Committed relationships, with their safety and routines, are satisfying for many people. Others crave a little spark on the side. For those that need more excitement than their long-term relationship offers, cheating opens up a world of passion and adventure. But, indulging in that thrill means balancing both a boyfriend and a side man, without getting caught.
Everyone has an opinion on whether or not cheating it acceptable. However, this isn’t meant to be a discussion of morals. There are plenty of spots to look for information and opinions on that aspect of cheating. Instead, this article is for those who have already begun an affair or decided to try out cheating on their boyfriend. Even when you are drawn to the thrill and frenzy of an affair, learning how to cheat on your boyfriend without getting caught, can be confusing and scary.
Luckily, you aren’t the first try out cheating on your boyfriend and there are strategies for getting away with it.
How to be discreet with electronics and social media
Don’t be overly protective of your phone: Your mobile device may be a minefield of evidence and, if you are cheating on your boyfriend, your natural inclination may be to keep your phone away from him at all costs. However, hiding and acting shady about your electronics may be a bigger tip off than anything lurking within the device.
If you’ve typically been someone who leaves their phone laying about, or lets your boyfriend use it, you’ll need to keep that up if you wish to avoid suspicion. Since you can’t afford to be overly protective of your phone, you’ll need to include a few strategies for dealing with digital evidence in your plan for how to cheat on your boyfriend.
Use a private messaging app: Lovely-dovey, or erotic, text messages are a dead giveaway that you are cheating on your boyfriend. Instead of using the standard texting system, keep messages confined to a private messaging app. Download an app, such as Cover Me, that allows you to send-destructing texts, keep secret contacts and make hidden phone calls. Make this type of app the one way you contact your side man.
Delete, delete, delete: One of the most important things to do when figuring out how to cheat on your man is to delete all the digital evidence. Call logs, text messages and browser histories can all tattle on you if you don’t clear them. However, don’t go crazy and give yourself a completely clean slate. Nobody has an empty call or browser history. Wiping everything can actually make you look more guilty, so only delete the incriminating pieces.
Do not take that selfie: You might want to capture your stolen day together, but the memories will have to be enough. There are plenty of things that can make a man wonder if you are cheating on him, but there are few pieces of evidence as concrete as a photograph. Banish cameras during your time together. Even if you don’t pose for a snapshot together, a landscape photo or a pic of the fancy restaurant you ate at while you were supposed to be working late could raise red flags.
Set up appropriate call times: Glancing at your ringing phone and then letting it go to voicemail can look shady, as can leaving your ringer off all the time. To avoid letting your current man know you are cheating on him, set up rules for phone calls with your side man. Be sure he knows what the safe times to call are and try not to look too guilty every time your phone rings.
How to act around your boyfriend
Don’t stop having sex with your boyfriend: Many women don’t like the idea having sex with their boyfriend while they are cheating on him with someone else. But, if you completely curtail intimacy, he will probably realize you are getting your desires met somewhere else. You might be able to use an excuse, or just say no, occasionally, but there’s only so many times you can claim a headache or your period before he becomes concerned and suspicious. To keep him from finding out, you may need to keep having sex with your boyfriend, at least once in while.
Stick to your routine: Big changes in your day-to-day routine are usually a telltale sign that you are cheating on your man. He’ll probably notice if you suddenly start rushing out the door an hour earlier in the morning, coming home late every night and scheduling lots of solo time on the weekend. You’ll probably be looking for opportunities to squeeze in a rendezvous with your lover, but keep your schedule the same as much as possible.
Along the same line, don’t start making drastic changes to your appearance and habits. If you suddenly start dressing sexier and primping more than normal, your boyfriend may start to wonder who you are trying to impress.
Have an alibi: Even if you stick closely to your normal schedule, there will probably come a time when you need an excuse for your absence. It’s better to concoct your alibi in advance, each time you meet up with your side man, than to have to think of something on the spot if your boyfriend asks. Try to use alibis that involve activities that you normally participate in, such as your weekly yoga class or monthly girl’s night.
Aside from alibis for the time you spend with your side man, you may need to cover for other things as well. Even if you are careful, things are bound to slip once in awhile, like smeared lipstick, a lost earring or his jacket in your car. Consider what you will say when to cover your tracks on whatever comes up. Alibis and allies go hand in hand, so consider telling just one trusted person who can help validate a story in dire situation.
