This updated guide will show you that you can still have a fantastic sex life if you or your man has a small penis and provides techniques that will help you get the most out of small penis sex! To start, I’m going to cover some issues about small penises, then I’ll get to the positions and techniques (oral, squirting & more!). Please don’t skip the first part, you’re going to learn a lot!
Firstly, Do You Really Have a Small Penis?
Sometimes guys feel insecure about the size of their penis when it’s actually pretty average. Averages vary across the globe. According to the NHS, “the average erect penis size varies from around 13cm to 18cm (5in to 7in) [1]” with some studies finding that the range of erect penis length for most men is 5-6.5 inches [2] or 5-6 inches [3 p 4]. A review of existing studies of over 15,000 men found that the average penis length was much closer to the lower end of that range at 5.17, with a girth of 4.59 inches [4].
Yet many men still feel like their penises are too small. Why is this? What is considered a small penis has definitely been influenced by porn. Because many of us see most penises in porn, which features penises that are especially long and thick and are not at all representative of the average.
A study published by researchers in CSULA and UCLA found that while 85 percent of women are satisfied with the size of their man’s penis, only 55% of men were satisfied with their penis size and 45% wanted to be larger [5]. This phenomenon is common enough that some people describe “small penis syndrome [6 p 202],” in which a man experiences anxiety about his penis being smaller than average.
While you don’t have to run out and demand to see others’ penises, remember that what you see on the screen is there because it looks good and fits the mold and that penises come in a wider variety overall.
When talking about penis size, there are two things to consider: length and girth. Length sounds obvious but it’s a bit more complicated than people realize. The penis extends beneath the skin where it’s surrounded by a fatty pad. This is why guys who lose weight seem to gain penis length.
There’s even a saying that for every thirty pounds a man loses, he’ll gain an inch in penis length.
Girth refers to the thickness, which can be measured around (circumference) or as a cross-section (diameter). These things are often proportionate. A micropenis is short and thin, but a penis can be long and thin or short and wide. For some women, a short penis isn’t an issue as long as it’s thick enough.
What About Micropenis?
Some men have an especially tiny penis known as a micropenis. While a small penis may just be slightly smaller than average, a penis is considered a micropenis if it is 2.5 standard deviations less than the average when age is taken into consideration [7, 8].
“2.5 standard deviations” may sound like a mumbo-jumbo science term, so let’s break down exactly what it means.
Take a study from BJU International, for example, which reported that the average erect penis was 5.17 inches in length with a standard deviation of .65 inches [4]. 2.5 standard deviations of .65 inches just means that you multiply 2.5 by .65 inches which gives you 1.625 inches.
5.17 inches – 1.625 inches gives you 3.545 inches. So in this study, they concluded that a micropenis is 3.545 inches or shorter.
While some people widely label any penis under 3 inches long as a micropenis, a larger penis may count as a micropenis if the culture’s average is longer than the global average.
To be clear, there still isn’t uniform agreement on exactly what constitutes a micropenis. According to another study, the majority of men with a micropenis fall within 2 standard deviations of the average [9].
While a small penis might be due to normal variation, a micropenis can result from too few hormones or a poor reaction to hormones during fetal development or childhood [10, 11]. This may be due to gene mutations [13] or other causes. Because of this, hormone therapy may stimulate penile growth in children [14].
Read More: 14 Answers to Your Big Questions About A Micropenis
Can You Make a Small Penis Larger?
The Internet is full of get-big-quick schemes that might seem alluring to a guy who has a small penis and feels insecure about it, especially if women have made a big deal out of it in the past.
The truth is, there’s no FDA-approved product to make your penis larger.
While you may be able to pay someone to perform a surgery or buy supplements or black-market products that may increase the size of a small penis, you shouldn’t take anything without approval from your doctor — even a supplement. These things may interact negatively with existing medications or could even cause harm on their own. This is especially true if you inject anything into your penis to make it bigger.
Some devices exist that can help you temporarily increase the size of your penis or help make your erection stronger, which can make it appear or feel larger than it is. You’ll learn more about these in the “Tools” section below!
Also, consider losing weight if you’re overweight. Carrying extra weight means the fatty pad that surrounds your penis is bigger and can obscure some of your penis that would be revealed were you slimmer. Research also shows that being overweight tends to negatively interfere with sexual desire and sexual performance and even cause a lack of sexual activity enjoyment [16].
