There’s an episode of FRIENDS where the women teach Chandler about the seven spots that turn on women, also known as erogenous zones. Monica outlines a pattern of stimulation that will make a woman’s toes curl, and Rachel even excitedly exclaims about toes! While we never learn what exactly those places are, we know there are at least seven – if not more – erogenous zones on your body that you and your man should know about.
The same is true for men — there are erogenous zones that are obvious and those that are not so well known, and there’s a lot of overlap between male erogenous zones and female erogenous zones.
Pay particular attention to these erogenous zones during foreplay if you have trouble getting turned on, which can make your G-spot and clitoris more receptive to aggressive stimulation. You may find yourself more aroused, more easily pleased, and more likely to orgasm after incorporating more erogenous zones than just your breasts, clit, or vagina.
Some erogenous zones may not respond to your own touch, like ticklish spots on your body, and you may not be able to provide the right type of stimulation, such as kissing, to some body parts. However, you can give it a try, anyway. You may even be surprised at some of the unexpected places that can be highly sensual.
If you know where to touch a man, it can lead to more pleasure and potentially better orgasms! Of course, focusing on these pleasure zones is a great way to involve your whole body during sex as you’ll soon discover.
Erogenous Zones in the Male and Female Body
The following is a list of erotic zones, many of which apply to anybody. The list moves from head to toe, creating a female erogenous zones map (or male erogenous zones map as you move from top to bottom).
Remember to incorporate some of these erogenous zones when getting intimate with your man to help turn him on and give him pleasure.
You may also discover new hot spots on your own body that you can take the time to get to know during masturbation. Then, you’ll be able to suggest to your man where he can touch you to get you extra turned on.
We surveyed our readers and asked for their views on their favorite erogenous zones, which you’ll see as quotes below.
1. The Brain As An Erogenous Zone
“My mind is my most erogenous zone. And if he teases me and fucks me with words, I can come without any physical contact.”
You may have heard how the brain is the most important sex organ or something similar. Obviously, we don’t mean that you should massage the grey matter of your brain! But a person’s brain might be the most potent pleasure zone that they have, and the things we think, say, and do can trigger desire and arousal. Some women are even able to orgasm from thought alone .
Your mind can follow your body & vice versa – When you can get your mind in the mood for sex or masturbation, your body will often follow. You might already have been turned onto this idea if you realize that you get horny after sexy times have started or only in response to certain things. This is known as responsive desire, and “a large component of women’s sexual desire is responsive rather than spontaneous” . Read more about how to get horny by making your body respond to stimuli.
What this means is that, for some people, certain things outside of their bodies are just as important when it comes to getting turned on. This may mean connecting with your partner emotionally or feeling desired. Putting on lingerie, playing sexy music, or lighting a candle.
Brakes & Accelerators to your sex drive – If you can’t add these factors in the bedroom, you might have an especially difficult time getting in the mood. Furthermore, the dual-control model of sexual desire suggests that there are things that put the brakes on your desire as well as things that accelerate it . You have to remove those things that up the brakes on, whether they might be frustration in your relationship, dirty laundry, or lack of privacy, if you want to get in the right headspace for sex. Without those things, your body may not be as responsive!
Your man can help you if he understand this. If you feel used or objectified, you may be less likely to be turned on. Make sure your man understands this and makes you feel appreciated. A woman whose mind is at ease is more likely to want sex, which means your man should take out the trash or help the kids with homework when he can, so you can relax.
You really are a unique snowflake – The examples listed above are some of the most common things that can help or hinder desire, but they’re far from an exhaustive list. Plus, they may not apply to you even if they apply to many people. Everyone’s brain and body are different, which means you need to figure out what works for you. Trying the wrong things may be completely ineffective, so you need to understand what your brain and body respond to specifically.
If you ignore the contribution of your mind to arousal and pleasure, you might have a hard time stimulating any of the pleasure zones on this list. But you’ll be glad when you incorporate teasing to increase sexual chemistry and provide sensation to a wider variety of body parts to facilitate more intense pleasure and better orgasms!
Start by paying attention to what’s going on around you when you feel especially aroused. How do you feel? And think? And when you struggle to feel arousal or sexual desire, what thoughts are racing through your mind? How does your body feel?
Share this information with your partner and ask them to do the same with you, so you can really activate each other’s brains as erogenous zones!
Above the Belt
You might expect us to begin by naming the genitals on a list of erogenous zones, but hold up! The first few hot spots on this list are almost entirely non-sexual body parts… unless you stimulate them in just the right way!
“When he pulls my hair while kissing my lips”
For many people, the scalp toes the line between being a sexual and sensual body part, especially when someone drags their nails along the skin or lightly tugs the hair. Now, you don’t want to be too rough (unless you’re both into rough sex), but you’re missing out if you overlook this sensitive body part. There are even scalp massagers! They may look pretty odd, but some people like them.
