The elusive “lady in the streets, but a freak in the sheets” is almost every guy’s dream girl, but it’s not always easy to walk the line between good girl and bad girl. You want to be someone he can take home to mom—not just someone he can take home. It’s usually pretty easy to maintain this balance at the beginning of the relationship, but once you get comfortable you might notice your bad girl side start to drift away.
Although it’s good to be a good girl overall, you can add some spice to your relationship by embracing your wild side every once in a while. Here are 15 tips for how to be a bad girl and keep him guessing.
Just because you’re already dating doesn’t mean you can’t still flirt with each other. But it can be difficult to get back into that mode where you’re still trying to figure each other out. If it makes it easier, you can turn your next date night into a game where you both show up to a bar separately and pretend to meet for the first time.
You can see if you have what it takes to win him over a second time and enjoy the scandalous vibe of going home with someone you ”just met.”
2. Be the instigator
Women are constantly told that men should make the first move, but men actually like it when you take charge every once in a while. Instead of waiting for him to lean in and kiss you on the dance floor, go in for the kill when you want to.
Remember that there are multiple levels of move-making, so even if you don’t technically make the first move you can still be the one to bring it up a notch. For example, you can turn your next goodbye kiss into a mini makeout sesh to catch him off guard.
3. Sext him when he least expects it
The best way to get into a playful mood is to make up a game. If you want to ease into dirty texting, start a “guess what color my underwear is” game. The winner gets a picture if they’re correct.
To be even more coy, use SnapChat to make sure he only gets a sneak peak until later. “Sexting” is also a good outlet for running some fantasies by one another, so you can heat things up once you finally get together. For more advice on sexting, you should check out some of the examples I give in this guide on sexy text messages and this one on dirty text messages.
4. Don’t be afraid of PDA
The thought of being watched while getting intimate is a secret fantasy most people have. Part of the reason for this is the extra rush of adrenaline you get from the fear of getting caught or possibly getting in trouble.
A fundamental principle for how to be a bad girl is to take some risks. So, even though it might not be totally appropriate to start making out in the middle of the restaurant or at the park, that’s what gives it that necessary element of “danger.” Plus, he won’t be expecting it at all. Make sure you don’t go overboard with this one though. You can covertly grab his butt while you’re walking together, but it’s probably not a good idea to get x-rated by reaching around the front.
5. Dress provocatively
Maybe not for a weekend with his parents, but if you two have a hot date, dress the part! To boost your confidence and have him drooling, call in the reinforcements: Spanx, your best push-up bra, and those “do me” heels that make your butt look fantastic.
You don’t even have to go out to sexify your style either. What’s wrong with being a bad girl at home? Walk around the house in boy shorts and a loose tee with no bra. Or plan to go for a swim later and walk around in your bikini to guarantee you’ll get his attention.
6. Be independent
There’s nothing sexier than a girl who can hold her own, and, as the age-old proverb goes, we always want what we can’t have. The best way to make him want you is to show him that you don’t need him.
Make sure you always have at least a few parts of your life that are separate from his: your group of friends, a hobby, an interest, etc.
This gives him time to miss you and it also allows you to keep the relationship interesting by sharing your separate experiences with each other and discussing them. For both your sake and your man’s, you need to embrace your individuality and understand your needs and wants to foster a truly happy and healthy relationship.
7. Say what you think
Along the same lines of being independent, being a bad girl means that sometimes you need to just let it all out.
This can range from telling him that you think he’s wrong about politics to telling him what you really want to do to him tonight. It requires courage and boldness to say what you think, which keeps him guessing. Not to mention, it creates a dynamic in which honesty is encouraged, which is the fundamental foundation of any relationship. If you’re honest with him, you can be more sure that he’s honest with you. This means less time worrying and arguing, and more time seeing how bold you two can be 🙂
8. Take control in the bedroom
9. Try something new
10. Play hooky
11. Go to a strip club
The next time you’re out for the night with your man, try topping off the night (or save it for the next time you’re being a bad girl) at a strip club. This can be a tough tactic if you’re the jealous or shy type, but going together will force you both to step out of your comfort zone and experience something new and exciting together.
Find out what turns him on the most and offer him a private show later that night.
12. Take a pole dancing class
If you need a little more help sharpening your stripper skills, pole dancing classes are all the rage right now. But be forewarned: this workout is intense. On the plus side, this means you’ll tone up and look fit faster, which will make you feel even more confident and sexy when it’s time to show off your new talent to your sweetie. You can learn more about stripping in this article here.
13. Get a tattoo and/or piercing
Remember when Sandy from Grease was figuring out how to be a bad girl for Danny and stole his heart with her leather pants and big hoop earrings? This is sort of the same idea for those of us in the 21st century. You can go for the subtler sex appeal of a cartilage piercing, or go naughtier with a piercing in your bellybutton, tongue, or perhaps a more private area.
Or you can get a “for your eyes only” tattoo that will give you a good excuse to take off your clothes later.
14. Dirty dance at the club
A lot of people think of the club as a place for single people only, but it’s a great location for reviving the intimacy of your relationship too. Get dressed up, have a few drinks, and embrace your inner bad girl by dirty dancing to sexy pop and rap songs. By the end of the night, he’ll be begging you to bring your moves to the bedroom.
Throughout your relationship, it’s always good to rediscover how to be a bad girl to keep things interesting, but you want to make sure not to get too caught up in this lifestyle. One of the obvious reasons why you shouldn’t overdo it is that it would no longer be exciting, but actually predictable for you to do outrageous and/or sexy surprises.
But beyond this, the bad girl lifestyle isn’t sustainable if what you’re after is a serious long-term relationship. Being a good girl most of the time can actually make your bad girl moments even hotter, since he’ll feel like the lucky guy that gets to see your wild side that no one else would ever suspect.