Deep down, each person has an innate desire to want to feel, well… desired.
Let’s be clear, though. Feeling desired — or more directly stated, feeling sexy — is far more than simply the urge for physical intimacy, though. Instead, feeling sexy is the very building blocks necessary for self-confidence (which is always super attractive!). It’s about feeling good in the skin you’re in, and about being aware of our beauty, worth and value… both inside and out.
Think about it — have you ever encountered someone you viewed as attractive from afar, only to be taken aback by their nearly non-existent self-esteem and constant need for outward affirmation? Spending a great deal of time around a person like this can be exhausting, and can make for serious difficulty in forming a healthy and lasting relationship.
Speaking of relationships, when you learn how to feel sexy, there’s an intangible quality that attracts others to you. Others want to come close — very close — and that feeling of sexiness can lead to a healthy sex life.
But feeling sexy, unfortunately, eludes many people…
Perhaps because of long-held misconceptions which make people believe they have to “do” something special to achieve the feeling of sexiness. No, sexy is not synonymous with slutty… and no one should ever feel the need to lower their standards, or to don overly revealing outfits which make them uncomfortable. While looking your best is certainly part of feeling your best, feeling sexy is not limited to what’s happening on the outside; instead, it encompasses all of what makes you, you.
Trust us, Justin Timberlake is not the only person ‘bringing sexy back.’ With the tips to make yourself feel sexy that you’ll find below, you, too, can take little steps to feeling sexy every day.
#1 WEARING IT WELL.
While the clothes don’t make the woman, ill-fitting, outdated duds can make you feel like a dud. Clearly, the fashion industry — a multi billion dollar global industry — is not solely driven by couture conscious men and women. Instead, fashion allows the wearer an opportunity for individual expression and the chance to allow their exterior to reflect what’s happening on the inside.
In her 2012 book entitled You Are What You Wear: What Your Clothes Reveal About You, clinical psychologist Dr. Jennifer Baumgartner elaborates on what she refers to as the psychology of dress. She says that while many spend hours in search of the just right article of clothing to reflect a positive and sexy image, all clothing choices — even the bad ones — are rooted in psychology. “The worst clothing is the kind that tries to undo, ignore or hide where or who you are, or the kind that shows you didn’t pay attention to your body/age/situation,” says Baumgartner.
Beyond Baumgartner’s observations, though, are the results of a 2012 study on ‘enclothed cognition’. The results of the study offer well-researched evidence which proves that the clothing you’re choosing serves not only to send a message to others around you, but it also sends a message to you. So if you are trying to feel sexier, be sure you’re selecting items that fit well, are flattering and make you feel like the sexiest (most confident) woman on the planet.
#2 HEALTHY EATING HELPS YOU LOOK & FEEL YOUR BEST.
We have all heard the old adage, “You are what you eat.” The food you eat is fuel for the body, and the healthier your choices, the more likely the body can utilize it for the energy and cell regeneration it needs.
But maintaining a clean, healthy eating regimen is not only the best way to offer the body abundant nutrition, it also enhances your natural radiance and beauty. According to Manhattan-based nutritionist and bestselling author Natalia Rose, consuming clean, healthy natural foods provides the body with an essence described as “life force energy.” In her 2007 book entitled Raw Food Life Force Energy: Enter A Totally New Stratosphere Of Weight Loss, Beauty and Health, Rose states: “When you increase the flow of this power [life force energy] in your body, you will naturally and quickly become more energetic, healthy, lean and joyful.”
Rose goes on, offering further evidence that looking and feeling great comes from the inside out. She said in her nutrition practice, “Not only have I seen clients morph from average looking to highly attractive, but I’ve also had the pleasure of watching illnesses subside and relationships heal–all because of the energy and joy that surges through their bodies as they adopt a more enlightened approach to health and diet.”
To be clear, feeling sexy is not about following any specific diet plan. It’s about consuming that which lends itself to feeling your best, rather than regularly gravitating towards the foods which make you want to head immediately for the couch, and by doing this you will naturally start to feel sexy.
#3 WORK THAT BODY, BODY!
Every medical and fitness professional will tout the benefits of exercise for maintaining a healthy body and boosting energy levels. Of course, seeing improvements in your fitness level or noticing even small changes in your figure will boost confidence levels dramatically and help make you feel sexy. But that’s not the only benefit that comes with working that body, body, whether in the gym or in the bedroom!
According to Harvard Medical School Psychiatrist John Ratey, who wrote the book Spark: The Evolutionary New Science of Exercise and the Brain, “Exercise is the single best thing you can do for your brain in terms of mood, memory, and learning.” Regular exercise also tends to alleviate stress and depression by boosting the production of the brain’s feel good chemicals like serotonin, norephinephrine and dopamine. In other words, it’s the perfect solution to help you feel sexier, both mentally and physically.