“My ears – just breathing on them works but licking and kissing is awesome as well.”
Ears play a significant role in foreplay. He can lick or nibble on them. Some women experience a shiver down their spine when they feel the heat of their partner’s breath on their ears, which happens during kissing or whispering. If your man purses his lips, his breath will feel cooler. The next time you are kissing and making out with him, try slowly moving from kissing his lips, to kissing him on his cheek and then kissing his earlobe.
Don’t forget to use your fingers! Lightly tugging on earlobes or tracing the cartilage can feel more sensual than you can even imagine, and some women enjoy a light trace of the finger along the skin behind their ears.
“My lips, he kisses, licks and sucks them.”
Most people realize that lips play a role in arousal and sex. We use our lips and mouths to show affection to everyone, with open-mouthed kisses being the most intimate type. But lips can do so much more than that!
They respond to light touches such as being traced by a fingertip. You might like it when your man bites your lips. Alternating sweet and passionate kisses help to keep things interesting, and if either you or your man needs a refresher in kissing technique, check out this post.
“My neck. Front or back, he knows when he puts his hand on my throat or kisses my neck in any way it’s going to stimulate a response from me.”
“Kiss the back of my neck and I’ll follow you around like a golden lab the rest of my life lol.”
The neck is a commonly known erogenous zone that may be an even stronger turn on spot for women! From kissing to leaving hickeys to massage, there are plenty of ways to arouse your neck. It can feel delicious to run an ice cube down the skin of the neck. Your partner can use their fingers, tongue, or even a feather toy to lightly tickle your neck.
Just be sure to let them know if it’s okay to leave a love mark or not!
One more reader had this to say about the neck:
“I like my partner to kiss lick and nibble his way from my ear lobe to my collar bone”
The thin skin over your collarbone makes it an ideal spot to plant kisses or lightly caress fingers. Plus, it’s close enough to switch to kissing the neck, lips, or the next erogenous zone!
7. Breasts and Nipples
“My nipples are very sensitive and sucking and licking them can cause me to orgasm.”
While a man often goes straight for his woman’s breasts, not every woman considers her breasts a female pleasure spot. You’re likely going to find your nipples the most sensitive, and you can pinch them or even try nipple clamps if you like more extreme sensations. A sensuous breast massage can also be quite relaxing.
Your man can lick or bite your nipples, which will be especially sensitive to cold. Ice is a popular “toy” for nipple play. Looking for inspiration? Try this advice on nipple stimulation.
Remember that you can turn it around on your man, too! The nipples are turn on spots for men, many of whom enjoy having them stimulated during sex.
8. Inner Arms
“My inner elbow and he lightly caresses it”
This might not sound like an erogenous zone, but hear us out! The soft skin on the inside of the arm, especially around the wrist and elbow, is often receptive to light touches. Do it right, and your partner might shiver in excitement!
“Hands and inside my wrists. Him rubbing gently with his thumb or soft kiss”
Here’s another unexpected erogenous zone. We usually think of hands in regards to what they can touch, but they can be touched, too. If you’ve ever gotten a hand massage, you can appreciate how good it feels to stimulate one of the most overworked parts of your body. It’s amazing even when it’s not sexual.
But if your man adds some massage oil and kneads the palms of your hands, rubs the backs of your hands, and slides his fingers between yours, you might melt well before your clothes come off!
10. Lower Stomach
“Stomach – gently touching and running his hands on my body”
For some people, the lower stomach can be especially sensitive. Its closeness to the genitals may make it more sensitive, and it’s certainly not a place that people other than a lover touches. Kisses and caresses are often welcome. BUT if someone is self-conscious about their stomach, their partner should proceed with caution.
“It’s a spot on my lower back that in a sense I can’t “turn off” (I have this ability where certain erogenous zones I can mentally and physically ignore them to stop myself from being turned on). My partner stimulates that spot by dragging his nails across it or he kisses it ever so gently, and I’m immediately turned on.”
“The small of my back. He uses his lips, tongue or fingertips to trace along my spine etc and it drives me wild”
The back is a perfect pleasure point to arouse a man if you use your nails to scratch! Many women probably like this, too.
Head south and you’ll find the lower back isn’t just a good place for a tattoo; it’s also one of those famous erogenous zones! If you experience lower back pain after a long day at work or during your period, you might especially enjoy the attention to this area in the form of a slow and sensual massage.
A woman’s lower back is ripe for a regular massage, and your man’s hands can travel south to rub your butt, too. He can focus on your spine if it relieves any discomfort. You might have a hard time reaching your own lower back, but your man can kiss it or even run an ice cube down the small of your back.
