Hey Ladies….you aren’t the only one who loves sensual sex. You know, the kind of love making that lasts a long, long time. Cosmopolitan magazine surveyed thousands of men and found that while most men do crave quickies, 65 percent want to play with and explore their woman for 45 minutes or longer.

Sure guys like to have fast and furious hot, hot sex. And it is fun to have sex in public places or other locales where risk is a factor. But, slow moving and super sensual sex can make your man really appreciate you. You might be the very first woman to show him just how much fun the slow way can be. But even if you’re not his first, you can make it an unforgettable night for him.

I am also pretty positive that he will never turn you down when you tell him you want sex…fast or slow. Even if your man is a freak for fast, he is not going to say no to sex just because it’s not the usual fast way.

You may be nervous about planning a sensual sex encounter with your man. It may be new for you to be the party planner but never fear, with these sure fire tips, you will be an expert in no time. It will work better if you start building his enthusiasm early in the day


Text messaging is the easiest way to start building his anticipation. Start early in the day and send naughty texts like:

  • I have a little plan for us tonight.
  • If I were there right now, I would crawl under your desk and….
  • I wish I could feel your mouth on me.
  • I can’t wait until you get home.
  • I am so worked up right now, I can’t wait to get my hands on you later.

If you want more great sexy text message ideas to send your man, then check out this detailed guide here.


Starting with something as simple as opening the windows for a few minutes to bring in fresh air and clear out any stale smells is great. Even though it might seem lame and cliché, fresh flowers and candles in the bedroom drip with romance. So do fresh sheets on the bed. You might want to try a little sprinkle of baby powder between the sheets… .feels wonderful on bare skin for when things heat up later.

The biggest challenge when it comes to introducing your man to sensual sex is to control the timing. Girl, you are going to have him begging for you to go down on him and believe me, you will be ready too.


Be strong and remember your goal is slow and you want to make him wait as long as you can. He’ll thank you in the end.

An easy way to control the timing is with a great massage. If it is not natural for you to give a massage, never fear, I’ll show you how to give him an easy massage as part of the build up to having sensual sex later in the article.

If you two are music fans, you might want to create a playlist specially for the occasion. Mix it up a little and surprise him. Here’s a great tip: If you can find out what year he graduated from high school and throw in a couple of romantic ones from that year, you will make him melt.


A big part of having sensual sex with your man is showing him how much you care. A great way to do this in a sexy, hot way is by taking a shower with him and washing. Here’s how to do it:

When he gets home, have the shower running and yourself in it. Leave him a note on the front door and tell him to meet you there.

When he steps in, have him turn around and after lathering up your hands, slather the foam on his back and slide your hands up on either side of his spine and just into his hairline. Use your fingernails and ever so lightly, run them down the outside of his arms and then bring them back to repeat the motion up his back.


To set him up for your shared sensual sex experience, all you need is his blessing to be the orchestrator of the event. A sure fire trick is to ask it this way,

Be sure to reward his answer by doing something like pressing your breasts against his back and sliding them against his skin.

Have him stretch his arms above his head and put them on the shower wall. Soap him up from top to bottom letting your hands reach around to the front of him and then tell him that you have every intention of giving his lower regions 100% of your attention. But remember, you need to stay in control, so let him know that it’s not going to happen until you choose to make it happen. By the way, if you’d like to learn some really powerful blow job techniques to use on your man, you might want to check out the oral sex section here.

says Ian Kerner, Ph.D., author of Passionista. Once you have felt him up from head to toe, tell him it’s your turn and then turn toward the wall and put your hands up on the tiles.

Have fun as he returns the favor. And if needs be, guide his hands to where they need to be.

If he gets frisky, remind him that you are in charge and take that cue to rinse off and send him on ahead of you to lay on the bed belly down and tell him that you will be there in a minute. Remember all this anticipation is the secret sauce of slow sensual sex.


Climb up on him and sitting on his thighs, lean forward and press your breasts into his back.

Purr and whisper something dirty into his ear like…

Sit up and grab the warm massage oil you have placed on the bed side table. (Hint: Put your bottle of oil in a mug of hot water before the massage.)

Apply some massage oil to your hands and rub them together. Begin by gently squeezing the muscles between his neck and his shoulders. Knead the tightness with your fingers and lean forward and kiss the back of his neck. Smoothe some massage oil on his back and with both hands and fingers close together slowly slide your hands all the way down his back and then back up to the nape of his neck.

