No one likes those awkward silences during a dinner date or a late-night phone call. If that’s happened to you one too many times, we have a solution: Have some prearranged topics up your sleeve whenever you feel the conversation start to wane.
Having a few prearranged topics to talk about with a guy can help immensely if you’re nervous or unsure of what to say to him in the moment.
Here are 9 topics that you can bring up with a guy to make conversation with him and why they work!
1. HOW SCHOOL OR WORK IS GOING
Both work and school can lead to a great conversation. However, you don’t have to ask the typical “How was your day?” Instead, ask him about the best thing that happened all day. This exercise will get him thinking in a positive way, which is great for your date. Check out more dating advice. It also helps to steer away from the stressful situations we can run into with other people.
Furthermore, don’t be afraid to ask him about the weirdest thing about his job or education. Taxi drivers and police officers are just two jobs that have a lot of interesting experiences with the general public, and nobody minds a funny conversation!
2. VACATION PLANS AND MEMORIES
Don’t just ask him whether he has plans for the upcoming holiday. Try asking him about what his family did as a kid. This gives you more insight into his childhood life. Perhaps his parents were too busy for vacations, and he got into a lot of trouble around the neighborhood with his friends. Segue into future plans by asking how he would plan family vacations or if he even wants a family at all.
This can lead to a lighthearted conversation where the two of you plan the perfect vacation, even if it’s not rooted in reality!
3. THE WEEKEND
If you like this guy enough to see him again, talking about the weekend is one way to make that happen. Tell him that you’re looking forward to doing something local and spontaneous that you’ve never done before, and see what suggestions he’s come up with. Get ready with your own. Try this list of date ideas. Expand your conversations by discussing your craziest weekend!
4. A NEW SHOW ON NETFLIX OR TV
Do you have a favorite TV show? You can ask if he watches it, too. Discussing the latest episode and what you both thought about it can be a great topic to talk about and can be a lot of fun. Speculation on what might happen next week can also provide some good conversational material.
This topic can work even if you don’t have common interests. Go ahead and tell him what you can’t help but binge watch when you have time – and why. He might become a fan, too!
5. LOCAL GOSSIP
You’ve probably been told to avoid gossip because it makes you look petty. But not all gossip is bad – if you do it right. And it’s a great way to have a conversation with someone in your same social circle.
You can find out what each of you have experienced in your social environment by gossiping. It’s also a good way to spread news and keep tabs on how your mutual friends are doing. Just don’t overplay the gossip card. If a guy views you as a huge gossip, he probably won’t trust you not to gossip about him.
6. YOUR WORST DATE
Although it’s usually not a good idea to talk about your last relationship while on a date, it could be a funny topic to talk about when you bring up your worst date ever or ask him about his. You can both probably relate to this topic and have a story to share.
7. A STORY ON THE NEWS
Browse through the news of the day before your date to find a great topic to talk about. If a silence comes up, you can always ask if he heard about whatever it was you just read. If he hasn’t, you can tell him the story. If he has, you can talk together about the event.
For a date, it’s probably better to stick with funny or feature stories as opposed to deaths, crime waves and other depressing topics. Politics can be polarizing, so it’s better to avoid that on early dates as well.
8. OTHERS IN THE ROOM
Take a look at other people in the bar, restaurant or movie theater. Can you guess who’s dating, who are just friends and other details about their lives? Make it into a game where you make up silly details about the people around you without anyone the wiser.
9. SOMETHING YOU LIKE ABOUT HIM
If you’re on a date with him, you must like some qualities about him. Tell him what they are, even if it’s that you like how he looks in that shirt. Who doesn’t like to hear compliments? That’s why it’s crucial to flirting. More on that here. You can also ask these flirty questions.
And if it is the shirt, that topic might lead to where he bought the shirt, which can lead to a conversation about your favorite place to shop.
10. A SURPRISING FACT ABOUT YOU
Let him know something about you that he probably doesn’t know or that might surprise him. Then ask him the same. Once you two share a secret that not everyone knows, it can bring you closer. Turn it into a game by having him guess your secret. Or you can give him two lies and a truth
11. COMMON EXPERIENCES
Any commonalities you share can be the basis of a great conversation. Are you both parents? You can talk about your kids. Do you both love a certain sports team? That’s fun to discuss. You get the idea.
Conversation doesn’t always just flow naturally. That’s why having some good topics to talk about is a great way to keep a conversation going. One topic can also evolve naturally into something else. Start with one of the questions in this post or here, and who knows where the conversation will go?
The key to being a great communicator is to actively listen to his answers instead of thinking about the next topic you might bring up or what you want to say. Also try to keep the conversations light until you’ve been dating a while. Avoid bringing up problems and negative situations. Don’t jump in with these awkward questions.
Note his body language. If his eyes are glazing over or if he’s fidgeting or turning away, switch gears and drop that topic of conversation. Pay attention to your body language too. More on that here.
A little silence is natural and doesn’t have to be awkward. Sometimes you both just need a break to relax, take in your surroundings and to reflect on the date.