In this guide, I’m going to show you some powerful techniques you can use to learn how to finger yourself and have incredible orgasms. (While guys will also learn a lot from this article too on how to please women, there’s an entire post with advice for guys who finger women!)
I’ve structured the article very carefully so that you get maximum benefit from it. First, I’m going to show you how to get yourself aroused and turned on. Getting aroused is super important if you want to get the most out of these fingering techniques. Then I’m going to show you the techniques themselves. By the way, these are just a few of the fingering techniques I teach. You can learn even more in the article on squirting, this one on masturbation and this other one too.
Ok, let’s jump in…
Getting Aroused, Turned On & In The Mood
I want to cut to the chase and give you the most important things you can do to ‘get in the mood’. Please don’t skip this part. Without getting aroused and turned on first, your orgasms will likely not be as intense, and I’m guessing you want some intense orgasms when figuring out how to finger yourself, right?
Relaxed & Stress-Free – Getting relaxed and being as stress-free as possible is vital. Have you ever noticed that when you’re stressed out and fatigued, it can be hard to get aroused and feel sexy? Scientific research even backs this up.
Privacy – Having some place quiet that you can go to and not be disturbed is key. For most people this will be your bedroom. But if you share your room with someone else, then you may have to use the bathroom or shower as your private place to try these fingering techniques.
Atmosphere – Getting aroused has both a psychological and a physical component. I know that sounded a little ‘scientific’ and not so fun, but it’s true. You need to get your brain turned on as well as your body. To get yourself physically aroused (your body), you’re going to need to touch and caress yourself, specifically your erogenous zones. Even using a vibrator can help.
To get psychologically turned on, there are a lot of things you can do:
- Burn incense
- Light candles
- Watch some porn
- Listen to music
- Read some romance/erotica
Your Heroin – The last and most important thing to consider for getting yourself aroused is what I like to call “your heroin”, and I’m not talking about the hard drug! I’m referring to the one thing that always works for you to get yourself worked up. It could be reading a favorite piece of erotica. It could be thinking of a certain guy or fantasizing about a particular situation that gets you going or it could be something else entirely.
The important thing is discovering it and then using it to help get yourself aroused.
Once you are aroused and turned on, it’s time to begin.
1. How To Finger Yourself – Basic Technique
Quick Note: Make sure to trim and file your fingernails beforehand to prevent any accidents.
Start by lowering your hand from your breasts, down to over your stomach until you can feel your clitoris which is located outside your vaginal opening and just above it  as you can see in the diagram below.
Below your clit, using just one finger, you will be able to feel fleshy folds of skin on either side of your vagina. These are your labia.
To be scientific about it, the outer fold on each side is called the labia majora  which is much bigger, while the inner fold of skin is called the labia minora and is much thinner. Start by lightly trailing a finger or 2 over your labia. Most women will find that as they rub their labia, they naturally start to get wet if they are already turned on. This wetness will act as a lubricant on your finger.
As your finger gets covered in your natural lube, slowly start to press the tip of it in and out of your vagina to check how it feels. As you push your finger in and out, it will get covered in more and more of this lubrication, allowing you to slide your finger deeper and deeper into your vagina. Slowly run the tip of your finger along the walls of your vagina paying attention to what feels most pleasurable.
There’s no single ‘right way’ to finger yourself. What you find most pleasurable will be different to what other people enjoy. So focus on the movements that you find most satisfying and don’t worry too much about being ‘right’.
Many people default to the in-and-out motion because it mimics sex, but this can be irritating rather than pleasurable.
Additionally, it’s not a case of going as deep as possible. Fingering yourself should be about getting as much pleasure as possible. But if you have never fingered yourself before, then it’s a good idea to experiment with how deep you like it.
Now lets learn some more really fun fingering techniques
Quick Note: If you find that you don’t naturally produce much lubrication, then make sure to use a good lubricant like coconut oil.
2. Fingering Your G-Spot
As you push your finger in and out or your vagina, you’ll notice that pressing up against certain parts of your vagina feels really good. If you have slid your hand down your stomach and then started to finger yourself, try curling your finger(s) backwards so that you are pressing against the upper wall of your vagina just like in the diagram below. This is where your G-Spot is located .
You’ll know it when you press and rub it because it feels like the back of your palate in your mouth. Some even describe it as feeling like a wet raspberry. In other words, it feels soft with tiny ridges. Try concentrating on the G-Spot for some really intense orgasms.
There are a number of different G Spot massage techniques to use to make yourself squirt that I cover in the squirting article here. Before continuing on to the more advanced techniques, there are just 2 quick, but important points I need to cover:
1. The G Spot will be impossible to find if you are not turned on. If you’re having trouble finding your G Spot, then check out this article where I explain exactly how to find it.