Keep up with your lies: Cheating on your current man will probably including lots of fibs, half-truths and outright lies. As you are figuring out how to cheat, think about how to keep up all the lies you will tell so that you don’t get caught changing stories. Try to include a bit of truth in every lie so that it is more believable and easier to remember. Also, try to keep your stories simple. Basic lies leave less room for error, so don’t go into details unless you absolutely must.
If you need a way to keep up with your alibi for where you were when you were actually cheating on your man, try adding your fictitious appointment to your calendar. Not only will it be there if he looks, it will remind you of the story you told.
Don’t be defensive: When you are trying to figure out how to cheat on your man, you may find yourself feeling on edge and testy. Sometimes, feeling guilty can lead to acting guilty. Don’t feel that you need to go on the defensive all the time. If you are careful to cover your tracks, assume that your boyfriend does not know you are cheating on him. Most of the time, asking questions about where you have been or other changes is just a normal part of conversation. If you assume everything is an accusation, you may overreact.
However, if your current man does accuse you of cheating on him, try to laugh it off and make a joke out of it. If you become defensive, or try to justify your actions with more lies, you may end up looking even guiltier.
How to behave with your side man
Don’t let your appearance give you away: Before you head home to your current man, be sure to redress carefully and freshen your appearance. It’s not enough to toss your clothes back on. Mussed hair, smeared lipstick, messy makeup and wrinkled outfits can all raise eyebrows. If you want to get away with cheating on your boyfriend, attention to detail counts. So, be sure to wash you side man’s scent off of you, especially if you have been intimate, and tidy up your appearance.
But, it’s a fine line to walk. If your alibi is that you worked late at the office, you probably shouldn’t stroll in freshly showered with pristine hair and makeup. Get rid of the evidence, but make it believable.
Use condoms and prevent STDs: Safe sex is even more important when you are trying to figure out how to cheat on your boyfriend. Even if you use birth control, condoms should still be part of the equation every time you pop into bed with your side man. But, don’t let protection be the thing that gives you away either. Keep track of condoms and don’t leave them anywhere, such as your purse, car, makeup bag or pockets, that your boyfriend could stumble across them.
Use the same brand of condoms with both of your lovers. That way, if you do leave one laying around, it won’t be as alarming.
Learn more about condom use.
Don’t leave evidence on your body: During the pique of passion, it can be difficult to pull back the reins. But, getting too carried away may leave marks on your body. When you are cheating on your current man, be sure to avoid any love bites, scratches or bruises from your side man. You aren’t likely to pull off wearing a scarf to hide the evidence, so you’ll both need to have enough self-control to prevent leaving marks. This may mean no rough sex!
Don’t blab to anyone: Cheating on your boyfriend is a huge secret to keep. You’ll probably be tempted to confide in your best friend, or to spill to your entire circle over a bottle of wine. But, this is one secret to keep a lid on. News like this travels fast and every person you tell greatly increases the chance that it will get back to your boyfriend. Besides, having a secret can be hotter, so look at it as a way to amp up the excitement.
Know when to break it off: You probably aren’t dreaming of happily-ever-after with the guy you are cheating on your boyfriend with, so be smart about breaking it off when it’s time. Assuming you are just in it for fun, cut your ties when either of you starts getting in too deep. If you, or him, develops real feelings, there is bound to be a broken heart at the end of the story. One night stands might be a safer option.
You should also break it off as soon as your current boyfriend starts getting suspicious. Once those doubts creep in, they usually just grow. If your plans for how to cheat on your boyfriend are starting to fall apart, it’s time to get out. The other sign that it’s time to call it off with your side man is when he starts dismissing the rules of the relationship. If he starts calling at inappropriate times, showing up uninvited, or telling people about your relationship, it’s time to end it before he blows your cover.
Though cheating on your boyfriend can provide an intoxicating amount of passion and adventure, it can also cause angst and uncertainty. Eventually, the stress of trying to figure out how to cheat on your man without getting caught may spill over into every part of your life. As lies pile up and the details get harder to manage, your efforts to cover it all up may end up making your cheating even more obvious. Ultimately, cheating isn’t for everyone. If you have a difficult time managing stressful situations, feel uncomfortable with lying or are prone to feelings of guilt, cheating on your man may not be for you, despite the thrill it provides.