This technique is super easy but very pleasurable. If you vary the speed of your strokes, spread your fingers apart to give a different sensation or even use your fingernails to lightly scratch his skin to knock him out with pleasure. From there, begin massaging him with long sensual figure eight strokes that expand over his entire back. From his bum to the nape of his neck, crossing in the center of his back, vary your strokes from hard to barely there. Once again use your fingernails to lightly scratch his skin.


By this time, he will probably be pretty much begging you to touch, taste and squeeze his penis, testicles and more. Tell him it is time to turn over and just in case he wants to pull you in to kiss you, this is where you tease and reassure him that you can’t wait to explore him with your mouth, all of him, and that it will be very worth the wait. Once you get him belly up, use these ten tips to turn him into a sensual sex fan for life:

  1. Start With Simple Touching –Once again, sit on his upper thighs so that his penis is in front of you. Tell him to put his hands behind his head. Maintain eye contact with him and starting at his collar bones, lightly draw your fingertips down the center of his chest all the way to the tip of his penis and then away toward his hip bones. Repeat 4 or 5 times.
  2. Move On To Sensual Kissing –Lean forward so that your breasts skim his belly and chest and kiss him. Lightly at first and then open your mouth and invite him in by touching his lips or tongue with your tongue. Because you are on top, you can control the pressure of the kiss. Back off and then lean back in. Vary the pressure and explore him with your mouth.
  3. Heat It Up –As you are kissing him, slowly…oh so slowly….bring your hand down his chest and over his belly until you are next to his penis. Very slowly reach for his balls and brush across them gently with your fingertips. Then circle back up until your hand is on his face. Hold his cheek in your hand and run your thumb along his jaw line.
  4. Check In & Ask What He Wants –Ask him, “What do you want, baby?”Repeat back to him whatever he says. Reassure him that you want that too. Continue to make out with him. Kiss, nibble and taste him. Ask him if he wants you to go down on him or does he want to be inside you. Remember, you are in charge.
  5. Or…Decide What YouWant –He may be so enthralled and turned on that he doesn’t know what he wants and he asks you what you want, well…depending on what you want, keep making out and making him wait until you are panting with desire and want him more than anything. At this point, you might be like me and be super hungry to go down on him. Follow that inner leading and go for it using the following techniques
  6. Kissing From The Top Down –Start kissing down his chest. Circle each nipple with kisses and then lick and suck a bit on him. Come back to his center and draw a line with your tongue down over his chest and belly until you get just close enough to his penis that he whimpers in pleasure. Then of course, repeat, each time a bit slower than before. Finish by kissing the tip of his penis softly.
  7. Almost Time To Blow –Lift yourself off of him and ask him to open his legs. Settle back, kneeling now and once again reach up toward his chest and allow your nipples to brush his skin gently. On your way back down, lay your head on his lower belly so that your cheek is right next to his cock.
  8. Hold Him –Tell him that you love laying here like this. Tell him that you can’t wait to get his cock into your mouth. Then reach over and take it in your hands. Begin to stroke him with your fingers…very lightly and then hold him with a strong hand and feel his strength and hardness. Tell him you love him like this…hard and excited.
  9. Finger Lickin’ Good –Lean down and lick him from top to bottom. Make him slippery and it will be easy to slide your hand around the base. Use your other hand to cup his balls and ever so gently massage them with your fingers. If you hold the base of his penis while you are sliding your mouth over him, he can’t go in too deep.
  10. Blow By Blow –Swirl your tongue around the tip and twist your hand around the base of his penis and enjoy his going wild under your touch. At last you can ravish him. Run your tongue along the ridge of skin and suck on the ridge gently. If he gets dry, lick him again, like a popsicle, long and slow. Follow his lead now, give him what he needs. He has been a good boy and deserves to finish strong 🙂

For more tips on what to do when you actually start giving him head, you may be interesting in the bj section here, these different oral sex positions or even this blow job tutorial video.


After pleasuring him with everything you have and he is laying weak and panting, it is very important that you oh so carefully pull your mouth away from his penis. He may be very sensitive and any touch at all can be uncomfortable for a few minutes.

Just pull out and lay your head on his lower belly, while allowing him to enjoy and think about what just happened. After he recovers then it’s your turn, (but that’s a story for another time.) You may find that sensual sex is best when you take turns with your man, first one is the pleaser and then the other gives it a whirl, so to speak. And don’t forget, that we’ve really only talked about having sensual oral sex today, there are tons of sex positions you can use too (there are over 110 here, with professional photographs demonstrating each one!).

Sensual sex is a natural way to pamper and pleasure your lover. I hope I have convinced you to give it a try and better yet, put it on you and your lovers sexual menu and serve often. Please feel free to leave a comment and let us know if you love sensual sex too!

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