s inevitable. The longer you’re with someone, the more you fall into a routine and take one another for granted, especially if you’ve been married for years and have kids! You can start to feel like you’re drifting apart or missing each other, even if you’re sitting in the same room. Maybe you talk at each other rather than with each other, and you start missing the person he was when you first got together. You may even miss the person you used to be, too!

Couple cooking in modern kitchen

While this is common, it doesn’t have to be the death knell for your relationship. You can breathe life back into it – and often with less effort than you think. Simply follow the advice in this post to spice up your relationship!

Although the advice we offer in this post enables you to take control to spice up your relationship, but you should remember that keeping things exciting is a responsibility you both share. Feel free to encourage your man to suggest activities that can bring the two of you close together, flame your spark and remind you why you fell in love in the first place.

If you’re struggling with dropping hints, you can have conversations where you ask if there’s anything he’d like to try, inside or out of the bedroom, to get him thinking. Perhaps lead the discussion by talking about things you’d like to try or even things you used to do together, especially any times that you loved when your man surprised you. Mention something you saw on TV, read in this post or heard friends were doing.

Even if it doesn’t swing him into action, it will get your gears spinning, and it won’t be hard to figure something to spice up your relationship. If you’re having a little trouble, here are 11 ways to add a little excitement back into your relationship.


Work, the house, kids, volunteering and family obligations are just a few of the things that might occupy your time and brain during the day. You might want nothing more than to head home, put on sweats and indulge yourself with a TV dinner while bingeing on Netflix. However, you’re not proactively working on your relationship – even if you’re sitting right next to your partner.

So hire a babysitter, let the dishes sit for a night and don’t be afraid to miss an episode of your show. Instead, go on a date with your man. Head out to your favorite restaurant or even the place you first met. Make it into a scavenger hunt, go rock climbing or paint balling if you prefer something a little more active. Head to the carnival or a theme park and ride a roller coaster. The adrenaline rush will make you feel closer! This post has plenty of date ideas.


Take a weekend away – an extended weekend will especially be helpful – for you and your man to spend together. Look for a hotel or even a bed and breakfast that offers a couples package with a massage and wine. There’s probably someplace special within driving distance that still gets you out of your own home and bedroom.

Perhaps pick a weekend in fall when the leaves will be turning color so even your drive will seem more romantic. Plan a playlist full of romantic songs or music you know your man enjoys. Even if you just pick a weekend at a local hotel, you can relax in the pool or hot tub, order room service and spend more time canoodling than you have in a while!


Perhaps you’ve always wanted to learn to cook, shoot, rock climb, or dance. If you’re in a big city, you might also have access to couple’s classes that involve sex and sensuality to spice up your relationship. Clear some time in your schedule and sign the two of you up for a fun class.

Learning something new, especially if it’s new to both of you, can leave you vulnerable in a good way. It may have been some time since the two of you have made time to be with one another or have been vulnerable. You may be surprised at how much you learn about each other as you’re learning something new. Plus, you can continue to use those skills to bond at home or improve your relationship.


Sports are great because they keep you active, introduce you to new people and encourage competition. It doesn’t have to be a serious sport, either. Consider taking up bowling or joining a softball league at work. You can have fun learning how to play golf or even just mini golf if you prefer! If you want something more casual, head to the gym and enjoy some one-on-one on the basketball court, race each other through through the pool and finish up in the sauna!


One way of spicing up your relationship is to make sure you have enough socialization with other people. Going on a double date gives you time to catch up with friends, talk about things besides you own jobs, kids and responsibilities and enjoy an activity and get away from the stress of it all. If you’re looking for double date ideas, we’ve got you covered with this list.


Although you can certainly have a lot of fun on the town or even taking a trip, don’t forget that you can connect with your man and spice up your relationship inside your own four walls. To ensure this works, you have to turn down all the distractions, so make sure the kids are somewhere else. Perhaps swap babysitting nights with a couple friends, allowing both couples to enjoy a date night once a week.

Turn off the TV, make a nice candlelit dinner and don’t rush through it. Talk to one another about your day, make eye contact and give in to the romantic mood. After dinner, you can enjoy dessert and your favorite activities at home, which may mean cuddling up in front of a movie, putting together a puzzle or even playing a video game together!


If you’re the type of couple who usually keeps sexy times to the bedroom, then talking about it during the rest of the day can really kick things up a notch. Send your man a message telling him that you’re thinking about him. Reminisce about something you’ve done in the past. Detail your fantasies or ideas for the future.

When you’re both thinking about each other during the day, you won’t be able to get your hands on each other soon enough at night! Sexting can serve as mental foreplay. More here. Send a sexy picture if you want. If that seems a little out of your comfort zone, you can simply give a hint of what’s to come by playing with angles or cropping out your face.

Alternatively, simply slipping a love note into his work gear or leaving it on the table for him to find when he get home can be enough to make him feel butterflies in his stomach again – and to remind him that he still makes your heart pitter-patter! Choose what feels right for you and your relationship.


If you come home from running errands with a new sex toy or bondage accouterments, you can spice up your relationship. There are two ways you can go about this.

  1. Buy something you’re interested with to gauge his interest in it and completely surprise him. Try a cock ring or some cuffs! There’s always a chance he won’t be into it, however.
  2. Ask a few leading questions or talk about your fantasies before your purchase and come home with something that he’s more likely to enjoy.

Either way, the element of surprise can really spice up a relationship. Considering buying some lingerie that flatters your body.


Whether you wear some of that new lingerie or don a sexy little black dress and heels, your man is sure to appreciate it. Perhaps let him know that your next date night requires something more formal than you usually do or simply surprise him by showing up looking your best. Use the advice in this article to dress sexily and make his jaw drop!


A surefire sign of a relationship gone stagnant is always having sex in the same way. Perhaps he initiates, you quickly undress, have sex in missionary positions for ten to fifteen minutes, and then you’re back to taking care of home and hearth. Simply adding a new position or two to your repertoire can make a big difference. Plus, you might find a position that works better for clitoral or G-spot stimulation.


We’re big fans of BDSM at the Bad Girls Bible, and light bondage is a great way to get into it. Keeping things light with furry or nylon cuffs and maybe a blindfold to enhance your experience. Check out this guide to light bondage. We’ve also got posts about BDSM games and S&M here and here, respectively.

Of course, spicing things up in the bedroom can improve your relationship, but it might not be enough if you’re having trouble connecting on a more basic level. That’s why many of the ideas on this list don’t involve sex at all!

Once you think about how to spice up your relationship, you might be surprised at how many activities exist that you’ve never tried. Chances are, you’ll also wind up doing something together that you used to love but has fallen by the wayside because of your current responsibilities. Reconnecting with each other can also help you reconnect with other interests while also spicing up your relationship!

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