You might associate lap dances with strip clubs and late nights, but that doesn’t have to be the case. Men like a little spice, even in long-term relationships, and giving a good lap dance to the guy you love can be an excellent way to show him how you feel and bring a little sparkle to his eye.
Of course, you can’t very well deliver if you don’t know how to give a lap dance, which is why we’re going to talk about the ins and outs of actually giving him a lap dance in this article. Below, we’ll cover the basics, including how to bring up the subject with your guy, how to practice and what to wear, among other details.
Keep in mind that the finished effect will either be sexy or bumbling, depending on how much time you devote to getting it right beforehand. If you want to give a good lap dance, don’t rush the process. Instead, follow these steps and you’ll do great.
1. What to Wear
When giving him a lap dance, one of the most effective moves is to remove clothing as you go along. This not only ups the ante little by little, but gives you an opportunity to do something a bit different every once in a while, removing various bits of clothing in lieu of dance moves … or better yet, turning the removal of clothing into dance moves.
Wear layers so you can strip down. Of course, you can’t be dressed like you’re heading out into the Alaskan wilderness when you start, but there are ways to layer up without looking bulky or silly. For instance, you can wear a bra, a camisole and a sheer blouse on top, perhaps embellished with a feather boa. On bottom, you might consider wearing thong underwear, tiny skintight shorts and a skirt over them. That gives you several pieces to play with, which can really help heighten the effect of the dance overall.
2. Practicing Your Skills Beforehand
If you don’t know how to give a lap dance, this party won’t go very far, now will it? So the first thing you have to do is learn how. This is easily achieved just by watching YouTube, but if you need some additional inspiration from an expert, Carmen Electra has some great videos. Important moves to master are circling the chair, climbing onto his lap, and dipping down and back up. Of course, there are many others, but these will make a great foundational repertoire.
Remember to play up your assets. If you’re small-chested but have a really nice behind, make sure that faces him for at least part of the dance, and run your hands over it lightly. If your breasts are your best feature, make sure they’re front and center.
However, you shouldn’t worry too much about your body. If you need a confidence boost, then check out tips to love your body.
3. How to Suggest Giving Him a Lap Dance
One of the key ingredients in a good lap dance is a lack of awkwardness. If things feel bizarre or weird between the two of you, it won’t be very much fun for anyone, now will it? That means that the way in which you bring up the subject has to be casual, calm and naughty. A little shyness is fine, but if you lack confidence, so will he. When suggesting the dance, put on a playful or rowdy face. Be coy, inviting him “into your chambers,” or to “step into your office.” Maybe turn it into a role play scene. Make it fun, and be confident.
4. Spice Things Up
Unlike girls who give lap dances in strip clubs, you’re actually at liberty to touch and take things further (lap dances work well for sex!). Lucky for both of you, right? Instead of keeping the requisite distance between the two of you, sprinkle a few extra moves into your lap dance, stroking your hand down his chest or up his legs, kissing him on the lips or the neck, and making full contact once in a while.
Check out this post about foreplay for more ideas. Of particular notice is dry humping, which is essentially what a lap dance is! Of course, you’re free to do even more than that if you want (wink, wink), but pulling away once in a while can heighten the anticipation.
Keep in mind, though, that the no touching rule can actually make things even more exciting in some cases. If you want to go this route, just tell him at the start of the dance (in your sultriest voice, of course) that he better keep his hands off you or you’ll call your manager. Then, whenever he makes a grab for you, simply take his hands and pin them over his head or behind his back, or make him sit on them. If you’re feeling especially frisky and want to break a few rules, slap some handcuffs on him to include elements of light bondage.
5. Making It Complicated or Simple
This really depends on you and your man. If you have a dance background or gymnastic moves, complicated might just suit you. If you’re like most of us, however, simple is probably more your jam. In that case, go with it. Slow and sexy is perfect for lap dancing.
6. Which Music to Play
Marvin Gaye comes to mind as the typical lap dance music, and while “Let’s Get It On” certainly sends a pretty clear message, there are plenty of other choices out there as well. Think some Usher, which has a faster beat but still contains plenty of innuendo. If you want to move a little bit more slowly, there’s a whole world of R & B for you to explore. And you can always let your own tastes as a couple dictate what you like: anything with a decently slow, slinky beat will do the trick. This post has more more ideas for sexy music, and these songs are great for lap dances specifically!
Remember to practice your lap dance with the music you choose. If all you do is practice along with videos, your timing might be off when you play the music you’ve compiled. Speaking of compilations, make sure the songs you pick transition smoothly from one to the next, without weird interruptions that could throw off your mojo.
7. Design a Good Build Up
One of the most important components of giving him a lap dance is a good buildup. You can’t just dive straight into a bunch of grinding and hope it will be sexy. Similarly, feather light touches and a little bit of wiggling does not an entire lap dance make. Instead, you have to escalate the action all the way throughout.
The best way to ensure you’re building during the whole dance is to design a routine beforehand. Mix and match your moves so that you’re always going a bit further as each minute ticks into the next. Of course, it’s okay to occasionally back off or slow it down, but the overall feeling should be of rising action. Think of a book or a movie: in general, each “scene” should be a little more intense than the last. A little sexier, a little closer, a littler more risqué.
8. Calm Your Nerves Beforehand
Sure, a little bit of nervousness is cute, but if your bashfulness makes you unable to, you know, perform, then what’s the point? If you find yourself too shy to truly make it happen without some help, have a drink or two beforehand. In fact, a night when both of you are having a few glasses of wine (such as a holiday or anniversary, when you’re likely to be celebrating already) can be perfect, because your man will lose his initial inhibitions as well.
See? Giving a lap dance isn’t as hard as you think it is, provided you take the time to practice and set everything up beforehand. Not only is it totally doable, giving him a lap dance can make your relationship a lot more fun and bring you closer to one another.
Consider saving this surprise for a special occasion, like his birthday, a holiday or your anniversary. It will have a lot more impact if he doesn’t know about it beforehand, so don’t tell him you’re practicing or even hint at the surprise. Instead, whip it out at a totally unexpected moment and watch his eyes shine!