How To Have Intensely Passionate Phone Sex + 49 Examples

Phone sex can be pretty awesome. According to a 2019 study by the Kinsey Institute, 31% of people have tried phone sex [1], and we’re willing to bet more people have become reacquainted with this art form since then!

But it can be a bit intimidating to start sex over the phone, which is why we’ve written this guide full of phone sex tips and things to say during phone sex.

Having great phone sex is about painting a vivid and intense picture for your partner (and vice-versa). Once you can successfully do that, your man is going to be putty in your hands.

Whether you’re in a long-distance relationship, or you just want to spice things up, this detailed guide that you’re reading is going to show you exactly how to have intense and passionate phone sex with your man, even if you’re a complete beginner.

If you want to skip straight to the phone sex scripts and scenarios to use on your man, then click here.

This guide will teach you everything you need to know to have great phone sex and do it confidently, but if you want to read the exact phrases and lines to say to your man, you’ll find 73 dirty talking phrases here, 64 more dirty examples here, and a further 91 dirty things to say to a guy here. And because we’re generous, here are 69 additional dirty, sexy questions to ask your man to keep things interesting, and if you want to sext him, then the 43 sexting examples in this guide will help.

Introducing Phone Sex To Your Man

Some people have no problem introducing phone sex to their partners, but that’s not true for everyone. It can be intimidating to talk about phone sex, let alone initiate phone sex.

There are two ways to go about introducing phone sex to your man: talking about it beforehand and bringing it up during a phone call. The former is a better bet if you’re not sure how your man feels about it.

You can get a general feel by asking if he’s ever had phone sex or what he thinks about it.  Perhaps you can start by telling him that you’ve been thinking the idea is hot, but you’ve never had a chance to try it (or haven’t done it in too long).

If your man responds with interest or even curiosity, you might just be able to try out phone sex! These discussions are also great because you can learn when your man would be the most willing to do it. You can also talk about turn-ons and turn-offs. When it comes to phone sex, the wrong word can certainly dampen the mood. Just consider how many people recoil when they hear the word “moist.” This is also why having a sense of humor is important if you want to have good, relaxed phone sex.

Now, we understand that talking about sex is hard, which is why we published this guide to sexual communication!

Whichever of these methods you use, pay attention to how your man responds. If he’s into it, you can forge ahead. If he’s not, he might not be one for phone sex.

However, it could also be that it’s simply a bad time. Your man might not have the time or privacy to engage in phone sex. He might be busy, distracted, or even have a tummy ache! It’s also possible your hints are too subtle.

So if you don’t get the response you like, don’t fret. It might be better to opt for a conversation about phone sex before you try it.

Don’t Forget Consent

Talking about it also means you’re remembering one of the foundations of all sexual activity: consent.

It might sound like overkill, but everyone should consent to sexual activity before it happens. If you spring phone sex on your man, you don’t really give him the chance to consent. He might be down, or it may be awkward and uncomfortable.

On the topic of consent, you might want to reconsider having phone sex where others can hear you. It might be hot to risk getting caught, but doing so involves others in your sexual activities without their consent. The same rules apply.

If you do want to simply go for it, you can try the following:

Remember when? – If you’re already talking on the phone, you can segue into phone sex by bringing up a memory where the two of you were hot and heavy. Chances are, your man will get the message and know where your mind has gone. You might take the time to ask your man about his favorite sexual memory and discover that it’s different from yours!

Here’s another strategy to smoothly bring it up with him that’s pretty foolproof.

I Miss Your Voice – The next time you are talking to your man about intimate things, either in person or over the phone, tell him how much you miss his voice…especially hearing his moans and sighs during sex. Then, while thinking out loud, say something like this,

I wish I could just have a recording of your voice so that I can listen to it when you’re not here. Just hearing you in pleasure would be so hot when I’m trying to pleasure myself.

It’s a pretty reasonable wish or desire to have, and most guys will agree with you. Perhaps he’ll suggest that you record audio of yourselves during sex, or maybe he’ll even suggest recording audio of himself while he masturbates.

This is a great start.

What Would Be Better – Once you start down this path, you then need to guide your man towards the phone. Let him know that hearing his voice is great but that the idea of hearing the same recording over and over might get boring. Ask him what he thinks a better alternative would be than a recording of him.

