How To Make Your Man Hard – 5 Hard On Tips

I’m going to show you exactly how to make your man hard and really horny for you. Doing this will massively increase his desire for you and…make sex a lot more enjoyable for both of you.

The thing is some men can get hard at the sight of a woman, while others need specific things to turn them on and get hard.

If you follow the framework below, you will give your man a strong erection every single time.

Use Your Voice

Is should come as no surprise that one of the surefire ways to make him hard is to talk dirty.  Now, we’ve already got a guide to talking dirty on the Bad Girls Bible, so we’re not going to go super in-depth. Instead, check out a few of the key things to say to make him hard below. Remember, they work well when you speak them, but they’re great for texting, too!

1. Let Him Know How Much He Turns You On

Letting your man know how much he turns you on is one of the fastest ways to give him a boner, erection, stiffy, or whatever you want to call it!


Guys have egos. They want to believe that they can conquer the world, earn tons of money as well as turn on & attract their girl.

By letting him know how much he turns you on, you play to his ego, which is highly attractive to a man. In turn, this will turn him on, make him horny, and invariably give him a hard on.

So how can you let him know that he is turning you on?

It’s pretty simple. The easiest way is to start talking dirty to him. If you’re both not in the same place, then you can try sending some dirty text messages too. As well as talking dirty to him, don’t forget to touch him too in a way that FRIENDS WOULDN’T (i.e., be a little more aggressive).

Touching him in a more than friendly way means things like resting your hand on his arm, rubbing his leg, putting your arm around his shoulder, kissing him, etc.

2. Tell Him You’ve Been Thinking Of Him

This goes pretty hand-in-hand with telling a guy that you want him. But it also says that you want him to badly you just can’t stop thinking about him. Perhaps let it slip that you’ve been distracted at work. And if you’ve already fooled around, tell him how you thought of a specific time you were together

Want to take it one step further? Let him know you’ve been thinking about him while touching yourself. That visual will get him thinking about you and is sure to make your guy hard!

3. Compliment Him

The third and final tip to make him hard using your words is to compliment him. This works well because men often don’t receive compliments on their looks, so that a few kind words can make his day, if not his year!

This can certainly be a PG comment about his smile or his eyes, but it doesn’t have to be. Let him know if his forearms are a turn-on, perhaps by giving them a little squeeze. Compliment his chest, especially if you know he’s been working out. Mention his cute butt if that’s what does it for you.

Don’t forget other compliments. If he has an awesome sense of style, speak up! He’ll love hearing how that shirt compliments his best features. Explain how you appreciate the way he cares for you or how he rocks your world in bed. Don’t go overboard. Simply speak from your heart (or loins!).

Your guy might be a little shy about compliments if he isn’t used to hearing them or has been picked on in the past, so don’t make a big deal if he’s a bit flustered when you flatter him.

4. Get Him Hard Over Text

While you can certainly use the previous ideas over text, certain things work especially well in text.

Add media – Whether it’s a photo, a video, or a recording, you can add something extra that allows your man to see or hear you. You might just find yourself turned on when you’re sending texts to get him hard.

Play a game – There are a few flirty text games you can play with a guy to turn him (and you!) on. Check out our suggested texts to make him hard.

Remember, you can say all sorts of things to make him had, so feel free to get creative!

Actions Speak Louder Than Words

Whether you’re a little shy or want to try something new, you can use your actions if you want to make your guy hard. In fact, the right combination of words and actions might drive him wild!

5. Foreplay, Foreplay, Foreplay…

If you have been talking dirty to your man for a number of hours (or even days if you are sending him dirty text messages), then it’s time to ramp it up a little and start thinking about moving towards foreplay.

Foreplay is surprisingly easy to do right.

But for the time being, think about how you are going to move from kissing him to giving him a handjob/blowjob in a smooth way while getting him rock hard at the same time. Try this 5 step process to do just that:

  1. Start by grazing his leg with your legs and hands as you are talking to him.
  2. After doing for a while, start to rub his inner leg with your hand.
  3. After a minute or 2 of rubbing his inner leg, start to massage his crotch outside his trousers.
  4. At this stage, your man should be starting to get really aroused. It’s now time to put your hand inside his trousers but outside his jocks/briefs then rub & massage his balls and cock.
  5. Finally, put your hands inside his briefs/jocks and start giving him a blowjob or handjob.

