Breaking up with someone whom you love is a difficult process. After all, even when you know your relationship is toxic or unhealthy, if you have fallen in love with someone, striking out on your own as a single person can be a scary proposition.
However, in some instances, especially is cases of an unhealthy or abusive relationship, it is necessary for your sanity and your safety to end a relationship. Below is a list of just a few examples of situations where ending a relationship is probably what you need to do for the betterment of your life:
- Your relationship has consumed you and changed you so that you are no longer the same person you once were.
- Your significant other has forced so many “rules” on you that you feel smothered and unable to make even the slightest of decisions on your own.
- He has harmed you or threatened to harm you.
- Your significant other emotionally downgrades you or is unsupportive of various aspects of your life.
If your relationship features any of the above aspects, then you may start feeling that it’s time to bring your relationship to an end. And if you’re looking for tips on how to make a guy incredibly attracted to you, then you may want to have a read of this article here. The following 13 tips on how to fall out of love will help you move on much more easily now that you’ve broken up with your man…
- STOP CHECKING THEIR SOCIAL PROFILES
The ease in which you can look at your soon-to-be ex’s profile makes it really tempting to keep checking up on him. You want to know if he is seeing anyone else, or if he is miserable without you. However, when you keep checking on him, over and over, you will never move on, so it’s best to not go there.
Defriending him is the best thing you can do to make yourself stop checking up on him. You don’t need to know how he is doing or how he is handling things to do with your breakup. Therefore, when attempting to fall out of love, cut out profile surfing completely.
- CONSIDER A CHANGE OF SCENERY
If you have ever wanted to move to a new city or state, but have hesitated for whatever reason, now is your chance. You can move away and begin afresh in a brand new area. This could be a turning point in your life, where you go from merely existing to living life to its fullest. Go ahead and look into what it would take to move, and don’t be afraid to take the chance.
After all, you could thrive in a new city or state, and the process of moving and finding a new place to live will keep you really busy, which will make it easier to stop thinking about “you know who”.
- TRY A NEW HOBBY
When beginning a new hobby, you often become immersed in the process. This is the ideal situation for falling out of love. It will give you a place to go, something to do to keep yourself busy and will probably result in you meeting new people, all of which will help you get over your ex.
Examples of a few great hobbies to try include rock climbing, running, sewing, painting, hiking, etc. Anything you have wanted to try, but didn’t have the courage or the time to attempt, is a great thing to attempt now that you are single.
- STOP ASKING AROUND ABOUT HIM
When falling out of love, you must stop asking about your ex. It is tempting, especially if you live in a small town and know many of the same people, to ask mutual friends about your ex. However, learning the details of how your ex is handling the breakup is not a great way to fall out of love and will only cause you more pain.
For example, if you learn that he’s struggling, you might be tempted to go back to him because you feel responsible for their pain, but if they are living it up, out on the town night after night with a new girl, you will feel hurt and will probably get mad. Therefore, it is best to avoid asking friends and family about him, because you really don’t want to know how he is doing, even though you think you do.
Furthermore, you will likely annoy your friends, family and acquaintances by asking them endless questions about your ex. Not to mention the fact that asking for details about your ex from people who are also his friends could make those individuals uncomfortable. They will likely feel trapped between the two of you and will not know how they should answer you. Therefore, it’s best to just avoid the whole thing and forgo the questions as much as possible.
- STOP “ACCIDENTALLY” ENDING UP WHERE HE IS
If you know your ex’s habits, where he likes to go and when, you can “accidentally” end up in the same place. However, this is not how to fall out of love. To distance yourself from your previous relationship, you must also distance yourself from the places and events where you know your ex will be present.
This can be tricky, especially if you both really like the same bars, restaurants or other venues.
- GIVE YOURSELF A TIME FRAME TO AIM FOR
Giving yourself a time frame in regards to how long you need to go without contact with your ex will help you have success. For example, set a goal of not checking up on your ex or calling or texting him for 30 days…this is the good old no contact rule and it works pretty darn well. You can learn more about it in this guide.