Don’t forget to lavish some of that attention on your partner, too. You can melt away his stress and tension, connect emotionally, and get in the mood together when you stimulate this erogenous zone.
The Genitals As Erogenous Zones
We’ve finally reached the body parts that immediately come to mind when most people think of erogenous zones. Thanks to numerous nerve endings and copious blood flow, the genitals and a few nearby body parts are incredibly sensitive. Touching them can lead to arousal, plenty of pleasure, and orgasm.
“When he gently, gently runs his fingers around the area around my vagina. Indirectly. It winds me up like a jack-in-the-box. I’m ready to explode.”
The vulva is the external portion of a woman’s body between her legs. It consists of the labia minora and majora, urethral opening, entrance to the vagina, and clitoris , which will get its own section in just a moment! Your partner can try kissing, sucking, or gently nibbling on your labia to see how your body responds.
The mons pubis, a fleshy mound that covers the pubic bone above the labia, is the last part of the external structure . Most people grow hair here, and it can be a sensitive spot. It may not be as sensitive as the rest of the vulva, so try playing with more intense stimulation or using your hands to apply pressure, especially while stimulating the G-spot internally.
13. Scrotum and Testicles
“Basically I like my balls tickled! The softer the touch, the better. But yeah…can’t recommend it enough”
The scrotum is the counterpart to the labia majora [6 p 747], so it makes sense that it’s sensitive. Combined with the testicles, the scrotum is super sensitive, but very few people seem to take advantage of them.
Maybe it’s because they are afraid that they may hurt their man or that he won’t like it. The key is to be really gentle with them. To rub them, just softly hold them and run your fingers over them. Make sure not to apply too much pressure though!
You can also gently stretch, suck, or nibble your man’s scrotum. The wrinkly skin is quite stretchy. Again, remember to be gentle!
We’ve already listed seven erogenous zones, and we’re just now getting to the clitoris, perhaps the most powerful one. Most women consider the clitoris to be more sensitive than their vagina . This is completely normal, but it’s also normal for clitoral stimulation to feel a bit uncomfortable if you’re not properly turned on first.
After turning yourself on, you can try several ways to stimulate your clitoris. This includes using your fingers, a vibrator, or even rubbing against something such as a pillow or your partner’s thigh. Try a position such as Thigh Tide where you can grind against your partner’s thigh during penetration or Cowgirl, which allows either of you to stimulate your clitoris.
These masturbation techniques will give you 14 different ways to stimulate your clit and the rest of your vagina.
If you’re like most women, you probably enjoy it when your partner performs oral sex. Luckily, we’ve got an article that teaches men how to easy pussy!
This naturally leads us to the vaginal opening, which is located beneath the clitoris. As you can see, heading straight to vaginal stimulation and penetration skips over around a dozen spots that turn on women! That’s plenty of opportunities to turn on and please yourself or your partner.
Once you’re sufficiently aroused, perhaps with an orgasm or two under your belt, vaginal penetration becomes more comfortable.
Sidenote: It’s always a good idea to have a bit of lube on hand if you have trouble getting wet. More on lube.
The most sensitive part of the vagina for some women is the outer third , which is why you don’t necessarily need a super-endowed partner for sex to feel good. Depending on your body, you might prefer the friction of fast-and-hard thrusting, vibrations, or simply the feeling of being full during penetration. However, vaginal stimulation doesn’t necessarily need to be aggressive to feel good.
There are several spots inside the vagina that you might find respond to pleasure, but every body varies.
- 16. The G-spot is located toward the front wall of your vagina within the first two to three inches. Use your fingers to search for a bumpy area in a valley. Learn how to find & stimulate your G-Spot.
- 17. The A-spot is located along the front wall several inches further beyond your G-spot. There are some tools and toys you can use to reach this or any erogenous zone in your vagina, including fingers, your partner’s penis, a dildo, or vibrator. Learn how to find and stimulate your A-Spot.
- 18. The cervix sits at the top end of the vagina and lower end of the womb . It cannot be penetrated, but you or a partner can stroke near or around it. Not every woman finds cervical stimulation pleasurable, and some only do if they’re immensely turned on. Learn how to have a cervical orgasm.
It should come as no surprise that the penis has several super-sensitive male pleasure spots. You can try to stimulate many at once or focus on them one at a time.
- 10. The shaft is the main part of a man’s penis and is obviously a male erogenous zone. It’s the part that’s covered in veins and runs from his testicles to the glans. To stimulate and rub his shaft, just wrap your hand around it and gently move it up and down over his shaft. This is the basic way to give your guy a handjob.
