Learning to make him miss you isn’t some esoteric art that only the initiated can master; it’s a concrete set of steps (explained below) that you can take to increase the chances that he’ll be thinking of you when you’re away.
Whether you’ve got a longstanding love affair you’re trying to spice up, have recently undergone a breakup, are trying to keep things going long distance, just got in a fight or haven’t yet convinced the guy to be yours, getting him to miss you is the secret ingredient in your love potion.
While we are more well known for for our powerful tips to have incredible sex, here are several that should help, broken down by situation so you’ll always have a go-to no matter where you and your guy stand.
1. LEAVE ON A HIGH NOTE
Nothing supports a solid, trustworthy, long-term relationship more than leaving on a high note, especially if you’ve recently been through some rough patches. When you and your man part ways on unpleasant or overly serious terms, there’s a greater chance that the time he spends away from you will be full of questions about whether your relationship is right for him.
Don’t give him that opportunity; instead, make him miss you by taking your leave cheerfully, with hugs, kisses, laughter and promises to reunite soon. This is also true when it comes to sex. If you aren’t going to be with your man for an extended period of time, then blowing his mind right before he leaves is the perfect way to keep him missing you and fantasizing about you when you’re not together.
2. TALKING, TEXTING, SEXTING & SNAPS
Thanks to the phone in your pocket, you can easily talk to your man, text him, video chat him and send him some sexy snaps (that delete themselves, thanks Snapchat!). This is the perfect way to keep things spicy and fun with your man, but most importantly it will keep him missing you.
3. BE GOOD IN BED
Ok, I mentioned this already, but it’s obvious, right? Particularly in the case of a long-distance relationship, you’ll need something to get your guy through those long nights without you, so you’d better be at least as good (and hopefully better) than the competition.
If this sounds frightening, relax… the very fact that you know what your guy likes and dislikes gives you a leg up on the possible competition.
4. BE MYSTERIOUS
When you’re trying to woo a guy (whether or not he is aware of your intentions), leaving a little mystery is one of the best ways to ensure that he’s still thinking of you once he leaves. Hold back in little ways, making him work to get smiles or laughs from you and avoid that classic girlish pitfall of oversharing.
If he asks you questions about your past, be coy, but not annoyingly so. Answer his queries, but don’t provide tons of information. A little ambiguity about your story is the best way to make him want to spend more time with you. In fact, a large part of building sexual tension with a guy is being mysterious. It’s the perfect way to keep him thinking about you and missing you.
5. HIGHLIGHT THE FUN PARTS OF YOUR LIFE
We’re not talking having a perfect Instagram profile; that’s not a good way to make him miss you. Don’t spend all your time trying to prove your life is a wonderland, because he’ll smell a rat. Instead, just be positive.
Tell him about the fantastic concert you went to, the new sushi joint you tried, or the rocking night you had with your girlfriends. Fun stories like this, as opposed to moaning about negative issues, prove that you’re a great person to be around whether or not he’s there.
6. SHOW INTEREST IN SOMEONE ELSE
In France a crime of passion can get you off the hook for murder (for real), but in most places jealousy is just a really useful tool for making a dude think about you. So how do you use it to your advantage? It’s best employed when you’re trying to get the attention of an ex-boyfriend or a guy who hasn’t yet committed to you.
Redirect your attentions from the object of your real affection to someone else. Dress well, laugh, flirt, listen, use gentle touches on hands and arms, and generally display your interest in this person for all to see.
Make sure it’s someone you can stand, otherwise your pretense will be pretty obvious. And who knows? You may even find that convincing the current guy to miss you isn’t as fun as actually getting to know this one.
7. HELP HIM SEE WHAT LIFE COULD BE LIKE
You have a slim chance of sticking in a guy’s head if he can’t imagine what life with you would be like. So show him.
If you’re in the early stages of a relationship, or trying to get a friend or new acquaintance to fall in love with you, then give him something to miss. Show him your fun side, your wild streak, your spirit.
Let him in on the things you love, whether it’s your obsession with Pink Floyd or Pinkberry. Invite him to fun activities such as hikes or bowling, and prove that even a cup of coffee with you can be the most fun he’s had in weeks. Then head home, leaving him to stew in your absence and ponder what might be.