6. Handjobs & Blowjobs

At this stage, your man should be super hard. But if he’s not, then simply grab his penis in your hand and start to jerk him off.

If jerking him off doesn’t do it for him, then it’s time to start giving him a blow job. You’ll be surprised at how quickly you can give him a boner by taking his cock into your mouth.

If you’re short on time or really want to surprise him, you can sometimes skip these steps. Most guys will become hard instantly if you walk up, pull down their pants, fall to your knees, and start sucking their cocks! This leads us to our next point.

7. Initiate Sex

Of course, most of the things that make your guy hard are great ways to initiate sex, but some women just don’t initiate. Instead, they try to put out signals that they hope their partners will pick up on [1 p 121]. This can lead to frustration if your man doesn’t clue in on your signals and even a bit of resentment if your guy is always the one who initiates sex. In fact, in one survey about sexual initiation, researchers found not only that was initiation male-dominated most of the time, but that 72.2% of those guys who were usually the initiator desired “a more egalitarian pattern” of initiation [2].

Initiating sex means you get more sex when you want it. You get to feel empowered. Your man feels desired and desirable. And there’s less pressure and potential rejection for him to deal with when you even the playing field a bit.

Related: 9 Ways to Initiate Sex, Drive Him Wild and Take Control Of Your Sex Life

8. Kissing

Have you ever had a steamy kiss that left you a little weak in the knees.. and perhaps wet between your legs? Well, a passionate kiss can do the same for your man!

9. Hugging

Sometimes what makes a guy hard can come as a surprise. Have you ever hugged a guy and realized you could feel his penis? So the next time you want him hard before sex, pull him close and don’t let go.

10. Put On Lingerie

Walking into the room in some sexy lingerie is pretty much guaranteed to get him hard and get you laid! If you’ve already worn lingerie and your man has a favorite piece, bring that out to get his attention.

11. Give A Sneak Peek

Have you ever caught your man gazing at you as you get (un)dressed or take a shower? It can be pretty arousing for both of you. But it’s all too common for people to hide their bodies if they have insecurities or simply rush through activities such as showering if other things demand their time.

So if it’s been a while since your husband could sneak a peak or even if it’s never happened before, why not make it happen? You can change clothes when you know he’s home or leave the door slightly ajar when you shower. Try this: let him “catch” you masturbating!

Just the sight of you may be all your boyfriend needs to get hard without you touching him. It’s up to you if you want to feign surprise when he sees you. Of course, you can always ask if he likes what he sees and perhaps ask him to join you. That will definitely get him hard!

Oh, and don’t be afraid to flip the script by appreciatively watching him change or shower 😉

12. Use Your Elevator Eyes

There’s a slang term when you look someone up and down to take on their full appearance: elevator eyes. The phrase can have a negative meaning if the attention isn’t wanted. But that’s not usually the case if you’re already romantically or sexually involved with someone.

So it’s okay to take in your man’s body when he’s changing, working out, dressed to the nines, working around the house, or doing anything else that turns you on. It might feel a little weird to let your gaze linger, but you’ll get used to it in time.

As you can see, there are plenty of ways to make him erect! This is just the tip of the iceberg. And some guys get it up from things you might not imagine…

We know of a guy whose dick got really hard from seeing his partner cry when she was sad!

So the best way to figure out how to get your man hard may just be to ask him.

13. Keep The Pressure Off

One of the worst things you can do to a guy is put pressure on him to ‘perform’ and get an erection.

If you want to be sure that you get your guy hard, you need to make it a low-pressure situation for him. Here are 2 simple, yet highly effective ways of keeping the pressure off your man:

  • The easiest way of keeping the pressure off is by NOT expecting or caring if he gets a boner or erection. Instead, just make sure that he is having fun and enjoying himself with you.
  • If he is not hard or initially can’t get an erection, don’t make a big deal about it. This means that you shouldn’t talk about it too much or change your body language or act surprised. The truth is, it isn’t a big deal; all men at some stage will have trouble getting an erection. It’s natural.

