In the sex world, multiple orgasms are something like a unicorn. Women who can have them experience intense pleasure, but those who haven’t quite learned how to have multiple orgasms are sometimes skeptical that it’s even possible. Fortunately, this may be a skill that you’re able to learn, and we have some tips for you.
What is a multiple orgasm exactly? It depends on the woman. It may mean multiple orgasms in a single session or being able to quickly achieve orgasms. For example, you might consider yourself multi orgasmic if you can have more than one orgasm in a five or ten minute period. These may be called successive orgasms as well .
For some women, having multiple orgasms means having a series of orgasms in quick succession.
It’s often more difficult for a woman to have one orgasm let alone learning how to have multiple orgasms. If you’re only focused on the end game, you can miss out on a lot of pleasure along the way. Furthermore, focusing on achieving one or more orgasms can be the very reason why a woman isn’t able to have one.
Focus on pleasure versus orgasm, so even if you don’t have multiple orgasms, you’ve still had a good time.
Make sure you have enough time for multiple orgasms. This means you’ll also have to change your attitude (changing your attitude is often necessary if you want to improve your sex life). If you expect that a sexual romp ends with your orgasm – or with his – you’ll have to be prepared to spend some time on you after he finishes or focus on your pleasure before the big finale.
In fact, foreplay might be even more important when it comes to having multiple orgasms than with your traditional quickie sex!
This means you might want to hold off on going for multiples with a brand-new partner if you’re not completely comfortable. Women are more likely to have orgasms in committed relationships . If you struggle to orgasm with a new partner, then having more than one won’t be an easy feat.
Being able to communicate about sex can increase your chances of having an orgasm . So, if you’re struggling to orgasm or multiple orgasms, make sure you work on your sexual communication.
You can set the mood with music, candles or incense and lighting that makes you feel comfortable. Then, get your partner get to work on your clit with his tongue or your favorite toy. We’ve got some great advice when it comes to foreplay in this post.
BEFORE YOU ORGASM TWICE, LEARN TO ORGASM ONCE
Some women who want to know how to orgasm more than once haven’t quite achieved a single orgasm. It’s best to start with one and work your way up.
If you want to know the highlights, here they are:
- More women orgasm from clitoral stimulation alone when compared to using only vaginal stimulation ; and many prefer clitoral stimulation it even if they don’t need it.
- Penetrative sex often isn’t enough to give a woman an orgasm [5, 6]. It will be harder the further your clitoris from your vaginal opening .
- Manual and oral stimulation are fantastic for clitoral orgasm as are sex toys.
- Positions such as Thigh Tide or Coital Alignment Technique can help you orgasm during penetration.
- It’s usually easier to master orgasm by yourself, not with a partner. Check out this guide to masturbating for more information.
MASTERING DIFFERENT TYPES OF ORGASMS IS KEY TO HAVING MULTIPLE ORGASMS
Variety is often key when it comes to women achieving multiple orgasms. If you’re like many women, your clitoris might become very sensitive after having an orgasm. This is totally normal, and you may need to back off or tell your partner to give you some space while your body recuperates.
As a woman, however, you may be able to achieve more than one type of orgasm because you have a shorter refractory period — or none at all [12, 13]. This means you might have a vaginal/G-spot orgasm (more about vaginal orgasms here) while your clit is sensitive. A stream of varied orgasms sounds pretty good to us! You should first get used to stimulation that can help build the various types of orgasms, however.
Schoolboys might joke about not being able to find the clitoris, but many women are already familiar with clitoral orgasms, which you can read all about in this post. The fleshy nub above your vaginal opening is home to thousands of nerve endings, which means it readily responds to stimulation from fingers, tongues, and vibrators.
Speaking of vibrators, your trusty toy may be just what you need to experience a multiple orgasm. Some women find it much easier to orgasm when using a toy. It can bring you to orgasm more quickly and reduce strain on your hand and fingers.
There’s another advantage when it comes to multiple orgasms. If you find it harder to orgasm a second or third time, a sex toy can make it easier.
You might even enjoy having your partner rub his penis against your clit! Clitoral orgasms are often described as being more shallow than the other types. You may not feel this type of orgasm as deeply, or it might not last as long, but that doesn’t mean it’s not fun!
Remember, according to Dr. Emily Nagoski,
there is no “right” or “better” kind of orgasm [14 p 271]
If you’re one of the lucky women who can experience G-spot orgasms, you may also be able to squirt, which will add another element of fun when you’re having multiple orgasms! The G-spot is a location on the front wall of the vagina behind your pubic bone that’s particularly sensitive. This is a spot where you can actually access your clitoris internally. The glans of the clitoris that you see is just part of a larger organ that extends inside your body .
Curled fingers or sex toys can often reach this spot even if your partner’s penis misses it during traditional sex.
Your G-spot may respond to vibrations, but the G-spot often needs firm pressure to achieve orgasm. Learn more about G-spot orgasms in this guide.
There’s another sensitive spot inside the vagina, however. The A-spot, sometimes known as the anterior fornix, is located on the front wall of the vagina near the cervix. Unlike the clitoris, the A-spot doesn’t become super sensitive after orgasm, which makes it a great tool when you’re learning how to have multiple orgasms.
