It’s so exciting when you’ve got a new potential partner. Whether you’ve just spotted him across the bar and made eye contact or you’ve been building sexual tension for weeks over text, you want him inside you sooner rather than later. But sometimes reality hits and your bodies aren’t as ideal for one another as they could be. Sometimes this means his penis is smaller than you’d like, and other times it means you’re dealing with a dick too big and you don’t know what to do about it!
Despite what romance books and rom-coms would have us believe, not everyone fits well together. Height and weight are two of the more obvious factors but penis size and, to a lesser extent, stretchability of your vagina also play an important role. Of course, it’s frustrating if you’re met with pain and not pleasure with a new partner, but it doesn’t have to be a deal breaker!
DICK TOO BIG? WHAT’S THAT MEAN, ANYWAY?
If you’ve ever had sex with someone whose length meant your cervix was pummeled or whose girth made you feel like you were being stretchy in a totally unpleasant way, then you know a penis can be too big. But what does that mean in terms of actual size? Of course, everyone will vary, and you need to understand how the vagina works to answer this question.
The vagina is a potential space. Like a balloon, it’s flat when empty. But when you add something — a penis, a toy or even a tampon — it balloons out to accommodate that object. The vaginal canal is between 3 and 4 inches long (which is why sticking to G-spot stimulation works so well when he is smaller), so you don’t need a huge penis to feel full, but the balloon effect means you certainly can take something larger. Source.
The sex position you’re into can also come into effect. Any position where your legs are closed, like spooning, will make him feel larger. This is great if he’s on the smaller size, but not so awesome when it comes to a dick that’s too big!
MAKING A BIG DICK WORK
Don’t think that you have to break up or forego sex just because his penis is too big. Here are some steps to make it work!
- Make sure you engage in plenty of foreplay. This gets you loosened up and wetter. Dry hump, make out, give one another a sensual massage and more.
- Warm up with fingers or toys. This further loosens up your PC muscles.
- Ensure you’re absolutely turned on. If you’re feeling pressured to have sex or just not in the mood, stick to other activities (more on that later).
- Know your cycle. Closer to your period, your cervix is lower and tougher, which can make sex more uncomfortable should he hit your cervix.
- Use plenty of lube! Water- or silicone-based options are condom compatible. They make things feel smoother but also prevent tiny tears, which can lead to infection. Lube is also especially important for anal sex because your butt doesn’t produce its own!
- Tell him not to thrust all the way. If your partner is thrusting too far and causing discomfort, let him know! One of you can wrap your fingers around the base of his cock to prevent deep penetration.
- Take control! You can hop on top of your man to control the depth, angle and speed of thrusting to get it just right. Boost your confidence with this advice.
Any combination of these things might work for you and your partner, so give them a try tonight!
OPTIONS WHEN YOU’RE DEALING WITH A PENIS THAT’S TOO BIG
Maybe you’re just not turned enough, have no lube or your cycle just doesn’t work for sex tonight. What can do you? There are plenty of alternatives.
- Oral sex: You go down on him and he returns the favor. The 69 position is great for this. Check out this post if you want information on how to blow his mind with your oral skills.
- Manual sex: If you become a pro at the hand job, he won’t mind if you’re not having penetrative sex all the time. And lots of women love when a guy knows how to use his hands and fingers to get them off!
- Mutual masturbation: It’s hot when you both take care of yourselves and get to watch the other. It can feed into your exhibitionist streak, and you can even get things started earlier in the day by sending a few sexy pictures!
- Dry humping: So many women love pressure down there that it’s a shame society thinks this is something only for teenagers in the backseat of a car. But it can be a great way to get clitoral stimulation so you can orgasm. Plus, you can do it fully clothed, in your underwear or in the buff. Just imagine his hard cock rubbing against your clit and vulva.
- Sex toys: We love sex toys. They reduce stress and strain on your hands, have helped many women cum for the first time along with making it easier for you to cum in general. They’re also a good substitute when you can’t have PIV sex. Find a bullet vibrator for clitoral stimulation or a nice dildo to stroke your G-spot. You can use it or let your man use it on you! Not sure where to start? Read this list of best sex toys.
Of course, there are tons of other things you can do, so don’t let yourself be limited to these ideas.
TOO BIG FOR CONDOMS
Sometimes a guy who has a big penis might be too big for standard condoms, which is a serious issue when it comes to being a responsible and sexually active bad girl! Condoms help prevent pregnancy and protect you from a variety of STIs. Read more about this here.
Regular sized condoms might be too small for some guys, and this runs the risk of it breaking, which isn’t much good at all. Fortunately, all the major and minor condom companies create larger sized condoms. This includes Trojan Magnums and the XL and XXL condoms from Durex. It’s smart for you to have both options on hand. If you put the condom on your man — instructions in this post — you might even find that he’s exaggerated by saying his penis is too big.
However, the truth is that these condoms are just a bit larger than typical condoms, mostly to appease the male ego. No man is so large that he can’t wear a condom. After all, you can stretch them over the human head and watermelons. So if a guy tries to argue with you, let him know you’re only down with having safe sex.
Another option is the female condom, which actually sits inside the vagina and tends to be baggier than male condoms. With the female condom, you won’t run into the problems with his dick being too big
Finally, you should consider using another form of birth control if condoms don’t work — because of an allergy, for example. You can even use condoms and hormonal birth control such as the pill to double up.
ONE WARNING ABOUT LARGE PENISES
One thing you might not realize is that having sex with a well-endowed partner can lead to more urinary tract infections because more bacteria are being introduced to your urethra. If you notice having sex with your man leads to more UTIs, you might try using a condom to make things more hygienic. You’ll also want to avoid activities such as sex in water and make sure you thoroughly clean your toys before and after use.
Remaining hydrated and peeing after sex may also help, but you may need to talk to your doctor about other solutions if the problem persists. Learn more about preventing urinary tract infections here.
So don’t worry if his penis is too big. You can take your time and work your way up to it, or you can remain sexually intimate by engaging in other fun activities.