This page will teach you how to give head and finish your blow job with style.
You can skip down this page to the 15 techniques for giving your man head and making him cum like a fountain by clicking here, or you can keep reading to learn about the important aspects of your man’s physiology which will help you give him incredible orgasmic pleasure.
1. So Sensitive
Men and women both have something in common that they never talk about…the tip of his penis, the glans  is very similar to the exposed part of your clitoris, the clitoral glans . It’s super sensitive and packed with nerve endings.
This similarly continues when you or your man is close to orgasm. Here’s why:
As you get closer and closer to orgasm, your clitoris becomes increasingly sensitive until you reach orgasm, at which point your clitoris usually becomes too sensitive to touch. Then after orgasm, your clitoris will usually remain too sensitive to touch for a few minutes.
This time when your clitoris is too sensitive to touch is called the “refractory period” and has been documented by researchers to happen to 96% of women . So if your husband has been rubbing your clit, bringing you to orgasm, you may have noticed how painful it is if he keeps vigorously rubbing it during and after orgasm. It’s pretty painful, and I’m guessing you pushed his hand away for a moment due to the sensitivity, right?
The funny thing is that the top of your man’s dick, his glans is similar to your clit. As he gets closer and closer to cumming, the tip of his penis gets increasingly sensitive. Then as he starts to orgasm it will become almost painful if you keep stimulating it heavily. If you do keep stimulating it intensely, then don’t be surprised if your man tries to stop you. Then after his orgasm, he will enter a refractory period where his penis will remain supersensitive [4, 5, 6].
Understanding this is vital to bear in mind to give good head to your boyfriend. As he reaches orgasm, the top of his penis is naturally going to become hypersensitive. If you keep massaging and rubbing it vigorously, then you’re going to make him uncomfortable and will ruin his orgasm.
Equally, if you take his cock out of your mouth and stop stimulating it altogether, you are also going to ruin his orgasm. He still needs a tiny amount of stimulation.
The Solution – As your man climaxes and starts to ejaculate, slow everything right down to a snail’s pace so that you are softly licking, kissing, and caressing his penis with your tongue, lips and mouth. Slowing right down to a snail’s pace is the best way to guarantee that his orgasm is super powerful…and NOT painful. The people who give good head understand this fact.
With this in mind, let’s learn some other great techniques you can use to give your husband head and completely blow his mind.
2. To Spit Or To Swallow, That Is The Question
When your man starts ejaculating into your mouth, you may be wondering what you should do with his cum. There is no “right thing” to do; it’s all down to your personal preference. If you can’t stand the taste, then feel free to spit it out. But if you don’t mind it, then try swallowing it at least once to see if it’s something you enjoy.
Even if you don’t adore the taste, you may enjoy it as an erotic act. Many guys find it particularly erotic seeing their partner swallow their “seed,” and some guys even find it hot to watch you play with it using your fingers.
Another option is to already have something tasty in your mouth to mask the taste of his semen. I go into detail about this and list things you can use to mask the taste of his sperm in Chapter 3 here.
The main thing to remember is that as you’re the one giving him head, it’s your choice as to what you do with it. You’ll find more tips on swallowing his cum in tips on swallowing his cum in Chapter 9.
Yet another option, if you don’t like the taste of his cum, is to deep throat him as he climaxes. This way, his cum will hit the back of your throat and will avoid your taste buds. Of course, you’ll need to be able to comfortably deep throat him in this case. That’s where the guide on how to deep throat without gagging comes into play 😉
3. Edging – Your Secret Weapon For Giving Better Head
Edging your man is like having a superpower. It prolongs his pleasure and makes his orgasm so much more intense when he finally ejaculates. That’s why this tip on giving head is one you can’t afford to ignore.
Here’s how to edge your man…
1. When you can tell that your man is close to finishing, stop stimulating him, so he does not orgasm. You can do this by taking him out of your mouth and stopping your blow job completely, or if he’s not so sensitive, you can slow down your blow job, so you’re stimulating him less intensely.
Either way, he should not cum!
As you reduce your stimulation, he will realize that he’s not going to cum yet and will feel like you are teasing him slightly. Perfect 🙂
2. After a few minutes of barely stimulating him, start to increase his pleasure and bring him close to orgasm a second time.
3. Stop again, and don’t let him cum yet. Reduce the amount of pleasure you’re giving him, so he misses his orgasm a second time.
4. After a few more minutes of barely stimulating him, start to increase his pleasure again and bring him close to orgasm a third time. This time let him cum.
When he does finally cum, his orgasm will feel a lot more powerful than normal because he got so close twice beforehand. This is the power of edging!
Of course, steps 1-4 are just guidelines; you can edge him 3, 4, 5, or however many times you like before you finally give him head. The key is bringing him close to climax without letting him cum a few times before you finally allow him to explode!
Note: Some readers may think that all edging does is frustrate their man. It doesn’t. It simply teases him, and this teasing leads him to have a stronger orgasm.
Just ask him how it felt after the next time you edge him if you don’t believe me, or try edging on your own when you masturbate. Discover the best masturbation techniques for women.