This fun might come in the form of flirting, cuddling, and kissing for intimacy, or you may fool around and focus on activities that don’t involve his penis. Even masturbating in front of your guy can be a ton of fun.

And if your man isn’t as hard as a rock? That can still be a ton of fun! Although, a cock ring or a penis pump can help if you have trouble keeping him hard.

One question I often get is:

“I can’t make my man hard. What am I doing wrong, Sean?”

My answer:

If he likes being with you and getting sexual with you, THEN YOU ARE DOING NOTHING WRONG.

Stop worrying. Seriously!

Remember, it’s not about you. There are plenty of reasons why a guy can’t get an erection that have nothing at all to do with him finding you attractive, loving you, or wanting to have sex with you, many of which can make it hard for him to come, including:

  • Stress
  • Medication [3, 4 p 160]
  • Illness such as diabetes [5, 6]
  • Certain injuries [7]
  • Tummy troubles
  • Tiredness [8]
  • Body image
  • Anxiety [9]
  • Depression [10]
  • Drugs or alcohol [11]
  • High cholesterol [12]
  • Nervousness
  • Lack of sexual self-confidence [13]
  • Age [14]

And don’t forget about the refractory period, the time after an orgasm when a man cannot become erect again [15]! Sometimes biology takes over, and you just can’t get your guy hard no matter what you do.

Similarly, you might need to adjust your expectations if you expect him to get instantly hard, especially if he’s a little older. 

Although the answer to why you can’t give him an erection may be easy, your guy may not want to open up if he’s having GI issues, which is just another reason to let it be, especially if only happens now and then. If it’s a recurring problem, however, you might want to talk to a professional.

14. Talk To A Doctor

Often guys find it difficult to get a proper erection when they are exhausted or stressed. This is no biggie, especially if it only happens on rare occasions. It’s something that shouldn’t concern either you or your man…

However, a very small percentage of guys, unfortunately, have serious problems ever getting an erection. If this is the case, then he should talk to a doctor. There’s a reason drugs like Viagra, Levitra, and Cialis are worth billions of dollars a year as lots of guys have erectile problems.

Your man’s doctor can also rule out physical issues. A fairly reliable rule of thumb is to check whether your man can get hard at all. If he wakes up with morning wood and has no trouble masturbating, it’s typically not a physical problem.

15. …Or a Therapist

Now, some people balk at the suggestion of talking to a mental health professional, but doing so is likely less uncomfortable than dealing with erection issues or brushing problems within your relationship under the rug.

The type of mental health professional who can help the best varies. Someone who specializes in couples might be best if relationship issues are at the heart of his difficulty to get hard, which can sometimes be the case. But if your guy is struggling with mental health, self-esteem, or other issues that impact your sex life, it might be best for him to go solo.

Regardless, you’ll want to seek out someone capable of talking about sex professionally because this is an issue of a sexual nature.

16. But First, Learn About Desire

Some key findings include that women often need things to be “just right,” may not want sex if they’re not feeling safe or connected to a partner, and may easily have their desire halt. While these things apply to women more frequently, plenty of men experience them, too. Dr. Emily Nagoski writes about how some men experience responsive sexual desire [16 p 3].

What this means is that it may be harder to get your man hard if the setting isn’t just right. Or you may struggle to keep him hard. If your relationship is new, nerves may not be doing him any favors.

It’s absolutely worth learning a bit more about desire. Sometimes people think they have low desire but have yet to learn how to trigger that desire.

And erection concerns are among the factors that have “a significant direct effect on reduced sexual desire.” [17]. He may not even want you to give him an erection if he feels shame or embarrassment about his dick. Talk about a catch-22! This is another reason why you don’t want to make a big deal if he struggles to get it up from time to time. Speaking of time…

17. Get Your Timing Right

If you’re trying to get your man hard and it’s not working, consider the setting. Perhaps you think it’s fun to tease in public or get really turned on at the idea of getting caught. But not everyone is like that. The two of you may need to compromise. Perhaps, instead of trying to turn him on in public, you could troke him in the car, blow him on a rooftop balcony, or get frisky while camping.

Relationships involve a lot of compromises. Fortunately, this is the sort of compromise that can end in a good time for everyone involved!

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