The recipe for amazing sex is one that’s easily altered to account for personal tastes and abilities. This is the exact reason why you may have had mind-blowing sex with some partners over the course of your life and also why you may not have enjoyed sex with others much at all.
With this in mind, we’ve curated some of the best tips and tricks to have amazing sex time and again. The result is a “recipe” for sex that neither you nor your man will ever forget! Add a little – or a lot – of each of these things to ensure amazing sex. You can thank us later!
1. Knowledge of Your Own Body
Too many women have sex just because it makes them feel needed in the moment. Their sexual escapades begin and end with vaginal penetration, and their partner’s orgasm is the only thing that seems to matter. However, this is a limited view of sex, and it’s unlikely to lead to the amazing sex you deserve.
A woman who doesn’t know her own sexual desires, turn-ons and needs isn’t going to have amazing sex. You’ll discover this as you gain more sexual experience, but if you’re not invested in your own pleasure, you may wind up with a lackluster sex life when you could have been having amazing sex this entire time!
It’s easy to get to know your own body with self-exploration. You can use your hands or a sex toy. Do it in the shower or tub or from the comfort of your own bed. Turn on some music, read some erotica or play some porn in the background. Read up on anatomy if you’re not sure where to stimulate yourself for the biggest payoff.
When you know what you like, you can show your man. He’ll be impressed and be able to please you better, which definitely strokes his ego. Plus, learning about your body shows you how amazing and capable it is of experiencing pleasure, which can help you to get over some of your body issues and sexual anxiety. Confidence is always a factor of great sex!
2. The Right Techniques
Have you ever had an amazing lover? He probably blew your mind with some techniques that make your toes curl just thinking about them! But skill at sex isn’t really something you’re born with. It’s something that’s learned through experience, and you can also improve your technique through the very site you are reading now.
Below you’ll find a brief rundown of sex techniques that can provide sex that’s amazing!
- Kissing is often a predecessor to sex. So learn all about using your mouth and tongue like a pro here. You can elicit a sexy response by kissing any of your man’s erogenous zones. Remember that a steamy makeout session can be as hot as sex itself.
- Sensual massage can help the stress melt right out of your body and help you feel more connected with your partner.
- Blowjobs feel amazing for your man, who also gets a great view of you pleasuring him. You don’t have to deep throat every time, either (but if you want to, then you may want to use these tips!). Use your hands to make it easier (tips here). Fondle his balls or add prostate stimulation (tips & techniques here) to up the ante, too. Plus, oral sex and direct clitoral stimulation (tips here) are almost always necessary for women to get off, so he should return the favor!
- Handjobs can often seem awkward to women, but your man will appreciate the effort. From using both hands to trying techniques such as gently stroking him with a featherlight touch, there’s lots of variations to try.
- Different sex positions provide sexy views, facilitate anal exploration and make G-spot stimulation better. Over 100 sex positions are listed here!
This doesn’t mean that you use every technique every time, either. Switch it up so both of you will be pleasantly surprised and your sex life doesn’t become routine. Having different techniques in your toolbox means you’ll never run out of options.
Remember that we can only teach you so much about technique. You or your man might like something we haven’t covered or even something that isn’t considered typical. For example, we would advise to be careful with teeth when performing oral on your man, but some men like the feel of teeth gently scraping against their penis or a little nibbling on their balls.
Pay close attention to your man’s responses, which may not be verbal. Listen for moans and the way he breathes. Notice whether he tenses his body, moves it away from you or positions himself closer to you. Of course, there’s nothing wrong with the direct approach, and our post about sexual communication will teach you how to talk to your man so you both get what you need.
3. The Right Ambiance
There are those who think that all sex should be spontaneous and romantic, but this fairy-tale ideology doesn’t make sense in our modern lives. People are busier than ever. We’re more stressed than our parents were. And because of technology, we’re truly always at the demand of others. Where’s the time for spontaneous sex? Who even has the energy for it?
