Finding Mr. Right isn’t always a straightforward process.
Conditions have to line up well for you to like each other at the same time, to both be single and emotionally available, to have the time to dedicate to the relationship, and so on. That doesn’t mean you can’t help things along, though. Getting a guy to like you results from a number of factors, like making yourself physically appealing, staying laid back, finding common ground, and of course, turning him on.
Keep in mind, though, that even if you manage to get him to like you, this guy may not be the “end all and be all” to your happiness. Remember not to sacrifice the other things you care about in an attempt to attract his attention. As long as you maintain a healthy attitude about pursuing your crush, though, the following tips should be helpful in getting a guy to like you.
1. WORK OUT
When you’re building a plan for how to get a guy to like you, you should put working out at the top of your list. Exercising provides far more benefits than simply slimming you down. It also increases your flexibility, makes your skin glow, gives you confidence and balances body chemistry. These are all traits that your crush will appreciate.
2. START AS FRIENDS
Friendship is the basis of any good relationship. Feeling comfortable with someone, sharing with them, enjoying time together … these are the defining traits of both friendly and romantic relationships, so it can’t hurt to encourage them with your guy. Maintaining a friendship could make it easier to build something more later, so start there.
3. CHOOSE CLOTHES THAT FIT
What’s the point of working out if no one can see your body? When picking outfits, choose clothes that flatter your figure. This doesn’t mean you need to wear a little black dress and heels everywhere you go. It does mean that you shouldn’t let your crush see you in the shapeless sweats and baggy tees you wear at home. Even when going for comfort, choose form-fitting jeans and sweaters that will show you off to best effect.
4. USE BODY LANGUAGE
Getting a guy to like you can be as easy as using the right body language. Hug warmly, sit closely and maintain openness. People who are nervous cross their arms, hug themselves, hunch over and generally make themselves less approachable, so don’t.
5. MODEL YOURSELF AFTER HIM
You can tell a lot about a person just by looking at him. If your guy wears lots of workout clothes, chances are good he likes the gym. Baggy black jeans and beanies probably mean he’s more of a skater guy. Where possible, pick up on his interests and try to incorporate them into your aesthetic too, wearing stretch pants or graphic hoodies as the situation dictates. Don’t be untrue to yourself, but do let him guide you in whatever way is genuine.
6. BOOST HIS EGO
Everyone likes a compliment, and that includes dudes. Just because they’re supposed to be tough and stoic doesn’t mean they’re not worried about how they look or that they don’t want to do well in school or don’t appreciate sounding smart in a conversation. When he makes a good point, dresses well or pulls off a win, congratulate him. Your genuine approval means a lot, and calls his attention to you as a source of good feelings.
7. FLIRT
Flirting is fun and effective, so what’s not to like? Flirting shows your love interest that you’re hoping he’ll be interested too. Use light touches on his arms, shoulders and legs, and lean close for a moment here and there. Don’t overdo it, though; the trick is to tease him into wanting more, not to be so obvious that he has no chance to nicely sidestep.
8. MAKE EYE CONTACT
Eye contact proves your confidence and your interest. If you don’t want to seem shy or, worse, disinterested, make sure you catch his eye every few minutes. Even if you aren’t in conversation together, sneaking glances is a good way to show your intent, so don’t hold back.
9. SHARE SECRETS
One of the best ways to get him to like you is to share a secret. Secrets bind people together, and giving him something fun, spicy or even deep to mull over is a great way to keep him thinking about you even when you aren’t together. Just don’t go overboard when you’re first getting to know each other; your deeply conflicted feelings about your best friend or past sexual experiments aren’t necessarily the best things to start with.
10. DON’T BE TOO SERIOUS
Seriousness has a time and a place, and for the most part, your off hours are not that time and place. When you’re hanging with your crush, cultivate a lighthearted attitude. See the humor in little things, share jokes and don’t spend a lot of time on your problems. Your guy will like you for it.
11. MAKE NICE WITH HIS FRIENDS
If you want to interest someone, you also need to interest their friends. If you can’t get along with them before you start dating, it’s unlikely you’ll be able to afterward. Look for opportunities to spend time with his people, then really get to know them.
- Ask them about themselves.
- meet their significant others.