At this stage, most guys will suggest phone sex, thinking it’s their idea! If not, simply let him know how hot it would be to hear his voice while he is masturbating.

 

Make It Easy For Him – If your man hesitates, just let him know that you don’t even need him to say anything, you just want to hear his voice, his breathing, and his moaning while he masturbates. What man could say “no” to this?

Then from here, you can amp things up and take your phone sex game to the next level using the techniques below…

Setting Up Phone Sex For More Satisfaction

If you rarely get to see your man, then phone sex may become your only way of being intimate with each other. This means that you should do everything possible to make it a special occasion and exciting. Here are a few tips to do just that:

Privacy – Unless you’re an exhibitionist, then the more private a place you can be in for phone sex, the better. It will help you to relax and feel less inhibited, especially if you have just started learning how to have phone sex with your man. So lock your door, close the blinds and turn on a little music if you need to drown out any noise!

Think Practical – You might also want to consider the practical elements of phone sex. For example, you don’t want your phone to die when things are just starting to get steamy. Consider headphones, too. Not only do they prevent anyone else from listening in on your conversation, but they can leave both hands free for fun! Just make sure not to get tangled in any cords.

Finally, make sure your phone isn’t connected to any speakers via Bluetooth. You don’t want your family or roommates listening in on your sexy phone call!

What Makes You Feel Sexy – Before you even get on the phone to your man, you need to take care of yourself so that you feel as sexy and attractive, and comfortable as possible. Everyone has their own preferences for feeling more comfortable and sexy, but here are a few ideas…

  • Take a nice long bath beforehand.
  • Some like to get dolled up (lingerie, makeup, hair, etc.), while others prefer their most comfortable clothes.
  • Have a glass of wine or two to help relax.
  • Light candles/incense.
  • Have a sex toy(s) ready.

Pre-Game Orgasm? – Again, this comes down to personal preferences. If having an orgasm before you even get on the phone helps you relax and get ready to talk to your man, then do it. If not, then save it for your man. These 10 masturbation techniques will help you have powerful orgasms.

Although you might focus on what you need to get horny, don’t forget that your man might need to get into the right headspace, too. Keep this in mind when choosing the time for phone sex.

Step-by-Step Phone Sex Scenarios

The easiest way to have phone sex is to think about the scenarios, NOT the specific lines. If you are trying to remember 23 specific lines to say to your man (which you can get here and here), it will take a lot of thinking and brainpower. This is a recipe for disaster. You’re going to spend so much time trying to remember what to say or do that you’ll completely take yourself out of the moment.

Using scripted dialogue also ignores the fact that phone sex can be a collaborative project. Sometimes you might be masturbating for your man who is mostly quiet (or vice versa), but you’ll often be creating a story or fantasy together, so you need to be flexible and ready to use what your man says. It’s a bit like sexy improv!

But when you are only trying to think of a scenario, everything becomes a lot easier. You’ll find that you have to think less and that you can just go with the flow. Keep this in mind as we go through a few phone sex scenarios you should try with you man. Of course, this doesn’t mean you can’t have a few lines pre-prepared, like one of the 64 dirty phrases you’ll find here.

All About You

The easiest way to have phone sex is to simply describe what you’re doing to get yourself to orgasm (here are 9 clitoral stimulation techniques to push you over the edge). This scenario is pretty straightforward. Start off by describing where you are and what you’re wearing. Here are a few examples:

  • I’m in my room with the lights real low.
  • I’m wearing those silky panties you got me for our anniversary.
  • I’m on top of the covers and have my vibrator beside me. I’m not sure if I should use it yet.
  • I just shaved my legs, and they feel so smooth against the sheets.
  • I’m super sensitive because I shaved my vulva.
  • Do you know that I imagine you when I masturbate?
  • I had this hot dream about you recently. We were…

Then move on to what you’re doing to turn yourself on:

  • I’m caressing my breasts and can feel my nipples getting harder and harder. – Learn how to have nipple orgasms here.
  • I’m slowly moving my fingers down towards my panties.
  • I’m gently tracing my fingers on my thigh, and I can feel myself getting so wet for you.
  • I can even feel how wet I am through my panties.

