You’ve met someone great. He’s hot, he’s funny and you can’t wait to get him in bed! The last thing you want to do is mess it up.
Let the Bad Girls Bible show you 5 horrendous sex mistakes that women (& a lot of men) make with their new beau and how you can avoid them.
MAKING IT ALL ABOUT SEX*
This is crucial. Men mess this up just as much, if not more than women do.
If you make everything you both do together about sex, then your new man will come to see the relationship as a purely sexual one. Not a relationship where you connect emotionally and intellectually.
Instead he will see it as one where you both meet just to have sex.
Not that there is anything wrong with that
So if you meet a great guy, who you are really attracted to, make sure to make time for just hanging out, getting to know each other and having fun, instead of solely just meeting up to have sex.
*Obviously this does not apply to having a fuck buddy!
WITHHOLDING SEX UNTIL HE DOES X & Y & Z
So you’ve met this great guy, you’ve been on a couple of dates and you feel like you really click with him.
Or until he has bought dinner twice.
Or until he can perform a backflip.
Or whatever rule you made up.
Basing your relationship with your man (or with anyone) on silly made up rules is not a great way to live.
Instead, I firmly believe that you should always do what you feel comfortable with, while demanding respect and giving it in return.
In other words:
Don’t sleep with a guy until you are comfortable with the idea (and excited about it!).
Side Note: If you are not comfortable with a guy after 10 dates, then this is probably a sign!
REVEALING YOUR KINKS & FETISHES BEFORE HE’S COMFORTABLE*
So maybe you’ve been reading the Bad Girls Bible a lot and now you are ready to explore your kinks and fetishes in the real world.
So you go on a date with a cool guy and one of the first things you tell him is that you want to be tied up and have some really rough sex while he calls you every name under the sun.
Nothing wrong with that in the slightest.
and it’s a big BUT
Revealing your kinks, desires and fetishes to your man before you know he’s comfortable with that sort of thing is a big no-no.
It can scare him off. Or worse, he may quickly pigeonhole you as the ‘wild girl’ or ‘kinky one’ without taking time to get to know the rest of you.
A better approach is taking things slower. Instead of just blurting out your kinks, wait for an appropriate time, when the conversation takes a turn towards something sexual or ‘kinky’.
A great way to subtly approach it is by being flirty:
I bet you are the kind of guy who likes a dominant woman. I can tell…
You seem like such a nice and fun guy when we hang out. I bet it’s the complete opposite in the bedroom?!
I may seem all sugar and spice. But there are a few things about me that would surprise you.
If your man doesn’t respond positively or seem interested, then wait for while and just try again. When he responds positively, then it’s time to slowly open up.
This may seem obvious now that you’ve read it, but many people make the mistake of taking things too far, too quickly. Taking things too far, too quickly can often make your man clam up, which is the last thing you want to happen.
*It’s never too soon if both you and him are totally comfortable.
This should also be obvious. Sadly people regularly forget this one too!
Sex is about 2 (or more) people giving and taking. It’s not just about you. And it’s not just about him/her.
Sometimes it’s nice when you lover does all the work and makes sex all about what you want and enjoy. But it’s important to return the favor to show that you appreciate it.
So remember not to be selfish with your lover.
If you’ve ever opened up to someone about your deepest, darkest thoughts, whether sexual or otherwise, you know how crushing it can be when they are judgemental or unsympathetic about them.
This goes for your lover too.
Maybe you’ve both started to share your deepest, darkest desires. It’s hot and exciting.
Then your man tells you something you have no interest in. Maybe it even repulses you?
The worst thing you can do is be judgemental about it. It will make him close up. And he will be more reluctant to share these kinds of things with you in the future.
So whatever you do, try to be open and non-judgemental. Just because he has these thoughts, doesn’t mean that he ever wants to act them out in real life.
If you are a guy reading this, this applies to you too.
NOT LEARNING GREAT SEX TECHNIQUES
Finally, you may also want to add in ‘not learning great sex techniques’ as mistake number 6. The last thing you want to do is to turn him off with boredom.