Don’t get us wrong. We’ve got nothing against spontaneous sex at the Bad Girls Bible. A quickie can make amazing sex. But don’t think that sex will always play out like that. Sometimes it needs planning. Otherwise, you might find yourself having gone weeks or even months without touching your man intimately, even if you’ve got a high sex drive and you’re incredibly attracted to him. So ditch the mindset that planning sex is “wrong.”
In fact, planning sex can not only get your juices flowing if you feel disinterested in it for a while, but it can also ensure that you get as close to amazing sex as you ever will. Looking for some ideas to plan your best sex yet? We’ve got plenty!
- Add sexy lighting with candles or by dimming the lights. A scarf tossed over a lamp can create quite the effect!
- Burn scented candles so your bedroom smells amazing. Spritz the air with freshener and mist your sheets and pillows so they smell good, too.
- Put on a sexy playlist or pop in a CD with some great sex songs. Choose a sassy R&B song or a new-age tune if you’d rather something more mellow. We’ve got ideas for your sexy playlist here.
- Pick out lingerie and perhaps shoes that make you look hot and feel confident. Check out this guide to choosing lingerie to help you get started.
You can meet him at the door when he comes home from work as a surprise, or you can let him know what’s in store, which leads us to the next ingredient in this recipe for amazing sex!
4. Sexual Tension
Remember when you first met your man? Even if you had sex on the first date – read why this can be both a good and bad idea – there was some time where you dreamed of having sex with him. You imagined what it would be like to have his hands on your skin, to press your bodies together and to kiss passionately. It made your heart beat faster just to think about it. And when you finally had sex? I’m guessing the wait made it far more intense.
You can build sexual tension in a variety of ways, from letting your man know you’re going to fuck his brains out later, to sending sex messages or photos throughout the day and using suggestive language and actions. Sexual tension often plays a crucial role in long-distance relationships and when you might be separated for work or family reasons.
Even if you have a good sex life, you can prolong the building up of sexual tension through the day (or days) leading up to sex. Then, take things slow by incorporating plenty of foreplay before you get down to penetration. Or leave him wanting more before he gets his. It’ll definitely keep you in his thoughts and have him coming back for more.
We’ve got even more tips and tricks to building sexual tension in this post.
5. A Strong Connection with Your Partner
Perhaps the most important aspect needed to have amazing sex is to have a strong connection with your partner. Many people say that being in love makes the sex they’re having the best they’ve ever had. This connection can make up for gaps in preferences and sex drive and help you to overcome issues with logistics or technique. Knowing that you’re safe and loved by your man can also make it easier to feel comfortable about your body and ask for what it is you need in bed.
We’re not saying that you can’t have amazing no-strings-attached or casual sex, but being in love with the person you’re having sex with adds an element that’s powerful. However, a strong connection doesn’t just happen. It takes hard work, and you’ve got to make it a habit so you’ll stay close and connected to your man. This can help you have a longer and healthier relationship, and it can decrease the chances of either of you straying or divorce.
When you’re beginning a relationship, make sure to get to know each other well. Nip problems such as trust issues in the bud before they have a chance to ruin your love. A relationship doesn’t have to have a specific issue for that connection to weaken, either.
Make sure to spend a little time with each other every day. Check in and be a good listener. Physical contact like cuddling and hugging is important to keep you bonded, even if you’re not having sex. Brush up on your communication skills and minimize unproductive fighting. Take the time to show and tell him that you love him.
Of course, just because you’re in love with your man doesn’t mean you’ll have amazing sex. You might be here because you have strong feelings for your man, but your sex life could use a little boost, especially if you’re been together for years. That’s why we offer advice about trying anal sex, adding people into the bedroom and trying BDSM basics to add to your already great sex life!
Pick and choose what appeals to you. Or keep things simple. When you have intense sexual chemistry with a guy, even missionary style can be amazing!