Before telling him about how you are getting yourself off

  • I’m going to start slow on my clit.
  • I’m sticking my fingers inside to feel how wet I am. Here are 5 super-satisfying ways to finger yourself.
  • It feels so good.
  • I’m watching myself stroke my clit in the mirror.
  • I’m pinching my nipples, which are hard and sensitive.
  • Now I’m turning on the vibrator.
  • I can feel myself getting closer, baby.
  • I’m going to cum for you.

This is just the beginning. You can elaborate massively on these phone sex examples above, especially when you start using some of these 64 extra dirty examples. And don’t forget, if you’re feeling nervous or apprehensive about describing what you’re doing, then you can always just let your man listen to your breathing and moaning as you get yourself off.

All About Him

Another simple phone sex scenario is for your husband to describe how he’s getting himself off. If he’s nervous, he doesn’t need to say anything, and you can simply listen to his breathing and groaning. Once he does it a few times, his confidence will have built up, and he’ll find it easier to start describing what he’s doing.

In Your Head

The next step is describing what is going through your head as you masturbate and touch yourself for your man.

Domination – Phone sex can be just as good for domination as playing in person! The specific format will vary whether there are actual instructions about masturbating, taking pictures, etc. or if you’re just describing what you could/will do to one another. The dominant person can easily take command of the conversation and action, giving commands such as

  • I want you to touch yourself for me.
  • Tell me what you’re doing.
  • Don’t come yet.
  • Come for me now.
  • I’m going to reward you by…

If you haven’t guessed, the phone works well for orgasm control, including edging.

Even if you like to be submissive, you can describe what you’d like your partner to do to you or get their permission.

  • What do you want me to wear?
  • What should I do to myself?
  • Can I come?
  • I’m yours.
  • This pussy is yours.
  • I live to please you.

You can find more tips on being submissive for your man in this guide. Although if you want to dominate him, then you’ll be interested in this domination guide.

Cowgirl – Or maybe you’re on top of him, riding him in the cowgirl position. You can describe how you’re grinding on top of him, bringing him closer and closer to orgasm while you can feel a wave of orgasmic pleasure coming over your body.

Oral Sensation – You can even describe a blow job you’re giving him while he mimics your description with his hands on the other end of the phone. You can talk about how you’re softly running your fingers up and down his cock and balls to tease him. Then you start focusing on the tip of his penis with your tongue, before taking him a little deeper.

As you’re working him up to orgasm, you can then start to describe how you are deep throating him (read the deep throating tutorial here), before allowing him to finish on your body or face. If you want to learn the best oral sex techniques to use on your man when you are together, then you may want to read the Blow Job Guide.

Role play – Phone sex can also work well if you want to roleplay. We’ve listed sexy roleplaying ideas for face-to-face exchanges, and many of them can be adapted to sex on the phone, too! Just think of what people would say in those roles.

Sexy Reading Time – One of you can read an erotic story to the other. You can even alternate who reads and have fun finding sexy stories.

Memories – We already touched on how discussing your sexcapades can be a great way to start phone sex, but these sexual memories also give you ideas of things to say during phone sex. You can get pretty explicit.

  • I remember the time we were fucking when… It was the best sex we ever had.
  • The first time we had sex, I was practically shaking in anticipation.

Your Fantasy – The 3 scenarios above are just examples. Naturally, you will have your own, so make sure to work them in too. Great phone sex is not just about one or two dynamite “lines,” although you can learn plenty from the Bad Girls Bible like these 91 dirty lines to say to you guy. As I said at the start, it’s about being able to paint a vivid picture for your man (and vice-versa), so he can clearly imagine the situation.

Phone sex phrases are often just you describing what you’d like to do as if it were a fantasy (discover the most common sexual fantasies). Remember, if you ever run out of things to say during phone sex, you can just focus on what you’d do to your partner.

  • I’ll sit on your lap and grind against you until you’re hard.
  • I’m going to slowly strip for you.
  • I’ll take your entire cock into my mouth.
  • I’ll let you come in my face/tits.

When using these phone sex lines, make sure to emphasize how attracted you are to him, how much you want him, how good he makes you feel, and how good you can make him feel in return.

If you’re comfortable, you might also add a third “person” to your phone sex chats like in the following phone sex phrases.

