In the age of smartphones and Facebook, it seems like everyone is sexting. But do you know how to sext like a pro or do you stumble with your words? This post will teach you how to sext to make your man go wild, and you’ll also find some great advice for keeping those sultry messages and photos safe!
HOW TO SEXT LIKE A PRO
You don’t have to be the best at sending sexy messages from the start. In fact, your partner might simply appreciate you taking the time to sext, especially if he’s encouraged this sort of behavior at all. And don’t feel like you’re alone if you’re participating in sexting. One study shows that almost 40% of American women have done it!
STEP 1 — START SIMPLE
Your first sexy message doesn’t need to be super explicit, especially if you’re just testing the waters. So you might start out by telling your man how much you enjoyed doing something the last time you were intimate or ask if he remembers something you did a while ago, like having sex in a car, that you haven’t done in a while. These are pretty safe messages with someone you’ve already sexual with.
However, if you want to know how to sext with someone and the two of you haven’t yet crossed into that territory, starting out simple provides you with an escape plan, too. For example, you might tell him you had a dream about him last night. If he takes the bait, he might respond, wondering what sexy things he did. Or if he hasn’t caught on, you can hint to the sexy nature by saying something like “Well, it was kind of naughty..” and see if he’s into the idea.
And even if he didn’t grace your sexy dreams, you can simply use this line as a way to depict something you’d actually like to do or talk about with whoever’s on the other end of the line! Sexting can be a great lead up to actual sex in this way! It may also lead to arousing sex dreams, too.
STEP 2 — FOLLOW HIS LEAD
For many of us, being sexy doesn’t come naturally. We might be a little awkward and stumble over our words, and we definitely don’t want to look foolish when it comes to sexting. That’s why following his lead is great advice about how to sext. For example, he might be more X-rated, send photos or message you while he’s at work, and you can assume that responding in kind will be well received.
Also, pay attention to the type of words he uses and use them. Some people like more clinical terms such as “vagina” or “penis,” but maybe he uses slang like “pussy” more. For some people, “cunt” is a harsh word that not’s sexy, but others find the word arousing. Of course, don’t be afraid to use the words you find arousing. That’s half the fun.
STEP 3 — ALTERNATE SWEET AND SPICY
Learning how to sext is something of an art, and this step is one that people often forget. While you can certainly get explicit with your photos and text messages, you’ll also want to be coy, especially when you’re first starting out. This is where wordplay in the form of innuendos and double entendres will pay off. You can hint at meaning something sexier without actually saying it. And if your prospective sexting partner doesn’t show interest, you can save face by not pressing the issue any further.
For long-term sexting buddies, this method helps to keep them on their toes. You don’t get bored or messages that are always explicit or are always using innuendos. You can discuss how raunchy you want to be, but you can also express your sexual intimacy as an emotional connection if you’re sexting with your boyfriend or husband.
STEP 4 — SEND SEXY PHOTOS
Sexting with pictures is a great way to make your man’s heart pump faster, especially because man are often more visual than woman. And while a completely nude photo may do the trick, you often don’t have to shed all your clothes to send a message that you want him and maybe that you can’t keep your hands off yourself while you think about him. Here are some tips for taking the best photos:
- Pay attention to lighting. A little darkness can add mysterious allure, while most photos generally look better in natural light. Play with lighting to get the right effect and don’t use the flash if it will wash you out.
- Clean up your room or the area around you in a photo. Clutter is definitely not sexy!
- Lock the door so you make sure you have privacy.
- Take a few photos until you get one that looks just right.
- Wear something that makes you feel confident. Don’t forget your hair and makeup, too!
- Hint at what’s underneath by showing a hem, the seam of your stocking or a strap beneath your clothes.
- Show just the curve of your backside, breasts or hip bone to get his thoughts going.
- Think twice before showing your face in those photos, too.
- Choose flattering angles to flatten your tummy, emphasize your gorgeous smile or make your legs look longer.
