The idea of denying an orgasm sounds like it doesn’t mesh with sexual pleasure or fun, so why would someone be into orgasm denial? This kink is actually pretty common, however. Discover how denying or delaying an orgasm can lead to a bigger payoff in the end!
Orgasm Denial? What the Heck Is That?
Orgasm denial is a type of sex game that falls under the umbrella of orgasm control. In short, you’re not allowed to orgasm, either at all, for a specified period or until you complete a task. Orgasm denial can be a solo feat (it’s one way to stop yourself from masturbating so much), but it also works well with partners.
At first, denying yourself orgasm might sound weird. Why wouldn’t you want to get off? But putting off orgasm can create sexual chemistry and result in better orgasms when you finally are able to come. It can be hot to be in control of someone’s orgasm, which includes telling them not to come (even if you’re doing things that feel really good) and telling them when they finally can come. Handing over that control to a dominant partner and being submissive to them is also arousing.
Both men and women can experience orgasm denial, the main types of which are:
- Complete denial: no orgasm is given, and no sexual activities or masturbation are permitted.
- Tease and denial: teasing brings you close to orgasm, but you can’t cum until permitted.
- Ruined orgasm: when orgasm is imminent, something is done to stop it or make it less satisfying.
Is Orgasm Denial BDSM?
If you enjoy kinky sex and think that orgasm denial would work perfectly for your BDSM games, you’re absolutely right! A ruined orgasm might be punishment for a submissive partner who didn’t do something to your liking. Or you might be the submissive person who is rewarded with an orgasm for performing beautifully.
Some dominants use orgasm denial or tease & denial games to remind the submissive who is in charge and “owns” their body.
Many kinksters enjoy the devices that aid orgasm denial. Modern chastity belts and devices – in the form of cock cages for men – can seem like torture implements. However, they’re meant to be more annoying and frustrating than painful. We’ll touch on those in just a bit.
But you don’t necessarily have to be kinky or into BDSM to enjoy orgasm denial or ruined orgasms. You don’t need other tools or elements of domination and submission to enjoy orgasm denial in the bedroom.