Your vagina and clitoris are so different from your partner’s penis that it’s unlikely you haven’t at least considered the question, “What does sex feel like for my partner?” 

You may have even asked the same question of your female friends, only to find out that some of them prefer clitoral stimulation to internal stimulation or vice-versa. It’s amazing how sex can feel so different for people, even those who have the same reproductive organs.

However, the differences in the way we experience sex can lead to an amazing sex life or to one where you never quite feel fulfilled.


There’s an old adage about how a man should look for a woman whose personality is good because “every woman has a vagina.” While every woman is more unique than the cliché suggests, there is a kernel truth to the saying. The basic sensation from the movement of a penis thrusting inside the vagina tends to feel similar to both genders, pleasurable.

However, women might experience more variety depending upon the technique and build of their partners as well as the position used. By the way, you’ll find over 100 different positions to try here.

One aspect that really affect how sex feels for a woman is how ‘wet’ or lubricated you are. If you aren’t particularly wet when you’re man is thrusting, then it’s going to be quite painful, where it feels more like your man is giving you an Indian burn than having sex with you. When you are adequately lubricated, it will feel much more pleasurable. However, some women have reported that it’s not particularly enjoyable if they are excessively wet, due to a lack of friction.

But while most men might jump directly to the thrusting, that’s not the only part – or even the most important part – of sexual activity for many women. Few women have ever complained that their partners liked foreplay too much; although, you’ve probably heard all of your friends complain when their husbands or boyfriends ignored their sexual needs to focus instead on achieving his orgasm. 


Why is orgasm such an important part of sex anyway? It all goes back to what sex feels like for women. In short, foreplay including fingering and playing with toys, often helps to relax a woman’s body. An orgasm or two before the main dish is the perfect way to make insertion and thrusting more comfortable.

Furthermore, many women can feel too objectified when their partners rush to penetration. Instead, some people wish to feel connection to their partners, and foreplay can foster that sense of intimacy. In short, sex will feel better to most people after foreplay.

Extended foreplay also has the benefit of moving closer to orgasm aside from being just pleasurable. If your partner times it right, he may be able to bring you to the brink of orgasm through oral or manual stimulation so you can cum after he penetrates you with his cock. 

Of course, there’s nothing wrong with reaching orgasm during sex through your own initiative.

A lack of foreplay isn’t the only reason why sex might feel less awesome than it could (or should) feel! Sex may be less enjoyable to a woman because she feels nervous due to reasons such as it being her first time or the first time with a new partner.

Furthermore, a woman who isn’t attracted to her partner mentally or physically may not enjoy it as much. Of course, any woman who feels pressured into having sex will enjoy it less than sex where she definitely wants it.

Too often, women find themselves in these situations, which leads to less enjoyable sex. However, it’s important to distinguish between the answers to the questions “What does sex feel like?” and “What does sex feel like with the wrong partner and/or without foreplay?”.

However,  not every woman is lucky enough to have a partner who understands her needs. Similarly, your partner may not realize that you don’t like what he’s doing if you’re not vocal about it in an obvious way, which is why communication is so important to your sex life.

This is especially true when you are having sex with a new partner and if either of you are inexperienced. He may not realize what it is that you need, and you may not know how to ask for it. If your partner has had a lot of sex with a previous partner, he may default to what these previous partners liked even if you don’t like it.


So what does sex feel like for a woman who isn’t enjoying herself? It’s uncomfortable and sometimes painful when a partner is too rough or goes too deep. It can feel like nothing at all when a man misses the G-spot or pays too little attention to the clitoris. It may simply be boring, or it can be sexually frustrating for a woman who’s partner isn’t stimulating her correctly.

However, men can take cues from their partners to improve their performance. Women who aren’t enjoying sex sometimes just grimace and bear it until their man finishes, sometimes even faking their own orgasm without saying a word. However, this doesn’t teach your partner what you like and can build habits that become difficult if not impossible to correct in the future. It’s also potentially hurtful for your partner to realize that you haven’t been enjoying yourself for months or even years.

It can be easy for a man to mistake his partner’s uncomfortable moans with ones that are pleasurable. Thankfully some verbal communication can help a man become a better lover, and it doesn’t even have to be very direct guidance either. An “Mmm, yes” when he does the right thing or a general instruction – harder, softer, deeper, higher – can direct your lover to do exactly what you need and build to your orgasm.


Although these efforts are guided toward making sex feel better through orgasm, learning to orgasm is easier for some women than others. You might not find the buildup pleasurable, or you might find the pressure is stronger than the release. The fluctuations of your PC muscles during orgasm might not feel as good as you expected.

Most pornography tends to show toe-curling orgasms, but yours might be less outwardly impressive despite feeling just as good, or maybe it just feels “just ok” or maybe it feels better than you can possibly imagine. That’s why it’s so difficult to give you an answer to what sex feels like. There are just so many factors to making it feel good…as well as making it feel bad.

Similarly, your biggest pleasure might be feeling your partner orgasm, especially when he’s inside of you. And there’s nothing wrong with that! Depending on your level of sensitivity, you may be able to feel the pulsation of his cock in addition to his boy becoming rigid before relaxing after orgasm. If you’re not using condoms, you may be able to feel his cum filling you during the fact, and you’ll definitely feel it after he pulls out.

The sensation of making your partner achieve such pleasure is one of the best in the world, which is why it’s so important to listen to pay attention to one another’s bodies, listen to audible cues and communicate with your partner both before and after sex. It’s often difficult to reach the ultimate level of pleasure with a guy when you don’t trust each other or know each other well enough to communicate effectively.

In fact, this might be why so many people – both men and women – report high satisfaction with their sex lives when they’re fooling around with long-term partners. 

When you have a partner who cares enough to ask you how sex feels for you, rather than just focusing on his own pleasure, you’re got one of the crucial ingredients for an amazing sex life! You may be able to encourage thoughtful behavior from a new partner, but you shouldn’t settle for anything less than the best when it comes to sex!

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