We certainly seem to love people who can be charming. After all, we call our perfect fairy-tale man “Prince Charming”! In fact, women often seem impressed when a man they’re flirting with seems to be charming. So why wouldn’t you want to be charming yourself to help snag a man? Plus, people who research how to be charming have a better chance of winning over coworkers and (potential) bosses, new business clients, the parents and families of their partners and anyone else who they might want to impress!
Look no further than this post because we have tons of ideas that will help you learn how to be charming!
1. REMEMBER AND USE THEIR NAME
Studies show that using a person’s name activates certain parts of their brain, and it certainly makes them feel good. So make sure to recall a person’s name. If you need help remembering a person’s name, make sure to say it when you first meet them. Make eye contact and smile as you shake their hand and say “Hi [Name], it’s nice to meet you.” Studies suggest this helps you remember names too. Plus, the slightly-more-formal greeting will be charming when you meet people for the first time.
Then, continue to use the person’s name naturally during conversation. The catch is to use it in a natural manner and not to be so repetitious as to make this person feel awkward. Use their name when saying “Hello” or “Good bye” or when trying to get their attention in a group but not in every sentence!
2. COMPLIMENT THEM
Who doesn’t love to hear a compliment? Guys love when you compliment them! Pay someone a compliment in a genuine way and you will seem effortlessly charming. For example, if someone is good with computers, has an eye for fashion or was able to fix a situation that arose, let them know that you appreciate how good they are at a specific task. It doesn’t have to be a big deal, either. A kind word in passing might even be easier for people to bite down if they’re shy or a little self-conscious. Don’t put someone in the spotlight if you know it’ll make them feel uncomfortable.
Complimenting a person, even if it happens when they’re not around ties into the idea of the 5 Love Languages, a book and ideology by Gary Chapman. Some people are especially receptive to receiving “words of affirmation,” and word will spread when you talk highly of a person. This will make the person you’re complimenting feel happy while making you be charming!
Complimenting can also work with someone whom you don’t know very well if you pay attention to them. It makes you feel like old friends, and assuming a rapport with someone, even if you just met, helps put you at ease and seem more charming. In fact, you’ll seem more charming to your peers when you’re kind to the wait staff at a restaurant!
3. BITE YOUR TONGUE BEFORE YOU CRITICIZE
Now, there are times when you might need to offer constructive criticisms, and they are times when you should hold off. If you’re in a public place, you shouldn’t criticize or insult a person within earshot of others. If there’s something you absolutely must do, wait until a moment when you’re alone with this person.
But, really, can it wait? Or do you need to say it at all? Do you need to correct someone just to be right? Will it matter if they make a mistake that’s not corrected in the moment or, perhaps, at all? Not only will you come across as more charming when you’re not a critical or nagging person, but you’ll probably feel better letting it go, too! After all, no one is perfect, especially not you! It’s completely charming to be able to admit to your faults and not to have a big head.
The people who are seen as the most charming try to agree as much as possible. This doesn’t mean you should be a pushover – guys even like a woman with an opinion! – But you should learn how to disagree politely and when disagreement isn’t worth the hassle.
4. REMAIN POSITIVE
Life sure does throw us a lot of curve balls, but it’s important to remain positive for a ton of reasons. It helps you get over heartbreak, for example. It gives you something to look forward to and helps you get out of bed in the morning. It also makes you a more pleasurable person to be around, which definitely increases how charming you are to others! Some people seem to naturally be more positive than others, and it’s difficult to shed bad habits if you’ve been a negative person. Negative influences from close friends and family members also add to the difficulty of shedding negative vibes. But learning to be positive isn’t impossible!
Start by looking for a good thing in the world every day, no matter how small. Then, think of a potentially good thing that can happen in the next day or week, no matter how small. Make a list of things to be grateful for. If you’re reading this article, chances are you have access to technology and information that other people don’t and didn’t in the past. That’s a pretty good place to start!
If you’re hard-pressed to find even a single good thing about our life, it might be time to make some changes. Consider cutting out toxic people, ending a bad relationship or switching locations or jobs to make it easier to be more positive.
5. STAY AWAY FROM THE GOSSIP
If you want to be charming, you don’t want to gossip. Not only does it come across as snobby and small-minded, but it might make other people wonder what you say about them when they’re back is turned. This will negate any progress you’ve made by being complimentary, and will make you seem like you’re not genuine or even a downright liar!
Because gossip almost seems to be contagious in certain groups, you might find yourself slipping into this habit whenever you’re around people who are notorious for talking about others. It may help to limit the time you spend with people like that. Surely there’s a better use for your time? Perhaps you could use your downtime to read or do something else instead of gossiping.
Or you could use the time to talk about things more important or significant than what the Joneses are doing. If you’re well read and keep up with the news, you’ll always have something to talk about. Not only will it keep you away from gossip and help you to be charming, but it will also make you look knowledgeable.
6. LEARN HOW TO HOLD A CONVERSATION
If you want to be charming, then you’ll need to know how to have an engaging conversation. This means both being a good listener, which is something that everyone appreciates, and knowing how to contribute to a conversation so it doesn’t lead to awkward pauses. Don’t just wait for your turn to reply, and don’t let your gaze wander or focus on your phone when you’re talking to someone else. They’ll notice your eyes are glazing over!
7. USE TOUCH CORRECTLY
Another way to be charming, which works well when flirting, is to use appropriate touch. Lean into them, mirror their stance and energy, face people when you’re talking to them and use other body language to be charming. If you’re talking about a man, you can lightly touch his shoulder or arm when laughing to show him you’re interested.
8. BE YOURSELF
While you might think that you’ll need to pretend you’re someone else if you want to know how to be charming, this isn’t true at all! Be silly, dorky, awkward or even a little vulnerable if that’s who you truly are. Other people will appreciate these things about you, especially men! Did you ever wonder why guys seem to like shy girls or even dorky girls? There’s a certain charm to those characteristics.
Be charming and aware of your behavior. Be you because no one else can! And that’s what people will like about you. You won’t have to toot your own horn because your charming personality will say it all! Just don’t be fake because people will realize it, and that’s often more offensive than not being charming at all.
One of the commonalities between all these characteristics is being able to soften your personality so you’re likable no matter what the situation is. Be upbeat, attentive, kind and the type of person you’d want to be around to meet guys and make new friends. And remember, you don’t need to be charming all the time. When you’re with your husband or boyfriend, close friends or family, you can let go because those people already know how likable you are!