  • It would be so hot to see you fuck another woman.
  • I’d love to have a threesome where…
  • How would you react if you saw another guy checking me out? Grabbing my ass?
  • Remember that woman we saw at the mall the other day? She was so hot. I imagined what it would be like to have sex with her.

Not everyone is comfortable with the idea. On the other hand, you might not want to have a threesome in real life but might enjoy the fantasy of it.

Add Visual Stimulation – Phone sex can also work well with other activities. For example, you and your boyfriend might watch porn or a sexy movie in sync while on the phone. Apps such as Discord let you share your screen, making this super easy. You might also want to watch porn or read or listen to erotica to get a few ideas before the call.

Double Your Pleasure With Toys – Obviously, toys are a great addition to phone sex, whether they’re smart or not. Try this: snap a pic or describe your toy options, and have your man choose which one you use! If you use a toy, you can describe exactly what you’re doing with it. Some people also find it hot to talk about their toys, too. For example…

  • This dildo is so big; I don’t know if I can take it.
  • This toy feels so good, but nothing compares to you.
  • I just got a new sex toy, do you want to hear me use it?

Consider other toys, too. You can wear a blindfold or get into some self-bondage.

There are also sex toys that respond to sound and smart toys with apps that connect and respond to media. Try Lelo’s Siri 2 or check out Vibease to get started. Kiroo even makes some toys that connect via the Internet and change sensations based on what the other person is doing!

And if you enjoy the element of surprise, why not have your partner order and send you a sex toy? You get the pleasure of opening the package and using it for the first time during phone sex!

Now that you know how to have phone sex, there are just a few more guidelines to give you before you unleash your sexy voice and imagination on your man…

Personalize It

While this guide has plenty of phone sex ideas, they are fairly general. This is because the best phone sex happens when you add your own fantasies and encourage your real desires. However, if you want to start with some of the basic things to say during phone sex in this post, there’s an easy way to personalize it: add names.

You can moan your man’s name or use it when you give a command. Pet names can help set the tone. Perhaps you’re feeling romantic and call him “my love.” Or you may have some nicknames you only use in the label.

Some people even use some names that might be considered derogatory at other times:

  • You’re my slut
  • You’re a dirty little whore, aren’t you?

Of course, those phone sex lines might not be your style, and that’s perfectly okay. Consider:

  • You’re such a good boy for me.

Add Sound Effects

Because sound is all you have during phone sex, you want to use it to its full potential. One way to do that is to add background noises. Now, you don’t need to become an audio producer, but there are a few things that really add ambiance, including the smack or crack of a paddle… or just spanking yourself. Snapping a rubber band on your wrist can accomplish a similar effect, too.

Consider some sucking noises as you go down on a dildo or holding your vibrator close enough to the phone for your man to hear it. Pop the top of the lube bottle so that your man can hear it.

Psst, if you want to switch things up, why not consider Skype/FaceTie/Zoom sex?

All Good Things Come to An End

Most people assume that phone sex ends when one or both of you has an orgasm. If this happens, you might want to end the call or go back to talking normally. Keep in mind, however, that your man might get tired from sex over the phone just like he does in person so that the call will end.

Plus, it might not be possible to come despite following these phone sex tips. You might be nervous or just run out of time. Occasionally, one of you might need to end the call quickly.

However, there’s no reason why anyone has to come. The moment might just fizzle out, and that’s okay. Or you might reach the end of your story without feeling the need to orgasm. Again, the point is that you enjoy yourself.

 

5 Final Tips For Keeping Phone Sex Red Hot

If you’ve read this far, you’ll have a great grasp of how to have great phone sex with your man. These final four tips are the icing on the cake and will take you from a phone sex diva to a phone sex pro.

1. To Schedule It Or Not – If you and your man are busy, then scheduling phone dates makes perfect sense. This is especially true if you want to take time to get ready and in the mood. However, from time to time, impromptu phone sex can be hot too. My advice is to try both and focus on what works best for both of you.

2. Slow, Seductive & Sultry Voice – In Chapter 2 of the Dirty Talking Guide, I talk at length about how talking dirty is mostly about your voice tone, the speed you talk at, and the context. I discuss how the actual dirty talking phrases you use aren’t nearly as important as HOW you say them.