8. SHOW HIM WHAT HE’S MISSING
A picture is worth a thousand words, right? Isn’t that how it goes? Okay, maybe not, but it’s still a great strategy for long-distance lovers.
Use SnapChat or Skype or even your phone’s video chat function to keep the spark alive even when you’re thousands of miles apart.
And make sure to paint a good picture, too. Distance tends to make us consider alternatives, because it’s already hard to be away from the one we love, so don’t add incentive. The background of the video should show a clean, orderly space, not one that looks like it’s inhabited by the Yeti. Pay attention to your looks, too … just because you won’t be physically intimate doesn’t mean you shouldn’t put on your best face every time you’re “together.”
9. WAIT A WHILE BEFORE RESPONDING
Even when you and your guy are together in a happy relationship, you can prove your desirability by maintaining a reasonable distance. You don’t have to jump at his suggestions, immediately respond to his stories, laugh at all of his jokes or fire off answers to his texts. The fact that you’re your own person is one of the things he loves about you and that makes him miss you when you’re gone, so don’t sacrifice it in the name of love.
Of course, you must make certain not to be cold either. That’s not a recipe for missing you; it’s just a recipe for sadness.
10. BLOW HIM OFF
When you’ve recently broken up and are planning your strategy for how to make a guy miss you, don’t leave this off the list. Sure, playing hard to get is a poor choice if your guy is good to you and deserves your attention, or if you haven’t yet snagged someone’s heart.
But when a man has treated you unkindly, a little taste of his own medicine is just the ticket. If he calls or texts, quell your immediate desire to get back to him. Instead, turn your phone off, watch a movie, call a girlfriend, get a drink … do whatever you have to in order to kill the urge to respond.
By doing so, you leave him wondering where you are, what you’re doing, and why you aren’t running to him. And what’s he doing while he thinks these thoughts? That’s right: missing you.
Perhaps the most powerful aspect of blowing him off is showing your man that you have standards. And, if he isn’t willing to meet them, then you’ve showed him that you’re willing to walk away.
11. LEAVE HIM WANTING MORE
The best way to get a guy to miss you, whether he just met you or you’ve been together for years, is to leave him wanting more. More kisses, more stories, more laughter, more creativity, more of your mother’s amazing secret meatball recipe, whatever.
Be generous with your time and attention, but not overly so. You need to be slightly hard to get. In reach, but not at his beck and call.
Let him know that next time he can look forward to the same treatment, but that this time the fun is over. While it’s fine to skip a shift at work or cancel other plans once in a while, stick to your own schedule and call it when your time together is done. He’ll respect you and think of you more when you’re not always around, and when you leave while he’s still having fun.
12. ACT LIKE YOU DON’T CARE
If you guessed that this is a tip for the ex-boytoys out there, you’re right.
When a guy thinks you care, he’s way less likely to want to pursue contact, because why would he? Even if he does still want you in his life, he knows that you’ll probably take care of getting in touch for him, so that he can keep the high ground and see you.
Him: 1; You: 0.
Especially when you two ended things abruptly, and there might already be some unfinished business he’s thinking about, don’t give him an easy opportunity to explore it. Stay aloof. Letting him wonder whether or not he should contact you, wrestle with his inner demons, debate the pros and cons and try to get you out of his head is the best way to keep him thinking about you.
13. LOOK AWESOME
Still wondering how to make him miss you? Here’s an easy one: be hot. If you and your guy just broke up and there’s still a chance you might get back together (or perhaps you just want to give him a little taste of what he lost) looking fantastic is the best way to do it.
Work out, wear clothes that fit and show off your sexy assets, and do your hair. Augmenting your natural beauty not only makes you prettier, it also gives you appealing confidence that will turn you even more missable.
14. BE YOUR OWN WOMAN
One of the best ways to make him miss you is to stop depending on him for your happiness. Especially when you’re in a long-distance relationship, where the two of you see each other far less frequently than you’d like, the key to success is to find solace and serenity in your own company.
The knowledge that you’re joyfully pursuing your personal commitments, hobbies, interests and friendships while he’s gone will keep you on his mind more than any other move you could make.
See? Getting a guy to miss you isn’t that hard … it just takes a little work, a little foresight and a lot of love.