Ready for a relationship? You need to get to know a guy first before you consider taking that step.
It’s easy to get to know someone if you know the right questions to ask. The difficult part is knowing what the questions are – and which questions to avoid. But no worries! We’ve put together eight getting to know you questions to help you out.
Some questions you ask are great for getting to know someone if your goal is making a connection. But other questions are more surface level that don’t help you really connect with a guy at all, such as asking how tall he is or what his favorite drink is. Surface level questions are fine if you want to introduce some small talk and not be too intense too quickly. Just recognize them for what they are – flirtation – and don’t confuse them for anything important.
Before you start asking questions to get to know him, keep this advice in mind: Don’t be too focused on only asking questions to find out about him when you first meet a guy. You might come across as too pushy or interview-like if you do. Instead, pepper the questions in your normal conversation, and see whether he bites.
Here are nine getting to know you questions and why they work:
1. DO YOU LIKE YOUR JOB?
This getting to know you question gives you some insight into his personality. If he considers his job a career and loves what he does, you can next find out all about his passion. You can also determine whether he spends too much time on his job to devote time to you.
If he answers that he doesn’t like his job, it would be interesting to find out why he stays at it instead of finding one he likes. Maybe a job is always going to be just that for him — a way to make money and then get away from it as soon as 5 p.m. comes.
Once you get the answer, you need to ask yourself whether you can support his life choice. Being able to support his choices is key to sustaining a relationship.
There’s an important point to keep in mind with this question when getting to know a guy: However much you want to know how much he makes, don’t ask that! It’s too personal, and it gives off the idea that you’re only interested in his money.
2. ARE YOU THE KIND OF GUY WHO SPENDS LOTS OF TIME WITH YOUR FAMILY AND CLOSE FRIENDS?
If you want to be in a relationship with a guy who spends a lot of time with you, will go with you to your family events and will stay around for family time with your own children (if things get that far), you better pick a guy who spends time with his family and close friends, and not one who just says he does.
A good follow-up to this getting to know you question to determine whether he really spends time with his family and friends is to ask what they usually do together. Perhaps a double date is on the horizon!
3. WHAT WOULD YOU CONSIDER A PERFECT DAY?
This question lets you know what he’s into. If he answers “golfing,” for example, and you aren’t a golfer and have no intention of becoming one, you need to be OK with spending some weekend days alone. This gives you time to spend with the girls, anyway!
If he says he likes sleeping in and then grabbing something to eat and maybe taking in a movie, and if that’s what you also like to do, this might be a sign of a good match.
4. WHAT CHARACTER TRAIT IN A PERSON TURNS YOU OFF MOST?
This question to get to know someone lets you know something about his values. What he dislikes about another shows you what he does value in a person. He might not mention all his turn ons, especially if he thinks they’re weird. Learn about what turns men on in this post.
5. WHAT’S THE MOST DIFFICULT THING YOU’VE EVER DONE?
This question lets you know what he finds challenging. Maybe you don’t consider what he thinks was difficult to be that hard, or maybe you do. It’s interesting to see whether what he considers difficult is something mentally, emotionally or physically challenging.
6. DO YOU TEND TO CHOOSE IMPULSIVELY OR CAREFULLY?
Impulsiveness could indicate that he’s good at thinking on his feet, takes advantage of opportunities that come up and makes quick decisions. Too much impulsiveness, however, could indicate that he’s sensation seeking and might not manage responsibilities well. It could also be a sign of stess or something else if he’s too impulsive. More on that here.
Making careful and well-thought-out decisions is usually a good trait. If taken to an extreme, though, it could indicate a somewhat boring and rigid personality.
7. DO YOU SPEAK EASILY TO STRANGERS OR FIND LITTLE TO SAY?
This tells you whether he’s an introvert or an extrovert. Introverts need time alone to recharge. They lose energy after engaging with people after a while and find small talk that you might have with strangers extra draining. Extroverts gain energy from being with people and love to be social. Extroverts typically speak easily to strangers.
It might be harder to tell if he likes you if he’s shy or an introvert.
8. WHAT ARE SOME OF YOUR FAVORITE MOVIES?
This tells you about his taste and even why he enjoys movies. Does he only like action/adventure movies, or does he like heavy films? This question also gives you something to talk about. You can find out the reason he liked certain movies.
Getting to know you questions can help you connect with a guy quickly. Asking them to someone you might want to get serious about is a great way to find out whether the two of you might be compatible to marry in the future. Just remember not to be too intense with these questions too soon by asking them all at once. You don’t want to turn a dating situation into an interview!