- 21. The glans is the head of a man’s penis. While the most sensitive spot on the penis may vary, many people consider the glans to be it. It’s the top of a man’s penis that has smoother, darker skin than the rest of his penis. Stimulating the glans is easy, just wrap your hand around it and slide your hand up and down it.
- 22. The corona is the part of the glans that separates it from the shaft . Some people refer to the corona as ‘the ridge’ because of how it looks. You will naturally stimulate the corona when giving your man a handjob.
- 23. The foreskin is the loose skin that covers the head of the penis , protecting the head of the penis when soft but pulls back when erect . If a guy is circumcised, the foreskin has been removed. But an uncut man will have a foreskin that is quite sensitive and will respond to stimulation from your hand or mouth and feel great during sex. The skin itself can be moved up and down the shaft.
- 24. The frenulum is the piece of connective tissue on the underside of the penis, where the foreskin attaches to the shaft . It is incredibly sensitive and for some guys, is the most sensitive spot on his body. You can stimulate it by gently licking it or using your fingers.
The perineum often seems like a secret erogenous zone. When I first mention it to students of The Bad Girls Bible they often say that they have never heard of it. The truth is that it’s real, very real. The perineum is located between the vagina and anus on women (and on men, it’s the patch of skin between his testicles and anus).
Some people call this patch of rough skin the “taint” or “gisp” or “gooch” and it can feel great when it’s pressed, rubbed, or massaged. You can even stimulate a man’s prostate through the perineum. More on that in a second.
26. Butt and Anus
“My butt cheeks. He just lightly caresses them and OMFG!!”
- The cheeks of the butt can take a spanking, pinching, or biting. They’re a great place to plant a kiss or gently massage. Plus, you can grab your partner’s butt cheeks for leverage during penetration.
- It’s no surprise that the anus is sensitive given how close it is to the genitals. The anal sphincter is the doorway to the rectum. You can experiment with anal sex (more about anal sex) or anal fingering if you’re not yet ready to dive into full-blown anal sex. A variety of sex toys exist specifically for pleasuring the back door: butt plugs and anal beads among them.
- Your man’s prostate is literally a hidden male erogenous zone. All you need to do is then gently press it. The walnut-shaped organ can be reached through a man’s anus. Aim your finger, penis, or toy toward the testicles. You can also rub it through the perineum and buy toys specifically for prostate milking. Get more tips for prostate massage. Note that men may be a little reluctant or nervous about allowing you to stick a finger inside him, so you should definitely talk about it first.
Erogenous Zones Below the Belt
If you think we’ve covered all of your sex spots just because we’ve talked about the genitals, think again! There are still a few left as we head further south…
27. Inner Thighs
“I love my upper thighs sucked and lightly bit. My husband starts by slowly rubbing my legs and working his way up. Then he gets in between my legs and slowly licks my thighs in small circle motions. He switched between that, sucking and lightly biting them for a few minutes.”
“Inside of thigh near to the top of my leg – he just needs to slowly stroke it”
Both men and women can experience pleasure in this area. The inner thighs are sensitive to both lighter touches and more intense ones, so your partner can try tracing with their fingertips, kissing or licking for a lighter touch. But if you like rougher sex, they can try even biting the fleshy part of your inner thighs. Some people also like slapping or spanking of the area.
Although you can’t reach your own thighs with your mouth, try caressing them the next time you masturbate.
28. Back Of Knees
“My legs (thighs/behind knee mostly) – soft caress, this one takes more patience but can be great pre-sex invitation when out somewhere”
The back of your knees is a funny place. It’s the last places you would think of as being ‘sexy’, ‘hot’, or ‘erogenous’. But they are! They feel great to have touched and caressed thanks to the soft, sensitive skin that is similar to that of the inner arms. They are also a perfect starting point for turning your man on.
“I like my toes being sucked and my feet being bitten, a good foot massage is a huge turn on”
We all know that people’s feet are highly sensitive and that having them tickled can cause fits of laughter. But they can also be receptive to sensual touch (and some people even like giving or receiving foot jobs). The next time you are both sitting on the sofa, try making your way down to his feet and rubbing them.
Just a quick pointer: Some people like having their feet massaged, others don’t. Some people love having their toes sucked, and others shudder at the idea. So you definitely want to talk about this one before trying it out.
Everyone is different, which is why communication is key along with experimentation when unlocking all of your erogenous zones – and his erogenous zones, too. If you enjoy when your partner runs a finger across the top of your back but don’t see it on this list of female erogenous zones, don’t be afraid to speak up! And if you don’t happen to like something that’s on this list of where to touch a woman’s body, it’s up to you to let your partner know!
One of the things that makes discovering new erogenous zones fun is the act of sexual exploration, and communicating about your body helps you do that! So enjoy having more of your body incorporated into sex and doing the same for your partner’s body and erogenous zones.