This is crucial when having phone sex with your man. It’s going to be a million times more effective and sexy when you speak slowly and seductively. Cracking jokes or talking really fast is not a turn on when you are trying to have phone sex with your man. It ruins the mood.

However, you shouldn’t try to use a fake voice because it could be distracting.

Don’t focus so much on the specifics. Assuming you’re doing it right, your sentences may be cut off by moans and groans. And the words aren’t super important when you’re breathless.

3. You’re Not Working In A Call Center – What I mean by this is that you need to be enthusiastic about phone sex. When you get a call from a call center, the voice on the other line is usually boring, uninterested, unenthusiastic, and FAKE. This is because the person calling you doesn’t care, AND they are just reading a script. This kind of attitude DESTROYS phone sex.

You need to focus on making sure you are enthusiastic and genuinely enjoy listening to him. If you are just reading a script, it’s not going to sound genuine AND you are not going to be able to get feedback from your man. A few prepared lines can help (and the Dirty Talking Guide has plenty of examples), but an entire script from start to finish that you prepared earlier is inevitably going to sound fake. It also makes it harder to improvise.

Choosing a scenario is a much better way to approach phone sex. It gives you a rough idea of what to say during phone sex and allows you the flexibility to take it wherever you want it to go.

Try not to focus so much on remembering phone sex phrases. Instead, just go with the flow. That means you or your man might say something like

  • You would like that. You’re so dirty.
  • And while you do X, I’d do Y…

4. It’s Ok To Be Awkward! – When you’re learning how to have good phone sex with your man, you’ll need to get out of your comfort zone and sometimes this can get a bit awkward. Don’t worry; this is just part of the process.

This also means it can be okay to laugh. After all, sometimes someone says or does something funny, even when you’re having sex in person, and you need to be able to poke fun at yourself. The most important thing is not to let it take you out of your headspace and forge ahead anyway.

If you let a little bit of awkwardness prevent you from continuing, then you’re going to miss out on a lot of fun in the long term. So my advice is just to continue. In time, the awkwardness will pass and be replaced by hot, steamy phone sex.

5. Pace Yourself – No matter what you say specifically, it’s typically smart to start slow. You might moan softly, flirt, or act coy at first. You don’t want to get super explicit right off the bat. Building up to that creates sexual tension that makes phone sex even more enjoyable!

Similarly, you might want to start activities slowly. Think of it like foreplay unless, of course, you want to try a quickie over the phone!

However, you don’t have to get super explicit if you don’t want to. Often it’s easier to moan than to speak or say something really dirty. Of course, your man will probably love it if you do!

When It’s Not Working

Finally, we need to talk about what to do when things turn out.. not so sexy. Maybe the direction of the scenario isn’t doing it for you, or your man has used a word or phrase that turns you off. It’s not entirely like being in person. In times like these, you might have to say something such as…

  • I’d enjoy it if we talked about X instead. Would that be okay?
  • Sorry, I don’t love that word. Can you call it Y?

And sometimes phone sex just doesn’t work for you, so you might have to call it a day. In that case, try out any of the following.

  • I’m sorry, but my head just isn’t in the game. Can we try this another time?
  • I hate to say it, but this isn’t working for me today. Can I just help you finish?

You can always try again later or, if you decide sex on the phone isn’t for you, try something else. Some people prefer FaceTime or Skype for their digital sex. You might stick to sexting or even handwrite a sexy letter. Perhaps you watch porn at the same time as your partner but without the audio component. It’s great to try something new, but you never have to do something you don’t want to.

 

The final thing to say about having phone sex with your man is that you are not restricted to only using your phone. Skype, FaceTime, Viber, Zoom Google Meet, and all the other voice calling and VOIP apps out there make for perfect alternatives.

You can also incorporate images. Your voice should be the star of the show, but you can send a few pictures, perhaps as you undress or even something a little more risque to encourage your man. Learn how to take a sexy selfie.

In the age of high-speed video, you can be on camera the whole time. Try FaceTime sex or using whatever app you prefer.

There’s no phone sex technique that you absolutely must try. It’s all about experimentation, finding what you like, and exploring with your partner.


Leave a comment