2. You can see from the diagram how the G-Spot is right beside the bladder. A problem this often causes is the feeling that you need to pee when you stimulate it. So if you feel the need to pee every time you finger yourself and stimulate your G-Spot, then don’t worry, it’s perfectly normal. A great tip that will minimize this ‘needing to pee’ feeling is peeing right before you masturbate. Simple 🙂
Quick Note: You may also get this “I need to pee” feeling during sex if your man is putting a lot of pressure on your G Spot.
Now that we’ve covered the basics, here are 4 specific fingering techniques that you can use to make yourself cum and have a lot of fun.
3. Pressure Pressing Technique
The pressure pressing fingering technique works especially well if you find it difficult to have vaginal & G Spot orgasms. The problem many women face is that they just can’t put enough pressure on their G Spot during sex or when they’re fingering themselves. The solution is simple…you just need to squeeze your G Spot from the other side.
In the illustration above, you can clearly see that it’s a man’s penis inside the vagina instead of your hand. I have done this as it’s a technique you can also use during sex if you have trouble reaching orgasm.
So just finger your G Spot as you normally would and then place your other hand atop your mons pubis, which is just above your pubic bone , as in the illustration above. Then softly push down so that you can feel your G Spot protruding into your vagina more than normal. You’ll notice that this makes it easier to provide yourself with more G Spot stimulation than normal.
4. Fingering From Behind
Another way to finger yourself is from behind. Put your hand down your lower back, over your anus and then into your vagina. Once you enter your vagina, if you curl your finger backwards, this time you will be stimulating the opposite side (posterior wall) of your vagina to your G Spot.
While this technique will give you a different sensation, most women find that it’s nowhere near as satisfying as having your G Spot and A Spot stimulated.
5. Double Your Fun
This last fingering technique is the best if you are someone who normally struggles to reach orgasm when masturbating. It requires the use of both hands.
Your first hand will be fingering your G Spot in the same way as I described earlier while your other hand will be rubbing, massaging & caressing your clit. It’s super simple and makes reaching orgasm inevitable. You can find even more clitoral stimulation techniques in the masturbation techniques chapter and in this chapter on clitoral stimulation.
6. Anal Fingering
If you like anal sex or want to experiment with the pleasures of anal stimulation, then you absolutely need to try anal fingering. This can be so pleasurable because of all the nerve endings in the area  .
A little preparation is needed: So you need to trim and file your nails to prevent any nicks and lubricate your finger(s). You can buy some lube for this or use some saliva instead. Regardless, you’ll want to use something because the anal canal doesn’t self-lubricate .
Once your finger is lubricated, reach behind your back and slowly start to insert your finger. Take it slow at first as your sphincter muscle takes a while to fully relax and allow you to comfortably penetrate yourself. Once inside, you can simply leave your finger inserted or you can thrust it in and out. Try both and see what you prefer.
If you want to add to your pleasure, then try rubbing your clit (learn some great clit techniques here) or fingering your vagina at the same time like in the illustration above. You’ll find that doing this is a little awkward, but it’s easiest to rub your clit and anally finger yourself while lying on your side.
The five previous fingering techniques were all about where to place your hand and fingers when fingering yourself. But for maximum pleasure, you need to think about what the tips of your fingers are doing when you’re fingering yourself. There are three specific movements you can make with the tips of your finger(s) to give yourself different types of sensations when performing any fingering technique. Experiment with each to figure out what you prefer.
Stroke, Stroke, Stroke
Stroking your finger along the wall of your vagina is easy. Start in one spot and then simply drag your finger in a stroking motion. Then bring your finger back to the starting point and repeat. Make sure to experiment with the speed and length of your strokes along with the amount of pressure you apply for maximum satisfaction.
Press The Magic Button
Pressing and holding pressure with your finger on a specific spot can be very enjoyable. This is especially true for areas like your G Spot (find it here) and A Spot (see it’s location here in the first diagram), while pressing other areas may not provide any pleasure at all. Once you find an area that responds well to prolonged pressing, try experimenting by holding the same amount of pressure with the tips of your fingers for a number of seconds. Also, try repeatedly pressing the area like you repeatedly pressing a button.
Give It A Rub
This technique is similar to Stroke, Stroke, Stroke but this time, you will be moving your finger back and forth or in a circular motion, while keeping lots of pressure around that area. Again, the G Spot and A Spot are two very pleasurable areas to focus on, but as I am constantly repeating, experiment and find what is best for you.
Final Thoughts On Fingering Yourself
As you can see from the article, fingering yourself is pretty easy and straightforward. While I have gotten great feedback from those who have tried my eight techniques above, I strongly encourage you to explore and try to find your own favorite techniques for pleasuring yourself with your fingers. After all, everyone is built slightly differently and responds differently to these methods. So have fun and enjoy your orgasms!