If you’re looking for a way to switch things up in a bedroom, look no further than the harness and strap-on dildo section as your nearest sex toy store. These implements provide a way for you to send your lover over the moon as you penetrate him, and you can experience the powerful side of giving during sex, too.
Read on for the best techniques for how to use a strap on.
Using a strap-on to provide anal stimulation to your man is also known as pegging. It may not be the most common sexual activity, but it’s a great way to spice up your sex life.
WHAT’S SO GREAT ABOUT USING A STRAP ON?
When you’re the one penetrating your man, instead of the other way around, it gives you a feeling of power (this may be partly why guys like anal). You get to provide the pleasure. Pegging also works well with power exchange and bondage, because you get to fill the dominant shoes.
Of course, strap on sex is a great way for you to provide prostate stimulation to your man. The prostate is a walnut-sized erogenous zone inside a man’s anus. Even though you don’t have a prostate, you might have enjoyed anal sex, so imagine how good it can feel for him with an additional sweet spot!
Strap-on sex might give him anal orgasms.
Wearing a strap on can even make for a great image. When you look down and see your fake cock bobbing up and down or your partner sees you coming, it can make the room feel electric if you enjoy a bit of kinkiness. And if you want to take a sexy photo or two? A strap on is a great prop to add to the photo shoot and can be sent as a reminder of a good time.
Many straps ons include pockets for bullet vibrators or attachments, so you can experience penetration simultaneously while penetrating your man.
No matter how great the benefits of pegging may be, it’s important to start out slowly. If you rush into things, it may be uncomfortable or even painful, and your man may not want to try again. However, if you use plenty of lube, help him relax and choose the right dildo for the job, you might find that pegging becomes a normal part of your bedroom play.
Lube is important. Saliva isn’t enough because the anus doesn’t self-lubricate. You can still enjoy eating ass though.
For some couples, pegging is a special activity that happens every once in a while. You might only have anal sex on special occasions like birthdays or anniversaries, or you may need a drink to take off the edge first. Pegging might be similar for your partner.
Even if it’s something you only do on special occasions, it can be nice to broaden your horizons.
TYPES OF STRAP ONS
The basic strap on requires two pieces: the dildo and the harness. The harness has a permanent or swappable O-ring, typically made of a stretchy material, that fits around the flared base of your dildo. The stretchy O-ring should be snug around the dildo, so you may need to have a couple O-rings on hand if your dildo collection ranges in size. Some harnesses have permanent O-rings, so you’ll need to purchase a dildo with the correct diameter to fit in the O-ring without it slipping out.
If you want to stimulate your partner’s prostate, then you’ll want to adjust a dildo so that it curves in the right direction depending upon position. For example, if you peg your man from behind, the dildo should curve downward. The same goes if you’re with another woman in doggy style and you want to hit her G Spot.
The Vac-U-Lock system is ideal for using a strap on that’s realistic because many of the compatible cocks are phallic rather than whimsical in design. These Vac-U-Lock systems usually require that you use specialized dildos, however.
There are also “strap-ons” without any straps at all. Shaped like two-sided dildos, that “strapless” strap on toys are inserted into your vagina and curve around your pubic bone, so you can penetrate your partner. If you have especially strong PC muscles, then this might be a good idea. However, you may still be able to use your favorite harness with the strapless dildo, depending on the design, as harnesses offer more stability when fucking your partner with a strap-on.
You may be able to use butt plugs with a strap-on, but this isn’t their intended use.
Similarly, you can use a dildo with a flared based for anal masturbation.
CHOOSING A HARNESS
It’ll be much easier to learn how to use a strap on when you choose a harness that fits your body and tastes. Harnesses are readily available in the following styles:
- Three-strap/jock— the harness is worn around the waist with loops for each leg, like a jock strap.
- Two-strap— the harness is similar to a G-string with one strap that goes between your legs and one strap around your waist.
- Corset— the harness cinches together like a corset at the sides or back to provide a custom fit and aesthetic appeal
- Underwear/lingerie— the harness is worn like underwear (more information below)
Lingerie-style harnesses are made from soft fabrics, which makes them more comfortable for the wearer. These are usually harnesses in the style of boxers, briefs and bikini hipsters.
Traditional harnesses are often made of leather. Nylon harnesses are also common and tend to be more affordable. Many strap on kits, like those from Sportsheets, come with a basic, adjustable harness made of nylon. Plastic and PVC harnesses like those that are made of a clear “jelly” material are available on the market, but you may find them less comfortable or chafing.
Size is important when it comes to your harness. A harness that’s too large will slip down and not allow you to peg your partner, but a harness that’s too tight will cut into your flesh, becoming uncomfortable and unattractive. Most harnesses are measured by hip circumference, and stretchy or adjustable harnesses will fit a larger range. Make sure to check size guides because sizes vary between manufacturers.
Finally, you might need to adjust your harness if you’re pregnant or perhaps avoid strap-on play overall if it’s not comfortable.
USING A STRAP ON WHERE?!
While most strap ons are intended to be worn around your waist, so you feel like you’ve got a sexy, silicone cock, there are some weird but fun harnesses on the market. For example, you can purchase harnesses that you wear on your hand, forehead, thigh and even your ankle! Not everyone will be into these unique harnesses, but it can be hot to have your partner grind against your thigh as you penetrate him!
CHOOSING THE RIGHT DILDO
Obviously, the strap on harness will determine the dildo options available to you. Any dildo with a flared base should work with an O-ring. You’ll have plenty of options from manufacturers such as Fun Factory or Tantus.
Stick with body-safe silicone, stainless steel or glass. Harder materials will feel more intense during use, so you can ease up on thrusting speed or depth to prevent discomfort. Heavier dildos will also have the tendency to hang lower in a harness, so you may have to adjust the tightness of straps as you’re learning how to use a strap on.
Many strap-on attachments vibrate or come with options to add a bullet vibrator if your partner is into that.
HOW TO USE A STRAP ON FOR THE MOST PLEASURE
Once you’ve got your harness and dildo picked out, you might want to dive right in. However, we’ve got a few tips to make using a strap on more pleasurable.
- Pick a compatible lube to ease insertion because the anus doesn’t self-lubricate.
- Make sure your nails are trimmed short and smooth if you plan to do any anal fingering.
- Get your man in the mood with oral sex or PIV sex to help him relax.
- Do not use an anal desensitizer. These creams and oils are a bad idea. Pain is your body’s way of sending you a message that something isn’t right.
- Talk before, during and after. This gives him a chance to let you know if you should ease up or stop altogether.
- Start with a dildo that’s smaller than you think you need and work your way up. Sometimes our eyes can be larger than our backsides.
You may not successfully achieve penetration the first time, and that’s okay.
HOW TO GET HIM INTERESTED
You may be reading this because your man indicated some interest in pegging, but perhaps you think the idea’s pretty hot and you want to bring it up to him. You could simply point him in the direction of this article, compare your sexual bucket lists or ask whether he’s ever experienced prostate play. Talking about the benefits of stimulating his prostate could certainly win him over he’s interested.
Of course, not everyone will be interested in strap on play, and you should be prepared for an outright rejection or your man needing time to get used to the idea.
Strap-on play can bring you and your partner closer together and help to increase intimacy due to the vulnerable nature and communication that’s required. Pegging isn’t for everyone, but if you give it a try, you might be surprised what it does for both you and your partner.