It works on you too! – Don’t keep edging just for your blow jobs. It also works great when he is eating you out, during sex, or even when you are masturbating alone. Yes, edging can lead to stronger orgasms during masturbation!
You can find our in-depth edging guide here.
4. Finish With Your Hands
Perhaps you are repulsed at the thought of him ejaculating into your mouth. That’s no big deal. A great way to avoid this when giving him head is to finish him off with a hand job. As he reaches orgasm, simply take his penis out of your mouth and use your hands to finish him off. The Hand Job Guide has some great tips for giving him a killer hand job.
But if you don’t have time to read it, then here’s how you should finish him off with a handjob…
As you notice him getting closer to orgasm, take him out of your mouth (click here to learn when your man is close to orgasm) and softly grab his shaft near the head of his penis. Then simply move your hand in a fast up and down motion, moving about one inch up and then one inch down, making sure that some of your fingers are wrapped around his shaft while the others are gently rubbing over the head of his penis.
You can give him extra pleasure by using your free hand to cup and gently massage his balls while giving him a handjob. Alternatively, if he is particularly well endowed, then use two hands on his shaft.
Read More: 9 Testicle Massage Tips + Techniques
As he gets closer and closer to orgasm, start stroking faster and faster until he climaxes. Once he starts cumming, loosen your grip until it’s almost featherlight and slow your stroking right down so that it’s very slow. Loosening your grip and slowing your stroking will give him maximum pleasure and minimum pain.
5. Light Or Heavy
While you can use any of the blow job techniques and tactics in previous chapters as your finishing moves if you want to give him great head, I want you to think about how much pressure you use to finish him off.
Do you go
Light, Slow & Gentle?
Heavy, Fast & Intense?
Light, Slow & Gentle – By this, I mean that you are barely touching your man with your mouth and tongue, you are moving very slowly, and you are gentle with him as you bring him to climax. Doing this is great for prolonging the final moments of your blow job and keeping him in ecstasy for longer.
Heavy, Fast, and Intense – This is the opposite. You will be stimulating as much of him as possible, as fast as possible, and as intensely as possible when you are finishing him off and making him cum. While this will make him orgasm more quickly, it can feel far more animalistic.
Most guys find that both options are enjoyable.
It can be seductive and sensual for him when you slowly, softly & gently tease him to completion.
On the other hand, getting lost in the heat of the moment and desperately trying to make him cum with furious intensity will drive him wild.
Try both options and see what you and your man prefer.
Keep in mind the importance of variation here. If you always get him off with passionate intensity, then try spicing things up and slowing it down a notch from time to time.
6. Pearl Necklaces, Facials & Body Painting
A very sexy and hot alternative to letting your boyfriend finish in your mouth is to have him finish on your body. There are many different ways to do this.
Pearl Necklace – If you are on your knees while giving your man head, then a simple finishing move is to let him ejaculate and cum on your neck, giving you a “pearl necklace.” Learn more about pearl necklaces.
Body Painting – Of course, there are far hotter parts of your body to have your man finish on. These include your breasts, back, and butt. But these aren’t the only places he can finish on. If you happen to have a foot fetish, having him explode all over your feet and toes can be incredibly hot. The same goes if you have a fetish for any other body part.
Facials – Everyone knows about facials as they can be incredibly hot when giving your man head, but…everyone has their preferences. So if you don’t particularly like the idea of your man ejaculating all over your face, DON’T ever feel compelled to take a facial for him.
However, if you are neutral to it or even turned on by the thought of it, then definitely try it out at least once with your man when you finish up giving good head. Thanks to porn, almost all guys are well aware of facials, and many are very turned on by the thought of it. It can be an incredibly submissive and intense experience.
Note: Be aware that his cum can sting and irritate your eyes, so when he is giving you a facial, make sure to close your eyes or grab hold of his penis with your hand so you can control and direct where he ejaculates.
7. Incredibly Intimate Finish
Some believe that oral sex is a hot, but not a particularly intimate act.
The truth is that giving your man head can be insanely intimate if you make it intimate, and for some couples, this might be key to giving good head.
Hold his hands – Holding your man’s hands as you give him head feels somewhat intimate until he is about to cum. Then it feels incredibly close & intimate as he cums. His hands will squeeze yours as you make him blow his load.
Tell him how you feel – When your man is about to cum, take him out of your mouth and finish him off with your hands while telling him how much you love him and how much you enjoy making him cum.
Make eye contact – More on that below…
8. Look Into My Eyes
I’ve already talked about making eye contact with your man during fellatio in Chapter 3 here and why it works so well. Making eye contact with him as he reaches orgasm can be an intensely intimate experience, especially when you consider the fact that men find oral sex more intimate than women do .
There is just something incredibly sensual, connecting, and intense about staring deep into his eyes as he climaxes and starts cumming. You may find it to be slightly submissive being on your knees, looking up at your man while you give him head. Or you may just enjoy the feeling of sexual power as you see him writhe in pleasure while you control him completely using only your mouth.
9. Final Position
Think about what position you will be in when your man explodes in your mouth. Do you want to feel submissive, dominant, experience mutual pleasure, or something else?
