Whether you’ve dabbled in BDSM before or you’re new to it. BDSM games are a great way to turn the electricity up to “10” and create memories in the bedroom you won’t soon forget!
BDSM games serve a variety of goals. They might help you connect with your partner, blow off steam, try a new toy, train your submissive if you’re into strict BDSM or simply to keep things fun if they’re become a little stale over the years.
1. PLAYING WITH REMOTE TOYS
Sex toys are great on your own and in regular sex, but when you add the element of power play to your powered toy, they become something else entirely. In this game, the dominant partner retains control of a remote control-powered toy. There are a few options from Lelo and also vibrating panties with remotes that will do the trick.
The two of you head to a public place such as a restaurant or movie theater with your secret kept hidden. If your partner has control of the remote, he gets to turn it — and you — on whenever he pleases. He controls the mode and strength. As the game starts out, it’s your duty not to show any sign that you’re being stimulated, and you’ll have to keep up the poker face and straight posture as he increases intensity and you grow closer to orgasm. Of course, you can’t orgasm whenever you’d like; that’s his prerogative, too. This is a great way to incorporate edging into your sex life!
If you’re good enough, he might decide you get to orgasm. If you cum without permission, he may apply a swift punishment when you get to a more private place — how about a spanking? Or if he’s really evil, he won’t let you have dessert!
Wanna mix it up? Swap the remote with friends or other BDSM players who want to have fun teasing, even — or especially — if they don’t know how to use the toy.
2. ICE ICE BABY
The shock of cold ice causes nipples to spring to life, penises to shrink back toward the body and provide a fun place for penguins to play. While you might not naturally live in the Antarctic, you can have fun with ice, too. There are a number of ways to incorporate ice into the bedroom and BDSM games, in particular.
- Create an ice dildoby filling a condom with water, tying it closed and putting it in the freezer. When it freezes, it can be used vaginally, but you should stay away from anal use because there’s no flared based. An ice dildo is especially tantalizing if you’re bound and blindfolded and your partner uses it on you without warning. Your hair will stand on end, and you may find yourself begging for less — or even more! It’s up to your partner to decide what you get.
- Many sex toy materials, including stainless steel, ceramic and glass, respond well to temperature. Running a toy made of any of these materials under frigid water will transfer the cold to them — and the opposite works as well. You can insert them directly or run them over sensitive body parts such as the nipple for an arousing effect.
- Regular ice cubes will do the trick when you don’t want to insert something. Tease — or torture — your partner by running them up his spine or sliding them across his nipples. Apply ice cubes to metal nipple clampsto increase the pain, or use them to soothe nipples after you take off the clamps!
3. POLLING PUNISHMENT
A great way to make an impact — pun intended! — when meting out discipline is to make your submissive count the blows. Whether you’re spanking, caning, flogging or something else, make him keep count. This is beneficial to anyone who really dislikes impact play because they’ll know there’s a set number of blows, say 15 or 20, coming. If your partner loses composure and stops counting, especially if it’s because they’re enjoying it too much, you have to start over. Eventually, you’ll get to the end, and your partner’s backside will glow a lovely shade of red!
4. TASK ORIENTED
Assigning tasks is a common BDSM game when it comes to training submissive in the lifestyle. But you and your partner can enjoy this theme even if you’re not a 24/7 lifestyler! There are multiple ways you can assign tasks.
- Instruct your partner to retrieve something on hands and knees, like a dog. It could be something you’ve placed for the sake of the game such as a piece of paper or even your cell phone or a pencil that you actually need. Set a time limit that’s possible to reach but cutting it close. If your pet is able to complete the task, a reward such as orgasm or oral sex is due. If not, it’s time for punishment! Combine this game with collar, tail butt plug, mitts and a leather masks for the full effect.
- Set up an obstacle course in your dungeon space or even home. Furniture, pillows or even delicate china can become an obstacle that your pet must go around or surmount within a given time period. You can encourage your pet with a riding crop for realism as he tries to navigate tight corners.
- Leave notes for tasks that your submissive must do during the day. These tasks may be functional, like doing the dishes, or they could be sexier in nature. For example, you might instruct him to watch porn without getting off, masturbate with his favorite toy (perhaps recording himself?) or to wear a butt plug all day. Bonus points if you set up cameras to make sure he’s doing it right while you’re away!
A dominant who wants to be especially devious can try to distract the submissive while he or she tries to beat the clock. For instance, turning on porn or masturbating is usually a distraction to even the most diligent pet. Counting down the time can make your sub frazzled and make a mistake, or you could even follow him around the room tapping a crop against the side of your leg to cause his adrenaline to spike.
5. READING THE CARDS
Following the rules can be hard for any sub, which is why drawing a punishment card is so tantalizing. If you’re playing sub and have broken a rule or otherwise been naughty, drawing from a deck of punishment cards to choose your own punishment at random will make you think twice about being so disobedient again!
The cards can simply contain the name of a type of punishment, or the sub could be forced to create them with drawings as extra motivation! This can become a fun BDSM game if the submissive is required to create a certain amount of new punishments every day. In fact, some of the cards might say to draw another two cards, which makes this BDSM game different every time you play. Finally, creating a similar reward deck for every time the submissive does a good job creates the perfect balance.
6. STRANGER ROLE PLAY
You can combine BDSM, stranger sex, dressing sexy, and role play for an amazing night or weekend. This BDSM game requires a little more thought and setup to go smoothly, but it’s often well worth it!
You and your partner can agree to meet in a public place, but you’ll arrive separately — as strangers. One of you will approach in an attempt to hit on the other. If you decide the submissive must make the approach, then you’ll have to do it again and again until you get it right. Getting it right can mean acquiring a phone number or, even more racy, heading to a hotel room with this newly met “stranger.”
During your game, the dominant can order drinks, instruct body language, make the submissive dance or even sing karaoke and otherwise perform actions that might be a little out of the ordinary for you. It’s a fun way to get out of your comfort zone, and it’s ultra-thrilling against the backdrop of stranger role play.
BDSM games can especially be fun when the person in control gives instructions that ensures failure. And when a submissive purposely disregards instructions or doesn’t pay attention to details to earn a spanking, she might secretly feel glee at being on the receiving end of her favorite punishment. Of course, you and your partner know each other best, so you’ll be able to adapt a BDSM game to be as difficult or easy as you’d like.