Read More: An Analysis of 28 Scientific Studies on Making Your Penis Bigger
How to Tell a Woman About Your Small Penis
If there’s one thing a guy with a small or micropenis worries about, it’s when to tell a new partner. Should he warn her ahead of time so she can bow out? Should he just let her realize the first time they fool around? Maybe it’ll be fine if they develop feelings first.
Take a look at women’s’ thoughts on the subject, and you’ll see most of them agree: the sooner a guy tells her, the better.
This doesn’t mean that telling a woman you’re smaller than average guarantees she’ll break up with you or you won’t have sex.
In fact, some women suffering from a condition known as vaginismus that makes their vaginas uncomfortably tight will probably appreciate it
It just means she won’t be surprised by the fact. This surprise can kill arousal in the heat of the moment.
Yes, some women will find a small penis a dealbreaker, but it won’t be for others.
Consider the women who prefer a larger penis as simply noncompatible sexually. There are many ways people might not be sexually compatible. For example, some people require kinky sex to get off, while others want nothing to do with it. Part of cultivating a happy and healthy sex life is finding someone who either shares the same desires or who will compromise with you, so you both get what you want.
People often overlook sexual compatibility when they’re in love, but it’s important. It’s better to get these things out of the way rather than to waste your time and hers if it doesn’t work out in the end. Too often, people get into relationships with and even marry people who are not sexually compatible. Years or decades down the road they find themselves resentful and walking away, sometimes splitting up a family, because they can no longer take it.
So if a woman doesn’t want to be with you because of your penis or for any reason, really, consider it a bullet dodged.
But to the real question, how do you say it? Try to do it before sex comes up. This is one of those topics where saying it over the text or phone is probably okay. You can try something like:
Babe, I really like you and think there’s potential for this to go someplace. Before we go any further, I think you should know that my penis is smaller than normal, and this has been an issue in the past.
You can change things up to be more specific to your situation. If you’re not romantically involved, you might focus on how much you’re attracted to her but let her know about your smaller-than-average stature. Some guys prefer to let their partners know that they’re excellent lovers in a variety of ways, which brings us to our next point.
A Good Lover Doesn’t Need a Large Penis
A lot of guys worry that having a small dick means they can’t please their partners. The truth is, most guys are too penis-focused when it comes to sex. There’s something everyone should know:
Sex doesn’t have to be about the size or ability of your penis!
This is actually a good thing because you can spend less time thinking about size, erection, and ejaculating the way you’re “supposed to.” Instead, you can enjoy sex, explore with your partner, and break out of those restrictive sexual scripts (sexual scripts are the ideas about what sex is supposed to look like).
According to one study 36.6% of women require stimulation to orgasm [17]. Since penetration only stimulates the clitoris if it’s close to the vaginal opening or if you use a position such as the Coital Alignment Technique (learn more about CAT here), even a large penis may not get her off. Researchers believe this is why women orgasm less consistently from penetrative sex than men [18].
Take it from one female Redditor who said:
I actually have better orgasms when I’m not having intercourse tbh…and when I do have orgasms during sex it’s mostly from clitoral stimulation and has nothing to do with his dick.
Instead, you can use your hands, tongue, and sex toys to do the trick. Men who focus on those activities will already become better and less selfish lovers in their partner’s eyes. Before it even comes to penetration, she may have had an orgasm or multiple.
Here is an in-depth post on clitoral stimulation that will teach you how to have sex with a small penis better while stimulating her clit.
Then, penetrative sex is like the cherry on top! Or you might have sex in ways without penetration if it’s too difficult to have sex with a small penis.
One Reddit user describes it with enthusiasm:
The key is to own it. If you look insecure, or ask for validation, or draw attention to it, you’re dead. If you start off with conversation, then flirting, kissing, a bit of groping, escalate as you get to a bed, feel her all over, and then get going with the fingers and tongue on her breasts and clit to get her fire roaring before you come up and put it in her, not forgetting to continue touching her spots while you’re fucking her, she’ll be too busy buzzing around in heaven to ever notice, and afterwards, she’ll be too damn bonked out of her brain to care.
Of course, some women require penetration to orgasm, or simply enjoy penetration. Orgasm isn’t the only measure of pleasure, after all. For those instances, you might use tools such as a penis sleeve or your fingers to give her what she needs (see below for more suggestions). You can also employ an insertable vibrator or dildo in her size preference to make her happy. When she’s happy, she’ll be more willing to make you happy.
Remember that even a smaller penis may be able to stimulate her G-spot, which is situated just less than 2 inches inside her vagina rather than closer to the cervix at the back. According to study, it’s 4.5cm or 1.77 inches deep inside her [19].
