Have you ever heard the saying that men want a “lady in the streets and a freak in the sheets”? It seems like men want a freaky woman, and men who have those women are likely to brag about it! But if you don’t necessarily consider yourself a freak, the entire idea might be intimidating.
But if you can get over whatever’s holding you back, you might be surprised to learn how being a freak in bed can lead to better sex and a hotter relationship!
HOW TO BE A FREAK IN BED
As you can probably guess, there’s no single way how to be a freak in bed. Some people think anal sex is freaky, but you don’t necessarily need to be into anal to be a freak. In fact, it’s less about the specific acts and more about your attitude toward sexploration!
1. BE OPEN TO SUGGESTION
Your man wants to have sex in the car or kitchen? He wants to add toys. Perhaps he suggested the two of you watch porn together. All of those things can seem pretty freaky if you’re a do-it-in-the-bedroom-before-bedtime person. However, being open to suggestion is the first step to being freaky in bed.
2. ENJOY SEX FOR YOURSELF
If you’re always down to try something new but only because your man wants to, neither of you will get as much out of sex as you can. It’s good to be willing and game, but if you’re not really enjoying sex, it can feel like it’s fake or all for show, and no one wants that.
So learn to enjoy sex for yourself. You might not like everything you try, but most women can usually find something to enjoy during sex whether it’s the joy of being looked at, clitoral stimulation, oral sex or fantasizing in their heads.
3. …AND MAKE YOUR OWN SUGGESTIONS
Don’t just leave it to him to spice things up or initiate sex. Take the reigns yourself! Let your man know some freaky sex ideas you’d like to try, even if it seems a little out there. Chances are, he’ll think it’s hot that you’re contributing and will love seeing you so turned on when you do try it.
Talking about sex can be difficult, so check out our guide to sexual communication to get it right.
5. HAVE CONFIDENCE
Everyone has hangups about their sexuality. Perhaps you’re worried that your tummy is too round or that you don’t sound “hot enough” during sex. Your man is probably worried about the size of his penis and whether he can keep it up, even if he’s never had complaints in that department.
So take a deep breath and recognize that your flaws are magnified only to you and that you’re desirable. If that’s not enough, learn how to get over sexual anxiety once and for all. Otherwise, you probably won’t be game to try new things, and you’ll never learn how to be a freak in bed.
6. GET OUT OF YOUR ROUTINE
As we’ve mentioned, a routine isn’t exactly good for a freaky sex life. In fact, some people might consider routine the antithesis of freaky sex. There are no rules about how to get out of a routine. Just make sure you’re having sex at different times and different places.
Try a variety of positions. Chances are you’ll realize how often you have sex in the same way and at the same time, especially if you’ve been having sex with the same person for some time, as you try to break the routine. Sex probably starts in a predictable manner, too. Initiate sex in a different way than you always do, which leads us to our next point.
7. INITIATE SEX
Men often complain that women never initiate sex. This makes them feel less desirable. You probably think your man is super sexy and are worried about how you look or feel, whether he wants sex and not embarrassing yourself. But once you get over all those things and initiate sex, your man will be surprised, and you’ll feel powerful.
FREAKY SEX IDEAS TO GET YOU STARTED
If you’re open to being freaky in bed but aren’t exactly sure what to do, we have a couple of ideas for you.
1. ANAL PLAY
There are a bunch of options when it comes to butt play and being freaky in bed. You might think of anal sex right away (and you’ve got to read our tips for making the first time great), but you can try anal fingering with your partner or by yourself. Plus, rimming is a super freaky thing that some people like.
2 PROSTATE PLAY
If your man is freaky, too, then you’ve got to try this. He can learn how to become multiply orgasmic and experience more intense orgasms through prostate play. Discover six tips for giving an amazing prostate massage here.
BDSM stands for bondage, discipline, sadism and masochism. The umbrella term covers a lot, and we mean a lot, of activities that most people consider freaky! We’ve already talked about BDSM and all it entails several times on the Bad Girls Bible, so check out the following articles if you want to know more.
- BDSM for Beginners
- 6 Wild BDSM Games
- How Bondage Leads to Kinkier Sex
- 10 Femdom Ideas to Dominate Your Man
There’s always something new to try with BDSM if you really want to know how to be a freak in bed!
4. ROLE PLAYING
Role playing can be part of BDSM, but you can also try it without any bondage or domination games at all! Think of a hot role such as teacher or student. If you’re already becoming aroused, then you’re well on your way to being freaky in bed!
5. SEX IN PUBLIC
Many people who enjoy sex in public are at least a little freaky. There’s something about knowing others can (or could possibly) see or hear you that makes the sex so much hotter.
We do caution against doing anything that could get you arrested and definitely avoid areas where children are! If you’d like to try sex in public with less risk, discover how to have incredible sex outside.
6. THREESOMES, SWINGING AND GROUP SEX
Not every relationship is ideal for adding people, but the right relationships can flourish by increasing the number of people in the bedroom! There are a few things you can consider:
- Swinging is when you swap partners. Learn more here.
- Group sex or orgies involve multiple people.
- Threesomes can be tricky to organize (read more in this post) but can be well worth it.
Before you attempt any of these situations, you should have a strong relationship. Adding people is not a way to fix your relationship, and you should have a handle on any jealousy.
Edging is a fun and freaky way to have better orgasms. It involves getting yourself or your partner to the brink of orgasm then backing off. You repeat this as long as you’d like (or can!) until you have one explosive orgasm.
If this sounds like something you’re into, read more about edging.
8. PHONE/CYBER SEX
You might already be familiar with having sex over the phone or computer if you’re in a long-distance relationship. These activities help you to remain sexually intimate even when you can’t be physically intimate. But both of these activities are also great if you’re interested in being freaky in bed!
These two freaky sexy ideas make things hot. Even if you’re in the other room, you can send a steamy message for your man. Or you can leave a voicemail when he’s in the shower. Consider calling him up before you go to bed. Masturbating while he’s on the other end of the line is hot and can even help you sleep better. Adding video via webcam can feel incredibly intimate – and freaky!
Learn how to have steamy phone sex in this guide to get started.
9. BITING AND SCRATCHING
Biting and scratching are the tenets of rough sex. Leaving a mark can be so satisfying as can looking at a bruise or scratch on your own skin and remembering what you did (or had done to you!) to get it. Get 7 ideas for rough sex if you want to learn how to be a freak in bed.
This item on our list of freaky sex ideas is often accompanied by other aspects of BDSM, but it certainly doesn’t have to be. If you’re willing to bare your ass and have it spanked (or to do some spanking yourself), then there are plenty of options to consider.
- Spanking is something most people have tried, and it requires no extra toys.
- Whips are single-tail sex toys that pack quite the punch.
- Floggers have multiple tails, come in a variety of materials and can be used at your preferred intensity level.
- Paddles may be leather or fur-covered and can even leave a design on your butt after use!
- Slappers are paddles with an extra layer that provides a secondary bite!
11. TALK DIRTY
Dirty talking is something that makes many people feel anxious, but it can also really enhance the moment. Rest assured that you don’t need to scream “Call me a whore!” (unless you want to, of course).
Instead, you can work your way up by telling your man what feels good, what you’ve been thinking about and missing and what you’d like him to do to you or vice versa.
Now you’ve got plenty of ideas on how to be a freak in bed. Proceed with enthusiasm, but remember that you don’t need to do everything, every time you have sex. In fact, if you try to do it that way, it might seem like you’re completing a checklist rather than enjoying sex.
But if you explore your sexuality with confidence and creativity, both you and your man will benefit from the effort.