- Send photos of matching bra and panty sets or your newest lingerie. Start the conversation with “Guess what I bought!”
- Ditch socks when sexting! But high heels or thigh-high boots are always hot!
- Use props such as toys, scarves or pillows to add to the scene. Ask him what he would do with those items.
- Photos sent from a bubble bath can elicit quite the response!
- Send your sexy selfies to your female friends for helpful critiques — if you trust them, that is.
Finally, the sexy photos don’t necessarily have to be your own. Thanks to the Internet, there are plenty of memes you can use to express your current naughty thoughts, or you could even head to Tumblr to find a sexy porn gif to send to your beau to let him know what it is you want to do the next time you see him! What’s a meme?
STEP 5 — DOUBLE CHECK YOUR SPELLING AND RECIPIENT
You’ve probably heard horror stories about sexy messages sent to parents, bosses or even (grown) children. You don’t want to be that person, so make sure your sexts are headed to the right recipient before you hit “Send.” If your man has the same name as another friend or family member, do something to distinguish between the two in your contact list.
And while you’re checking that, take time to glance over spelling and grammar. While someone who is really into you will likely forgive a few mistakes, the wrong spelling can be a real turn off. Consider the infamous mistake, where one woman posted to Twitter about liking the smell of a man’s “colon” rather than his “cologne.” Oops!
Finally, ease up on the chat speak if you want to be sexy. It can be distracting when someone uses “u” instead of “you” or “2” instead of “to” or “too.” Intelligence is sexy, and he’ll appreciate yours.
Beware sending photos. There’s always the risk that the person who receives the picture could send it to others, which is as easy as a click of a mouse in the digital era. So-called “Revenge Porn” sites which show nude photos have popped up as scorned lovers want to get back at their exes by displaying photos that were once private to anyone with an Internet connection and possibly a few dollars.
Thanks to technology, there are also other concerns. For example, if you’re sending a photo that you first took with your camera, then it will be saved on your phone and possibly a cloud account if you’ve set up automatic backup through a service such as iCloud or even Dropbox. This is what happened during a massive iCloud hack in 2014 colloquially known as “The Fappening.” Dozens of celebrities who used iCloud had nude or partially-nude photos leaked on sites such as Reddit and 4Chan.
This is why many people have taken to Snapchat for the purpose of sending naughty pictures back and forth. The photos aren’t saved on the hard drive of your phone, and Snapshat makes it difficult — but not impossible — for you to save those photos. This offers some security, especially because Snapchat deletes photos as soon as they’ve been viewed. However, Snapchat isn’t the only option. Facebook allow you to snap quick photos when using Messenger, and those photos aren’t saved to your phone.
Many messaging apps, including HandCent and Chomp, allow you to place specific threads into a locked section behind a password. You’ll also find third-party apps that protect your image gallery in the same way. These tools are useful if you’re worried about someone, such as a family member or friend, finding dirty pictures on your device. Having a password for your device, whether it’s a phone, tablet or PC, is always the first step to preventing others from spying on you, however.
Additionally, it’s important if you’re sending sexts to strangers. If they have your phone number, they can call you and potentially look up information about you via search engines or social media. If you want to keep your sexting separate from your everyday life, don’t communicate via Facebook or your phone number. Instead use a service like Snapchat, for photos, or KIK, which allows you to send sexts knowing only someone’s username. These steps to protect your privacy are becoming increasingly important.
Finally, it’s important that you never send explicit images if you’re under the age of majority or to someone who is under age. Even forwarding a naked picture of a minor makes you as guilty as the person who took the original photo according to the State of Wisconsin Department of Justice, which is one of the reasons that sexting for teenagers is such a contended issue!
Sexting with your partner is a super hot way to spice up a relationship that is becoming a little bland or to build sexual tension in a budding relationship. It can be hot with strangers, too, but you have to be careful! Remember that anything you send to someone else or transmit over the Internet could potentially be wide open for public viewing, so sexting may not be for you if you can’t deal with the consequences.