Erotic Massage 101: Sensual Massage Techniques

Whether you incorporate sensual massages as part of foreplay with your man or you simply enjoy making him feel good, you’re bound to feel relaxed and connected. Plus, you know your lover’s preferences, so you cater it to him personally. And who doesn’t like receiving a massage, too?

in a spa

Unlike the massage you would pay a professional for, it’s okay to get a little frisky with this type of massage. When you’re on the receiving end, you don’t have to worry about a stranger seeing you in various states of disarray or the sounds you might make when you’re enjoying yourself. Sensual massages at home mean you don’t have to worry about your body’s response, which may even be arousal, so you can be completely at ease.

Sensual Massage Technique for Total Relaxation

Sensual massage works well with the ancient Hindu teachings of Tantra. Read more about that here. As you progress through massaging each part of your partner’s body, you can remind him to feel the energy, or chi, moving throughout his body. Imagine that you’re transferring your own energy to him and receiving his in return, completing the circle of energy.

Use your voice in a calm, meditative way to guide him through the process. Alternatively, you can set the mood with new age style music playing in the background.

Consider adding scented candles or incense to help set the mood. You can dim the lights or even toss a colored scarf over a lamp to help create the scene you want. Don’t forget about temperature, too! A room that’s too cold isn’t relaxing, even if it might be a good idea to lower the temperature a few degrees before you crawl into bed. More on that in this post.

Choose a product to keep your massage slick. Silicone lube – more on that here – works well for a massage product, but water-based will get sticky as you rub. You can also use coconut oil or another natural oil, which will moisturize both your skin and his as you massage. Warming oils add another sensation, as do those that cool when you blow on them. Finally, flavored massage oils allow you to massage your man with your tongue, a powerful and agile muscle. That’s one reason why blowjobs feel so good.

Include the Entire Body in Sensual Massage

You may be tempted to stimulate your partner’s erogenous zones right away, but that may not be the way to go. A slow and sensuous massage that builds up can lead to amazing sex as well as relaxation for your body. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t incorporate genitals, but you’ll get to them later.

One place we’d like to recommend is the scalp massage. The head and scalp are often forgotten, but some of the best sensual massage techniques you’ll read about focus above the shoulders. Perhaps this is why so many people report pleasure from getting a shampoo at the salon, even if it’s not meant to feel like a massage!

Run your fingers through his hair if it’s long enough. Gently tug a bit from the roots! Rub your fingertips in small circles simultaneously. You can easily do this while he’s sitting in front of you or lying with his head in your lap.

From there. move down to his neck and shoulders. When you’re behind him, you can rub the back and sides of his neck before moving to his shoulders. Here, you’ll use a full hand on each shoulder to massage the skin under your hands. Use your thumbs to pinpoint stimulation against his shoulder blades. Spend ten to fifteen minutes on each part of the body before moving on to the next.

As you move down his back, you can massage his arms if they’re at his sides. Otherwise, you can gently take each arm and massage the length of it. Gently knead the back of his hand with your knuckles and don’t forget about the fingers, either. Gently twist each finger in your closed fist.

Have him lie on his stomach so you can massage his butt and the back of his thighs. Hold your hands like you would when massaging someone’s shoulders with your thumbs pointing inward. This sensual massage technique allows you to run your hands up or down his legs (or arms) and apply as much pressure as you need. Move your hands to his buttocks and you can lightly pinch the flesh using a similar hand shape. Consider massaging his anus or giving him a prostate massage (details here) if you think he’ll like it.

You’ll be able to repeat many of the same massage techniques as you used on his arms on his legs, but you may also be able to apply more pressure because legs tend to be thicker and have more muscle. Move down to his feet. Rub the balls of his feet, the heels and the ankles. He’ll especially like this if he’s on his feet for work all day. Foot fetishists might also like tickling, nibbling and sucking. More on that here.