The important thing to remember when you’re getting started establishing a fitness routine is that there are so many ways to get a good workout, finding the right fitness regimen is as simple as finding workouts that are right for your lifestyle. If gym-timidation makes you cringe, there’s spin classes, hiking, biking, running, walking, yoga, Pilates and swimming. All of these different workouts, if done regularly and consistently will help you to feel sexier and be more energetic.
Plus, with the popularity of dance-based reality shows, many studios offer fun, low-cost dance classes for beginners (and depending on the style of dance, it may require getting close to your dance partner!) Oooh, la lah!
#4 OH, YES, IT’S LADIES’ NIGHT, AND THE FEELING’S RIGHT!
Bars are often swimming with guys who would enjoy buying you a drink and getting to know you better. So, when you want to feel sexy, there’s really no better place to boost your ego, to meet someone new and to have a great night out.
Many bars (and dance clubs) routinely sponsor a Ladies’ Night event… and where there are ladies (and lots of them), guys tend to follow. (And Ladies’ Night usually means getting into the venue for free — or for a very low cost — if you arrive by a certain time). But don’t wait exclusively for that event. There are great guys hanging out at bars every day of the week too, just make sure to choose the right bar!
Listen, you may not head to Ladies’ Night looking for Mr. Right, but if you want to feel sexy, then putting yourself in an environment where guys are doling out compliments and flirting is the perfect way to do it
#5 FLIRT, ‘CAUSE YOU’RE SEXY AND YOU KNOW IT!
To add to the previous tip, placing yourself in environments where men will not only notice you but places wherein they can also feel comfortable approaching you is great. Most people would call it “putting yourself out there.”
But when you feel good about yourself — about how you look and feel — there’s certainly no need to wait for him to make the first move. The old rules of waiting for him to approach you have been replaced, and contrary to what you may have heard before, most men find it flattering and are completely open to him.
Letting a guy know you’re interested doesn’t have to involve some well-timed and well-prepared pickup line. In fact you should totally ignore pick up lines altogether. Instead, it could be as simple as flirting with him verbally, or as subtle as waiting for his eyes to meet yours, holding your eyes there for a few seconds, then glancing away flirtatiously. After all, he IS a guy, and he will not only notice, but non-verbal flirtation also gives him the signal it’s not only okay to approach, but that you’d like for him to.
Use the style that works for you and if will help you to feel sexy, but remember, it’s about having fun… ’cause you’re sexy and you know it!!!
#6 SEXY LINGERIE
While all underwear serves a practical and functional purpose, lingerie has come a long way, baby! From soft, satin and lace fabrics to beautiful color combinations and styles, lingerie has transitioned from simply being a clean comfortable undergarment to being an affordable, feminine luxury that can instantly make you feel sexy.
If you’ve browsed through a lingerie shop, or perused a lingerie catalog lately, you’re likely to find a wide variety of sexy styles, including sheer body suits, g-string panties, thongs, crotchless teddies, bustiers with garters and thigh-high hosiery, see through chemise with matching panties… the combinations are nearly endless.
But whether you’re planning on having a steamy night between the sheets or not, wearing sexy lingerie really does make you feel sexier and more confident. Although it may not be seen by anyone except you — at least for today — wearing ultra feminine, ultra flattering, sexy lingerie offers the feeling of self-pampering. It just makes you feel good, feel sexy, and feel more confident, from the inside out.
And when you DO have that steamy night of passionate lovemaking, the seduction starts with that provocative lingerie. Like it or not — men are visually stimulated creatures. Worried that he may view you as one of those women? Don’t. Most men will appreciate the extra time and effort you put into making the evening special for him, and his response will make you feel even better!
#7 JOIN A DATING SITE!
In our technologically-driven, fast-paced society, making connections can be tough. While you may see (or be noticed by) a great — and great looking — guy on the street, it’s possible that one or both of you may be short on time and simply unable to have a meaningful conversation. Of course, well-meaning friends may make an attempt at matchmaking–pairing you with a nice friend or relative. But dating sites put the power of connection in your hands, and these sites are available any time of the day or night.
There are a huge number of sites out there — OK Cupid, Match.com, eHarmony, Spark, Our Time, Plenty of Fish and Zoosk, among many, many others. Plus, there are a number of mobile dating apps available, including Tinder, Skout, Badoo and Let’s Date.
The great thing about dating websites is that they are utilized by millions of people around the world, literally. Each individual posts a profile, shares some of their hobbies and interests, and can flirt virtually with anyone they’re attracted to on the site. Dating websites also allow you to get to know the person a bit better, before deciding whether or not to take the relationship further. But at the very least, joining a dating site (or downloading a mobile dating app), allows you to send and receive messages and compliments from lots of other singles — in your area and from thousands of miles away.
In conclusion, you don’t have to do risque things or make major lifestyle changes in order to feel sexy every day. Remember, feeling sexy on the outside starts with what’s going on inside, so do your very best to position yourself for the inner confidence you deserve. Soon, you’ll notice changes, and so will those around you — you sexy thing!
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