“Love at first sight” can happen, and it does happen for many people. We have an intuitive skill, which some people use more than others do, to immediately tell whether another person will make a good partner. In fact, we can usually tell within the first three minutes of a conversation whether a person is right for us or not, and much less time (a split second) to determine whether we find someone physically attractive.
Here’s what people mean by the term: Love at first sight, many believe, is a spiritual mystery—being united with someone, possibly from a former lifetime. Meeting your soul mate on Earth might be a reunion of sorts.
If this experience happens to you, however, you might not know at the time that you are both in love. But something happens between the two of you that causes you both to take the time to get to know one another, and then true love can develop from that.
True love takes time to cultivate. When there is true love, there are qualities on both your parts such as loyalty, trustworthiness, and caring. When there is true love, you are both concerned about the other’s welfare and happiness, and you want what’s best for the other. More about that here. Some people have a gut reaction that the person they see at first sight will have all the qualities, and the relationship will develop into true love.
You can feel as if you’re experiencing love at first sight for many reasons:
- You have a preferred type, and he fits the bill
- He’s absolutely gorgeous
- You saw him doing something awesome, such as looking after a child or helping an elderly person master a skill
Here are some of the reasons love at first sight is the real deal:
HE’S THE TYPE OF GUY YOU LIKE
This is where the chemistry part of love at first sight comes into play. Sexual attraction has to exist when you experience love at first sight. Although sexual attraction is not the only part of the equation, it plays a role in the overall experience of love at first sight. So attraction needs to be there. And this attraction doesn’t have to mean that the person is what society deems as attractive; it’s what you find attractive.
YOU OBSERVE HIM DOING SOMETHING YOU FIND INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE
Love at first sight usually implies that you both see each other and have an immediate awakening, a spark, which makes you both want to find out more about each other. When you observe a guy from afar doing something you find attractive, such as being gentle with a child, closing a business deal, or singing a song in just the right way, you might feel as if you love or could love him. But you might not love him.
While it’s necessary to like his personality to have love at first sight, this alone is not typically what’s meant by love at first sight. You need to also feel as if he has feelings for you, too, which you cannot do from observing him from afar. He might already be involved with someone, or he might not feel that same way about you. If you can introduce yourself to this guy, you might find he’s available and interested in you too.
HE’S NOT ACTIVELY TRYING TO IMPRESS YOU
Although he’s not trying to impress you, just by being himself impresses you big time. If you both had chemistry, you probably wanted to take that initial sighting further by getting to know each other. If you naturally still feel attracted to him, your initial love-struck sighting could turn into a happy relationship. He doesn’t have to work to impress you, and you don’t have to change the person you are around him. It just works.
YOU’RE READY FOR LOVE
Sometimes people believe they experience love at first sight because they’re ready for love and are actively looking for it. You might feel love, and maybe he doesn’t. That doesn’t mean it won’t work out. If you’re persistent and patient, he might see what you saw at first sight, and you might start a relationship and find that you truly are the loves of each other’s lives.
Love at first sight does not, however, always turn out to be true love. Here are some reasons why love at first sight can be false:
IT CAN BE VERY SUPERFICIAL
Love at first sight is superficial when you see someone, deem him as being hot, and want him sexually. In this instance, you might have confused wanting him sexually with love. You have one of the ingredients of love here, sexual attraction, but if that is the only feeling you’re experiencing, you probably aren’t experiencing love at first sight. You can possibly have a fun sexual relationship with this guy, but if that’s the only thing you’re relationship is based on, it will be a very superficial relationship. Without true love, it likely won’t last.
YOU SEE ONLY A SMALL SEGMENT OF HIS PERSONALITY
People sometimes want to be in love so badly that they see only what they wish to see. This perhaps explains the reason many women are married to criminals who commit terrible crimes. These women might suspect what’s going on, but they wish to focus only on what they want to know. You might not be in a situation that dire, but if you and your man don’t share core beliefs, you can only go so far in a relationship, and the question of whether you’re truly in love remains if you don’t see the whole person.
FIRST LOOKS CAN BE DECEIVING
Although the phrases “looks can be deceiving” or “you can’t judge a book by its cover” have become clichés, people continue to judge people by first looks. You probably realize that a hot guy could be an abuser – read more about that – or he could be a volunteer at a homeless shelter. You can’t tell just by his looks. Although, in defense of judging someone by their looks, the way people present themselves can offer a clue to the type of person they are. If they smoke, you learn something about what they think of their health, for example. But oftentimes, that first impression isn’t necessarily accurate.
There is a partial truth to love at first sight. After all, there’s some chemistry going on there, which you need to have in a healthy relationship. In some people, romantic love, just like the sex drive, can trigger immediately—from first sight.
Don’t fight the feeling. If you have it, it’s meaningful, and you owe it to yourself to experience it and to examine whether this truly is love.
Once you start to get to know this person, you can determine whether his morals are the same as yours, whether he makes you laugh, and even whether you like his tone of voice and the way he smells.
But just because you experience love at first sight doesn’t mean the relationship will necessarily work out. Once you get to know the person, you might discover he’s not the right one for you.
If the love at first sight relationship does work out, though, you have a great story to tell your children and your grandchildren.