I’ve talked briefly about the different blow job positions you can use when giving head in Chapter 2 of the Blow Job Guide, and I go into more detail (with pictures) on each blow job position in Chapter 6.
I’m not going to repeat myself here, so check out my advice there if you want to learn more about what blow job position to use.
10. How To Tell When He Is Close To Orgasm?
One of the things many readers ask even if they know how to give good head is, “How the heck am I supposed to know when my man is going to cum?”
It’s surprisingly straightforward!
If you are giving your man a BJ, but you don’t want him to finish in your mouth, or you want to time it perfectly so that you can give him a facial or have him cum elsewhere on your body, then knowing when he is close to orgasm is vital.
Here’s how to tell he is about to climax:
- Start by listening to his breathing. You’ll notice that as he gets closer and closer to cumming, he’ll start breathing faster and taking shorter breaths.
- Additionally, his body will begin to tense up. So if you have a hand on either his stomach or thigh or even in his hand, you’ll feel it starting to tense up.
- Some guys start to get more vocal as they reach orgasm, but others remain quiet. It depends on your man.
You can probably notice that all these signs from his body are very similar to what your body does as it reaches orgasm.
Then once he begins to orgasm, his cock will start twitching or throbbing as he ejaculates.
Of course, some guys may announce it, which makes it easy for you to tell when he’s about to orgasm.
12. Secret Spice
Everyone has preferences when it comes to sex…
And so does your man.
- He may enjoy finishing on your face, but not enjoy seeing you swallow.
- He may enjoy making you gag during deep throat or not enjoy receiving deep throat from you at all.
- He may like you being submissive when you give him head, or perhaps he gets off the best when you are dominant.
The key is discovering these preferences and then using them to maximize his pleasure when you go down on him.
So you may want to add some ideas from these guides to ensure you are the best that he’s ever had:
- Dominating him. Even more domination tips.
- Stimulating his prostate
- Being submissive for him
- Talking dirty
- Tips to make it kinkier
- Nipple stimulation may be his thing
- Does he have other erogenous zones that drive him wild
Discovering which extra elements he likes is key to giving amazing head.
Here’s an idea, finish by letting him thrust between your breasts (AKA titty fucking) before letting him give you a pearl necklace.
Or you can keep him in your mouth and suck firmly to give him a more intense orgasm and draw his cum out [8 p 37].
13. What To Do If He Has Trouble Finishing
It’s completely normal that some guys don’t orgasm easily during oral sex. It doesn’t mean that you don’t give good head. It’s also very similar to how some women have trouble reaching orgasm when their man is eating their pussy, during regular sex, or even when masturbating alone.
If your man has trouble finishing when you give him head, there are two main things that you can do to ensure he has an easier time finishing in the future.
1. Steady, Strong & Consistent
If he can’t orgasm easily during your blow job, then make sure to provide maximum stimulation to his penis while keeping your “stroke” as steady and consistent as possible. Consistency is key here. Otherwise, he will lose his concentration and find it harder to cum.
2. Get Him To Stop Masturbating
Some men use a strong, vice-like grip when masturbating that doesn’t accurately mimic your mouth or vagina. This is sometimes known as “Death Grip.”
They always masturbate using this super-tight grip, and eventually, their penis adapts, requiring huge amounts of pressure and stimulation in order to climax.
Then when you give him head, your mouth can only provide a fraction of the pressure that he uses when he masturbates. His penis will barely feel it, and he won’t get anywhere close to cumming.
It’s frustrating, but there is a solution…
If you want his penis to return to normal and for him to climax from less pressure, then get him to stop masturbating for a few months while you still have sex and oral sex together (even if he can’t cum from it).
Over time, his penis will adjust and become more sensitive when you give him head, allowing him to more easily cum and appreciate that you give the best head.
Related: My Man Can’t Come Anymore
Some guys have trouble coming from partnered sex because they become conditioned to a certain stimulation style (even if this isn’t due to a death grip issue) . So having him pause masturbating can help with that, too.
14. Communication, Communication, Communication
Something that is often overlooked when giving good head and finishing him off is that you need to talk to him. Assuming that he likes this or hates that or is indifferent to something else is a bad attitude to have. You can learn a lot from the Bad Girls Bible. However your man is the only one who can teach you how to give good head the way he likes it.
Like I said in Chapter 1 of the Blow Job Guide, great communication is vital if you want to have a great sex life. Keeping this in mind, it’s vital that you communicate your own desires to your man. If you don’t particularly like the idea of him cumming in your mouth or on your face or even on your body, then talk to him and let him know how you feel.
Find out how to make talking about sex easier in our ultimate guide to sexual communication.
While I always encourage you to experiment and try new things (as long as it’s safe and legal), if you aren’t comfortable doing something, don’t ever feel compelled to do it.
Equally, if you don’t talk to him, you’ll never discover what blow job techniques he hates and what ones he fantasizes about.
Of course, as he’s close to orgasm, he may not be able to articulate what he wants or even what feels good [10 p 124]. Just keep doing what you’re doing.