When you finally do get to your man’s penis and testicles, don’t start with quick movements just yet. Continue the massage with long, luxurious strokes. Use our advice to give a good handjob, but don’t focus on the goal of making him cum. Instead, add plenty of lube or massage oil to your palms as you stroke him.

Don’t just focus on his cock, however. Gently massage his testicles, move outward along his inner thighs. Alternate your explicit touching with a more sensual massage technique to keep things interesting. If you’re interested in edging – read more in this post – then you can bring him just to the brink of orgasm and back of several times before finally allowing him to cum.

Look Ma, No Hands!

Sensual massage techniques don’t just need to use your hands, either. Blow your breath coolly over his skin with your lips pursed or sigh out breath for hot hair. Drag your hair across his skin if it’s long enough to do so. Your man will love feeling your soft breasts dragging against his chest or back.

You can also grab a few implements that might feel good. A fur flogger works beautifully for this, while you can grab a soft blanket or silk shirt, too. Think of things in your house with different textures that you can use to give your man a sensual massage! What about a glass dildo, which you can warm or cool with water? Ice cubes will make his nipples stand at attention, or you can buy hot stones to warm up his pressure points.

Fire Cupping: A Sensual Massage Technique?

If you’re interested in trying something different to add to your sensual massage, you might try cupping. Cupping is an ancient technique that is sometimes used to help improve overall health, much like acupuncture. In modern days, cupping can be used as part of massage, and some kinksters even like it with their BDSM.

Traditional cupping relies on fire to create suction between a part of the body – typically the back – and a small glass, bamboo or ceramic cup or jar. The suction pulls the skin into the cup, which should remain in place for up to twenty minutes. A little pressure releases the seal and pops the cup off without any harm.

Follow these instructions to try cupping:

  1. Rest the hand that will hold the cup on your partner’s back. The closer you are, the more likely you’ll achieve proper suction.
  2. Hold a piece of cotton with a pair of tweezers or tongs in the other hand. Alternatively, a long match will do, but it won’t burn for as long.
  3. Light the cotton/match and move it into the cup for just a few seconds.
  4. Safely pull the cotton out of the cup and press it against your partner’s back.

If done properly, a seal will form. If there’s no seal, you may be holding the cup too far away from your partner’s skin. Be prepared for a little bit of a sooty mess. But don’t worry, it’ll wash right off!

You can use small mason jars or even a drinking glass for cupping. The smaller the container, the more you can fit. Many practitioners arrange the cups in a grid of 3×4 cups.

Alternatively, sex toy makers sell suction-powered cups that require no fire. You place these cups on your partner’s back and use a hand pump to create suction or the same effect. This method takes a bit more time, but is generally safer.

Improving Your Sensual Massage Technique

No one is expecting you to be an expert in sensual massage techniques if you haven’t gone to school for it. With that said, a massage can be uncomfortable or even harmful if you don’t do it right. When giving sensual massages, stick to the places where there is plenty of muscle rather than learner parts of the body where you’ll make contact with the bones. These meaty parts are perfect for kneading with your knuckles, and you can lean in with your own body weight for a more effective sensual massage.

Secondly, the best way to improve your sensual massage technique is to ask your partner what he likes. If you’re not sure how to go about it – or if you’re in the receiving end and have some constructive criticism – check out this guide to sexual communication.

Aside from verbal cues, pay attention to your partner’s body. Does he tense up because you’re being too rough? A sharp intake of breath may mean that you’ve hurt him. If he’s silent, it could be a sign that he’s just waiting for the “sensual massage” to finish because he’s really not into it. Although, some people are simply quiet, so this may not be the case. Happy sighs and soft moans are a sign you’re on the right track, however!

The sensual massage techniques that your partner likes might differ from what you like or what previous partners preferred, which is why communication is so important.  You may have to alter a sensual massage technique because of scar tissue, injuries or even where he’s ticklish, and that’s okay.

It’s truly not the mechanics of giving a massage that matter as much as spending time with your man. When your hands are on each other, you share a literal connection. This can be erotic foreplay or can serve as an intimate act all on its own when you need to reconnect and relax.

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