- learn their interests and find common ground.
The more they like you, the better chance you have of snagging him.
12. STICK AROUND
Think about the radio: how often do you hear a song that’s horrible at first, but after a few weeks, you’re bopping right along? That’s because we find familiarity pleasant and comforting. The more we experience something, the more attracted we are to it, so put yourself on his radar. Steer toward places he’s likely to be and don’t be in a hurry to get going … the more time you can spend together, the more he’s likely to want to be with you.
13. TAKE AN INTEREST IN HIS INTERESTS
Shared interests are a powerful bonding tool, but at the beginning, you’ll need to come his way. He may not yet know you well enough to care about your interests, so you’ll have to focus on his. Get him talking about what he likes, then choose a hobby or two that you can get in on. Whether it’s skiing, paintball or crafting handmade books from first edition covers, show initial enthusiasm, then go home and learn more.
14. SEEK NOVELTY AND EXCITEMENT
Wondering how to get a guy to like you? Novelty and excitement could prove very helpful, because they put you in a happy, open frame of mind. More importantly, they put your crush in the same state, making it more likely he’ll consider other novel possibilities, such as being with you. With this in mind, try going on a date that is a little bit different to the normal stuff.
15. USE SEXUAL INNUENDO
Sexual innuendo is the perfect way to prove your interest, but don’t take it too far. You don’t want to come off as easy, because then your guy might assume you give everyone the same treatment. Keep it simple with lowered lashes, light touches, and, when appropriate, breathy whispers. If you don’t want to use innuendo but want the same effect, then you should consider using sexual tension instead.
16. CUDDLE LIKE IT’S 1999
Snuggling releases the love hormone oxytocin. Any time you get a chance, even “as friends,” cuddle to get your guy producing oxytocin, because it ups the probability he’ll experience those warm fuzzy feelings that will make him want to keep you.
17. BELIEVE IN YOURSELF
Confidence can make or break a relationship. If you feel good about yourself and believe strongly in your abilities, you encourage someone else to feel the same way. If, on the other hand, you appear anxious or uncertain, you lower others’ confidence in you. Project a strong belief in yourself, and your guy is likelier to see you as the powerful, able woman you are.
18. CULTIVATE INSIDE JOKES
If you’re stuck on how to get a guy to like you, try humor. Inside jokes are one of the best ways to connect, because they give you an easy way to bond in many different situations. Look for opportunities to forge a fun, lighthearted inside joke, then bring it up when appropriate. Don’t use them too often though as they can get annoying if overdone.
19. DISAGREE NICELY
If you’re wondering how to get a guy to like you, try showing a little backbone. Guys don’t love a girl who agrees with everything they say and doesn’t have her own opinions. Today’s modern man likes a woman he can respect, whom he can talk to and get real advice from. Be honest about your views and opinions, because it can only help.
20. DON’T PLAY TOO HARD TO GET
Playing hard to get may not be the best way to attract your man’s attention, even though I cover it as a tactic. Although jealousy tactics abound in books and movies, they usually send the wrong message in real life, telling him you’re not available and often making him give up altogether. While “forbidden fruits” might be appealing sexually, they aren’t the best way to encourage a guy to invest serious interest in you, so avoid this approach.
21. FIND COMMON GROUND
This is closely related to taking an interest in his interests, but is subtly different, because instead of just doing what he does, you’ll allow him to learn more about what you like too. Be open about what you enjoy, be it roller derby, hiking or collecting stickers … you never know what will catch his attention. It could be that your nerdiest hobby is also his secret passion, and what better way to bond than that?
22. TELL IT LIKE IT IS
At a certain point, the best way to get him to like you might just be to tell the truth. Although the above tips are great, if he’s just not getting it, it may be that he doesn’t understand you like him, that he’s too timid to make a move no matter what, or that he just isn’t into you. For better or worse, telling him the truth about how you feel can save you the pain of waiting forever.
Getting a guy to like you can be as simple as making a few small changes in your attitude and behavior, and the more time you dedicate to these tips, the more results you’ll see. Always remember, though, that a guy should only be one part of your happiness, and that if you forget to be true to yourself, even a man can’t make up for it. Maintain a healthy balance between the two for peace and happiness.
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