At the end of the 30 day period, you can reevaluate the situation to determine if you want to continue the no contact period. When you feel capable of being around your ex again, without it opening up emotional wounds, you know you are ready.
Giving yourself this time frame, will help you remain strong through the process. For instance, if you have gone two weeks without contacting your ex, but you desperately want to check on him, you can tell yourself, I only have two more weeks and then I can call him, or I only have two more weeks then I will ask about him.
At the end of that two weeks, you might not want to contact him, but knowing that you can will help you wait a bit longer. Falling out of love isn’t easy, but if you give yourself short, attainable goals to strive for, it can make the process less painful.
- GO ON AN ALL GIRL’S VACATION
Going on an “all girl’s vacation” with your best girlfriends is a great way to pass the time and help you get over your ex.
In addition, some of your girlfriends likely have excellent advice on how to fall out of love, which will help you even more. Any vacation will do, but a cruise or a trip to the beach with just your friends is ideal. If a big getaway is not practical with work and all, just do a weekend excursion. Any time in which you just let go and have fun in the company of your close friends is perfect for this difficult period in your life.
- AVOID REMINDERS OF THE RELATIONSHIP, IF POSSIBLE
If you and your ex both live in the same town, work near each other or have the same acquaintances and friends, you will likely be reminded of your past love.
However, when possible, it is best to avoid places that trigger memories of your ex. For example, if you had a favorite restaurant you would frequent or you enjoyed going to a certain bookstore, or had a particular path you would walk through a local park, then it is best for you to avoid these locations, at least for a while, until you heal a bit. In addition, ask your friends and family to cease from talking or asking about your ex.
- EXPAND YOUR CIRCLE, TRY DATING AGAIN
One sure way that will help you fall out of love is moving on in the dating arena. This doesn’t mean you have to get serious with someone right away, but if you expand your circle of peers to include a few new people of the opposite sex, you might find yourself attracted to a new love interest, which will help you as you seek to move on after a breakup.
Just don’t put too much pressure on yourself to find that next “special someone” just have fun and treat these guys as friends and just enjoy each other’s company.
- DON’T CALL OR TEXT HIM
Just as it’s a bad idea to ask around about your ex or “accidentally” run into him, it’s also a bad idea to call him or text him. Once you have ended the relationship, your contact with your ex should cease for the simple reason that it just opens the door again to potential heartbreak and messiness. This means you should avoid texting or calling him to ask him things like how his day went or any other questions.
Falling out of love is a process, but you should stop communication, in any form, with your ex immediately when the relationship ends if you want the process to be as quick and painless as possible.
If your ex frequently calls or texts you, tell him to please stop, and if that doesn’t work, then block his number. It is difficult enough to get over a relationship without having the man you used to love constantly contacting you, so make sure that doesn’t keep happening. You may even have to go so far as to change your cell phone number.
Just do whatever it takes to make all communication between the two of you end.
- GIVE UP ON THE NOTION THAT THEY MAY CHANGE
When you determine there is a reason to end a relationship, it is likely because your ex was not doing something to meet your standards or was harmful in some way. Unfortunately, in life, most people never change. Therefore, you should give up waiting for your ex to change. The fact is, more than likely, how your ex is right now is indicative of how he will be in the future. As a result learning how to fall out of love is necessary, because your ex is not going to change.
- TRANSFORM YOURSELF ON THE INSIDE AND OUT
The end of a relationship is a great time to do some self-growth. Use this time to examine where your life is currently and where you want it to go. Where do you see yourself in five years, what are your long-term goals? Answer these questions honestly, and determine what you want to do with the rest of your life. Examine your motives and your drive and why you do what you do.
Then, try to improve yourself by growing yourself and becoming healthier in both body and spirit.
Falling in love is fun, and is full of sunshine and butterflies and all things beautiful. Unfortunately, falling out of love is not so grand. However, it is sometimes necessary to find the person you are truly meant to be with. After all, why should you settle for someone who doesn’t benefit your life and who brings you down?
To thrive in life you must have a partner who will inspire you and support you, if you don’t, then you need to force yourself to fall out of love, to find that person will will support and inspire you.
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