Anal orgasms tend to be less common, and they occur with anal stimulation alone. If you’re one of the lucky women who can cum from anal penetration or stimulation – it doesn’t need to include insertion if you’re not comfortable! – then you can add this, so your repertoire to experience a multiple orgasm for the first time. Click here to learn how to improve anal sex.
If you’re on the receiving end of multiple types of stimulation, you might experience a blended orgasm that displays characteristics from multiple types of orgasms. As long as you enjoy your orgasms, don’t fret too much about their origin and classification!
WHAT ELSE CAN YOU DO?
Rest assured that there are a few things you can do if you’re having trouble with multiple orgasms. For starters, improving your pelvic floor muscles, also known as PC muscles, can help you have orgasms more easily and achieve more intense orgasms. To locate your PC muscles, imagine that you’re squeezing those muscles near your bladder to cut off the flow of urine.
The muscles in back should remain still as you do this. These handy little exercises can be done while waiting in line at the store of folding laundry.
These exercises are called Kegels, after the doctor who first developed them for women, especially mothers, who experienced urinary incontinence. You can do Kegels on your own or invest in kegel strengthening devices.
Typically, these take the form of kegel balls like the Luna Beads by Lelo, but you can also clench and release muscles around a dildo or other weighted toy to strengthen your muscles for a count of three. It’s important not just to clench your PC muscles but to release them as well.
It’s easy to fit kegel exercises into your routine, and you and your partner can both notice benefits even if it doesn’t help you achieve multiple orgasm. Your partner can feel you clench your PC muscles during sex when they’re strong, and clenching and relaxing as your orgasm approaches can be far more intense.
Now, we’ve focused on everything you can do to achieve multiple orgasms so this next piece of advice might seem counterintuitive: slow down. Obviously, you may need to wait for your body’s own refractory period, but the process of building up to an orgasm can take a lot out of you, both physically and mentally.
You might just need to give your clit a little break before you return to stimulating it. Use this time to stimulate your man (how about a handjob or blowjob?), kiss passionately, run your hands over each other’s bodies, or simply cuddly closely.
Click here for a reminder of how cuddling rocks for intimacy! Enjoy some ice cream in bed or list everything that turns you on about your partner.
This both helps you to focus on being in the moment rather than your goal of multiple orgasms. Plus, you can build intimacy with your partner, enjoy some downtime and use naughty talk or intimate touches to get back into the swing of things. Your man might even be ready for another go ’round, too, which is perfect for having multiple orgasms!
MEN AND MULTIPLE ORGASMS
Although you’re probably reading this because you asked “Can women have multiple orgasms?”, it’s possible for men to experience this, too! Check out the resources section for some books that can help you and your partner explore multiple orgasms together.
Women who discover they’re able to achieve multiple orgasms can open doors that expand their sexuality, and you should have fun trying. But if multiples aren’t within your grasp, it’s completely okay. Remember that it’s always better to enjoy the journey than the destination. This might be the key to discovering how to have multiple orgasms.
WHAT THE SCIENCE SAYS
You can’t understand what makes a woman multi orgasmic without understanding exactly what an orgasm is. Don’t worry; we’ll make sure this is easy to understand. You can think of orgasm as
the sudden discharge of accumulated sexual tension during the sexual response cycle, resulting in rhythmic muscular contractions in the pelvic region characterized by sexual pleasure .
The built-up tension releases, your muscles contract [17, 18], and you generally feel pleasure when you have an orgasm . Some people regard orgasm as an ecstatic state . You can feel your heart rate increasing .
There are things going on when you orgasm that you can’t directly sense, including the release of hormones such as prolactin  and serotonin , which lifts your mood, improves memory, and can even help you sleep better . It may also contributes to your guy’s refractory period .
All of this activity shows up in brain scans called scans. Researchers use fMRIs to image womens’ brains during orgasm and found that activity increases leading up to and during orgasm in the nucleus accumbens, insula, anterior cingulate cortex, orbitofrontal cortex, operculum, right angular gyrus, paracentral lobule, cerebellum, hippocampus, amygdala, hypothalamus, ventral tegmental area, and dorsal raphe, which are the sensory, motor, reward, frontal cortical, and brainstem regions .
A woman’s ability to have multiple orgasms is due to how her body experiences desire, and research has helped us understand that better.
You’re probably been taught that arousal works like this: excitement, plateau, orgasm, and, finally, resolution. This linear model was proposed by sex researchers Masters and Johnson [29, 30, 31]. As it turns out, it’s pretty much what happens for men. They’re aroused, they orgasm, and they’re done.
Alternative models have been proposed for women, including those that have multiple peaks — orgasms [34, 29, 35]. A woman’s arousal decreases much more slowly after orgasm. When you’re still in a heightened state of arousal, (during which you’ll experience clitoral erection) it can be easier to have a second orgasm.. and perhaps more!
Understanding your arousal cycle isn’t just useful when you want to know how to achieve multiple orgasms; it’s also great for getting yourself horny.
In short, it’s easier to be multi orgasmic because you’re not going back to square one immediately after you orgasm once.