Once you get away from the idea that sex is all about your penis or even penetration, you’ll see how easy it is to have good sex with a small penis. But really, this advice improves any sex. After all, a guy with a large penis might think that’s enough and have zero skill. You’ll definitely beat him out if you develop those skills.
There is a caveat, however.
A Bad Attitude Might Be a Dealbreaker Even If Your Penis Isn’t
What do we mean? Being super insecure about your penis size can lead to negative behaviors such as constantly wanting reassurance or overcompensating in ways that are arrogant or obnoxious. She might be able to get over the size of your penis and have great small penis sex… but can you?
Sometimes it’s not the size of your dick but how you feel about it that can ruin a potentially good thing. Don’t get us wrong; it’s completely understandable if you feel some insecurities. But if you’re so wrapped up in them that it affects your masculinity and manhood, you might consider talking to a professional to work through them.
By now it should be obvious that being a good partner/lover and an awesome man doesn’t tie into your penis size directly, but it may take a little more work than reading this article to accept that. Good luck!
What to Do if Your Partner Has a Small Penis
So your partner has a small penis, what do you do?
Be Kind
Whatever you do, be kind and compassionate. Size may be a deal-breaker for you, or it may be a surprise the first time you’re going to have sex. Sometimes our faces can betray our feelings even when we’re trying to be nice. Remember that his hard penis might be much larger than his soft one if he’s a ‘grower’ and not a ‘shower.’
Sometimes a partner doesn’t know how or when to let you know he has a small dick. Doing so takes a lot of courage. You may be the first partner he’s opened up to, or other women may have made fun of him in the past.
Women can do hurtful things such as tell their friends about their partner or ex’s tiny penis, share photos, or bring it up in fights. All you need to do is look at the various Reddit threads where guys remember the cruel things that have been said and done to them. One man stated how “finding someone who I love and who loves me back and having to “break the news” is [his] biggest fear.” You don’t want to contribute to that even if it’s not going to work out.
Break It Off Gently and Quickly If You Must
If you know that a small penis or a micropenis is a deal-breaker, it’s best to let him know that it won’t work out as soon as possible. Don’t drag it on. Unfortunately, if you realize this the first time you had sex, and you stop seeing him shortly after, he’ll probably think it’s because of his penis. Sometimes there’s no getting around that. However, you can be compassionate and kind when you know you’re just not a good fit.
There’s no way he can permanently change his penis size, and his size it due to genetic factors that are out of his control. Making him feel bad about that is a pretty heartless thing to do.
Look On the Bright Side
On the other hand, a small penis might not be a big obstacle or if you prefer shallow penetration (big penises sex hurts some women) or if your guy is an attentive lover that uses all the tools at his disposal, and it may be something you choose to work around if you have feelings for this guy.
Encourage experimentation with sex positions for a small penis and toys, and keep the lines of communication open and clear to ensure a satisfying sex life. Remember that people of all different bodies and abilities can enjoy sex.
It may be difficult to talk about these issues. Try not to blame him (it’s not his fault) and focus on the fact that some activities or positions are less than ideal than your bodies. Have a few suggestions on hand to try (you can also simply direct him into a new position during sex).
The truth is that size does matter to women in some ways. The wrong perception can halt a relationship before it even starts. But size doesn’t always matter in the way some people imagine it will!
Guys with large penises are used to women being impressed, oohing and aahing over the size. Many times, these men think they don’t need to develop any technique because their large penises will be enough, which may or may not be true! But men with small penises often want to make up for their lack of size in other ways. Maybe they are more attentive to a woman’s needs. Perhaps they have developed excellent oral skills.
When a guy has the right mindset about sex, you might find the sex to be so great that the small penis isn’t an issue at all. It might be more exciting to look at a large penis, but once the sex is underway, it might not make much of a difference to you.
Even when his size is less than optimal, learning how to have sex with a small penis rather than using the same old tips can make a world of difference.
Don’t Lie
Remember that your guy may want reassurance. While it’s not up to you to stroke his ego, you can remind him of the things you enjoy about your sex life and relationship. This should come especially easy if you have a strong romantic connection. Avoid saying things about his penis being big because you both know it’s not the truth, and that’s hurtful, even if you don’t mean it to be.
Be Careful with Toys
Finally, the topic of sex toys. If your guy has suggested them, it’s a safe bet you can break yours out or suggest shopping together. However, some guys can be intimidated by toys even if they don’t have a small penis. The way you introduce toys matters. Try one of these to introduce toys:
- “Do you want to see me come?”
