Don’t you just love when your man moans and groans during sex? Hearing your name come out of your lover’s lips is definitely a treat, and dirty talk can enhance sex and give you better orgasms. It’s also something that intimidates a lot of people, so you’re not alone if you don’t know where to start! Don’t think you need to perform like a porn star who’s in the spotlight. Instead, follow these guidelines about things to say during sex, and you’re set!
WHAT TO SAY BEFORE SEX
It’s a lot easier to say anything in bed if you get the ball rolling beforehand. This can start before you’re even in the same room as your man. Send him a sexy text or picture. Let him know you’re thinking of him or how much you want him. It’s guaranteed to get you both in the mood, and he’ll rush home from work or be waiting for you when you get home from the office.
Once you’re in the same room, you’ll start kissing, groping and taking each other’s clothes off, but don’t forget to speak up during this stage; don’t just talk during sex! If your man looks or smells good, tell him. Run your hands over his body. Do his muscles ripple beneath your fingers? Pipe up. Men often don’t receive a lot of compliments, even though they love them, and he’ll enjoy the ego boost. If there’s any doubt, pointedly tell him that you want him. Right here. Right now. He won’t be able to resist giving you what you want!
THINGS TO SAY DURING SEX TO KEEP IT HOT
Your clothes are off. Hands are exploring, mouths are heading south. Penetration is inevitable if it has happened already. But it seems too quiet? Should you talk during sex? Absolutely, and here are some great ideas.
1. LET HIM KNOW HOW IT FEELS
Does it feel oh-so-good or do you need something a little more? Let him know. If he’s doing a great job, it’ll be good for him to hear those things. There’s no need for you to sit through sex that isn’t doing it for you, so a little guidance doesn’t hurt. Don’t be afraid to tell him you need it harder, softer or a little to the left. If you don’t speak up, how will he learn?
Plus, talking keeps the two of you connected just like making eye contact can mean the difference between fucking and making love. More on that in this post.
2. ASK HOW HE FEELS
Now, you don’t want your man to feel like he’s playing 20 Questions in bed, but this tactic is both sexy and practical. A well-placed “Does that feel good?” or “Do you like it?” is hot when met by a whimper – because that’s the only sound your man can manage. And if he needs more pressure, anal stimulation or even a break, he can let you know. Sex shouldn’t be a guessing game, and not knowing what your partner wants can certainly lead to sexual anxiety. More on that here.
3. ENCOURAGE HIM
These things to say during sex help your man keep up his stamina and excitement. Like telling him how it feels, encouraging him is positive reinforcement. It might also be crucial because women so frequently need extended stimulation in a specific manner. What do we mean by encouragement? A little instruction just like in the following phrases:
- Fuck me!
- Right there.
- Keep doing that.
- Don’t stop.
Of course, you can always let him know when you’re about to orgasm. This helps him do whatever it is that’s going to set you over the edge. And it’s pretty hot to hear!
4. TALK ABOUT DESIRE
You might have mentioned how much you wanted him before you stripped down, but this line of thought can continue if you’re trying to decide what to say during sex. You can tell him how long you’ve been waiting, how you had been thinking about him earlier (and perhaps did something about it!) and how you’re so excited to finally be together. You can make it a bit more romantic if you focus on being together and connecting rather than the sex, but there’s nothing wrong if talk during sex focuses on the animal lust!
5. TELL HIM YOUR FANTASIES
Fantasies are often hidden from the world and can even be a source of shame, especially if you’ve got some fantasies that you would rather stick in the fantasy world. Instead, open up to your lover about your fantasies. It’s an easy way to end the silence if you’re not sure what to say during sex. Tell him what you think about when you’re masturbating or having sex. It can enhance the mood and feel liberating.
You’ve probably already got an idea in mind, but how do you start? Try these intros.
- “Do you know what I think about when I’m masturbating?”
- “Don’t you think it would be hot to ___? I do!”
- “I’m so naughty; I’ve been thinking about ___.”
Keep it going. If he’s into the idea, he can contribute to your fantasies, or he might tell you some of his own fantasies. Everyone has them, after all.
6. REMIND HIM OF THINGS YOU’VE DONE
Was there a time you had sex with others in the room? Perhaps you got drunk and tried something a little kinkier than usual. Maybe you’ve had sex in a car when someone could have stumbled across your naked bodies? There’s something in your sexual history that makes for a smokin’ hot story, and those stories can be the perfect thing to say during sex especially if you tailor it to your man. So feel free to jog your his memory.
If it was an especially hot romp, he probably hasn’t forgotten, but you might just remind him of something that’s slipped his mind. The two of you can even try to recreate the moment if you feel up to it.
7. IT DOESN’T NEED TO BE WORDS
When people ask about things to say during sex, they often get caught up on the exact words they should be saying. And trying to come up with something sexy to say when you’re not in a sexy mood can feel pretty silly. It can even feel silly to say it if you’re not used to talking dirty or talking at all during sex. But remember, it doesn’t need to be words. You can simply moan, or moan his name. He won’t mind if your sentence cuts off while you’re moaning. In fact, it’s fun to make your partner moan so they can’t form words and sentences!
The tone of your voice can also make sex hotter and help you feel less self-conscious. Try whispering next to his ear or lowering your voice a bit. A lot of men lower their voice by default during sexy times, and you’ll see why.
TIPS ABOUT TALKING DURING SEX
Want to avoid some of the biggest mistakes when talking during sex? Then keep reading.
- Some people try to sound too “porny” during sex. Remember that porn is fake, and these sort of things will sound fake when coming from you. Your man might feel good, but does he really have the biggest penis in the world? Probably not!
- Baby talk is a risk. Some people find it a turn on, but many find it a turn-off. See where you man stands on it before giving it a whirl.
- Keep it simple. You don’t need to tell a story. A few words or a sentence is typically good enough. Sometimes “Wow!” is all you need. Exclamations such as “Oh God” or “Yes!” are encouraging and simple.
- Say “Thank you.” It’s polite, but it’s also sexy. Those manners work well during power play when you’re submissive, and your man is dominant. Throw in a little begging, and you’re good to go.
- Don’t be afraid to laugh. Sex can be silly and awkward, and if you’re serious about it all the time, you’re missing out on half the fun.
Finally, there’s no right or wrong about what to say during sex. If you’re only comfortable with it being romantic, that’s fine. But some people love being called a slut when they’re in the heat of the moment. You might like to use the word “cunt” during sex but during no other time. People can get a little carried away with dirty talk, so if your man says something in bed that makes you uncomfortable, don’t freak out. Let him know after the fact that you’d rather not hear those things and that you’re open to his own preferences. In fact, if you tell him what to say during sex, that conversation could be great foreplay.
Most people love hearing their partner’s voice during sex, so keep that in mind if you’re feeling apprehension. Your man will likely appreciate your effort, and talking during sex helps keep you grounded and connected. Plus, it might get your man to make more noise during sex, and that’s always hot!