- “It would be so hot if you use this one on me.”
Remember that toys can make him feel good, too.
Sex Positions For A Small Penis
Here are the best positions for a small penis, some of which stimulate the G-spot area or to make his penis feel bigger.
Thigh Tide
Many people agree that girl-on-top positions are the best sex positions for a small penis because the woman can really sink onto the man. You can also adapt it by placing a pillow beneath his hips if you help. Thigh Tide is especially good because while the woman faces away from the man, his leg is bent at the knee and she can grind against it for clitoral stimulation. Like other woman-on-top positions, this one lets her set the pace.
Cowgirl
In this classic woman-in-top position, small penis sex is easier because gravity pulls the fat pad that surrounds the penis down to reveal more of the shaft. Either partner can stimulate her clitoris and there may be room for a vibrator depending on your bodies.
Try this trick: the man places his hand face down on his lower abs with his fingers spread in Spock’s Vulcan salute with two fingers resting on either side of his penis. The woman can grind against her knuckles as she rides him.
Turtle Position
Get down on your hands and knees, put your butt in the air and keep your back arched and your thighs together. Pull your chest down towards your thighs. This variation of Doggy Style makes it easy for your man to penetrate you deeply. You can also learn 10 other Doggy Style positions here.
Anvil Position
The Anvil position works great because it shortens the vaginal canal, so penetration feels much deeper. Also, by keeping your legs close together or even crossing your ankles helps to increase the friction and feeling of tightness. Just make sure you are flexible and strong enough before attempting this position. You can learn 24 other sex positions where you are lying on your back here.
Sandwich Position
If you are very flexible, then you should try out the Sandwich position. As you can see in the demonstration above, you need to bend your legs and bring them back to your side. To help you do this, try placing your hands on your knees and pull them back and down.
There are over 110 more sex positions you can try.
What About Anal Sex?
If you’ve never had anal sex before, having it with a guy with a small penis might be the ideal way to begin. You won’t be intimidated, and your man should have a good time.
Check out the in-depth Anal Sex Guide with tips for having satisfying and pain-free anal sex. Of course, if you are looking for some good anal sex positions to try with your man, then you will find 19 different positions here.
Other Tools to Make Small Penis Sex Work
Using tools to make sex is smart no matter what you’re working with. Many men feel an immense amount of pressure to have a penis that looks right, can become erect at a moment’s notice, and remains hard as long as he wants, and will have no trouble ejaculating, but also doesn’t ejaculate too quickly.
Sometimes things don’t work that way. But there are so many tools at your disposal. From your hands and tongue to sex toys, you can rely on those tools to have good sex and take some of the pressure of your penis!
We’ve already mentioned using a pillow, but it’s worth mentioning again. Placing a pillow underneath the partner on the bottom’s hips raises them and brings the two of you closer together. If your regular pillows fall flat, try a memory foam pillow that will keep its shape. Companies such as Liberator make them, especially for sex.
A vacuum pump is a device that can be used before sex to temporarily increase the size of a penis with suction. Cock rings are then worn at the base of the penis during sex to prevent blood from leaving the erection, which can give the impression of a larger penis. Finally, a penis sleeve is made from a soft material that you wear on your cock during sex. Sleeves can add girth and length and may also be textured.
Don’t forget about fingers! If you’ve got a smaller penis, your partner will be able to tell if you’re using your finger, instead. That’s not always a bad thing, but you don’t want to be deceptive. However, you can always insert a finger or two along with your penis depending on what’s comfortable.
Eat Pussy Like A God & More
Of course, there’s more to satisfying your female partner than simply using the correct sex position.
Don’t Forget About Safer Sex
Many people use condoms to prevent pregnancy and the transmission of STIs. Condoms work best when properly fitted. If you have a micropenis or a tiny dick, standard condoms might be a bit large. This can cause them to slip off [20].
Many companies make condoms for smaller penises, however, so you can still have safe sex. Look for condoms labeled “snug” or “slim” fit.
Finally, consider the female/internal condom. A woman inserts one end of this condom into her vagina where it will sit near her cervix. The other end hangs out slightly. This condom protects against pregnancy and STIs and doesn’t depend on her partner’s size.
Having sex with a guy with a small penis can be just as good as sex with an average-sized or well-endowed guy — if you both have the right mindset and use techniques and sex positions for a small penis that we’ve outlined, you can achieve maximum pleasure. You might find that as long as you have a satisfying sexual relationship, the size really doesn’t matter.