Although some people might try to scare you out of trying anal sex because it’s supposedly “unsafe,” that’s not actually the case. In fact, the answer to “Is anal sex safe?” is definitely a yes – as long as you’re doing right. And you’re far from the first person to have wondered this question!
This is a common question; although, many women are afraid to ask their friends or doctors about the safety of anal sex because they feel that it’s embarrassing. However, it’s important for you to know a few things so you can have safe anal sex that rocks your world!
Typically, people run into trouble with anal sex when they don’t listen to their body’s cues. We’re specifically talking about pain, which lets you know whether you’re doing anal sex safely. If you feel pain, you may need to use more lube, adjust your position and the pace of thrusting or even use a smaller butt plug. Feel free to tell your partner to slow down or stop if it becomes too painful.
Similarly, stop if you notice any blood. While a small amount of blood isn’t concern enough to head to the emergency room, bleeding shouldn’t be common when you have anal sex.
When people ignore their bodies, real problems can occur. This can range from tearing of the sphincter to damaging the colon or having toys become stuck inside you. These are common worries of women who engage in anal sex. Other questions that women ask include:
- Will my man respect me after?
- Will there be any fecal matter (i.e. poop)?
- Does anal affect my normal bowel movements?
- Will I go to the bathroom during anal sex?
Rest assured that most of these concerns are non-issues. You can regularly engage in anal sex without becoming incontinent. It’s also unlikely that you’ll go to the bathroom on your partner’s penis. Many people like anal play and even engage in anal masturbation.
When it comes to any sort of sex, you’ll only want to have it with a partner who respects you. If anal sex feels good for both of you (and you may even have anal orgasms), there’s no room for him to criticize or slut-shame you.
Some couples find that anal sex can be as romantic and intimate as regular sex, especially because you have to take things slowly and communicate well. That’s another reason why BDSM and light bondage can bring you closer together, too.
The other common concerns about anal sex safety can be address with hygiene and preparation.
Hygiene for Safe Anal Sex
Although anal sex can be pleasurable, this doesn’t erase the fact that the main purpose of the anus is to excrete fecal matter. So it makes sense that some people are naturally worried about any messy issues that may arise.
Most people can have safe anal sex as long as they empty their bowels up to a few hours before anal sexual activity. There is a small chance that some fecal matter can come into contact with your toy or partner’s penis. If you want to feel more assured, you can purchase an anal douche and fill it with warm water to rinse out your anus over the toilet before engaging in sex.
You do not need to purchase an expensive enema system if you’re regular; however, some people like the eroticism of enemas. Eating properly, including plenty of fiber, and being hydrated contributes to good anal health. Pass on anal sex if you feel especially constipated or as though you have loose stool.
You can greatly reduce the likelihood of having to deal with poop, but to be perfectly frank, you may not be able to eliminate it entirely. Sex can sometimes be dirty or disgusting, even if it’s pleasurable, and the adult thing is to recognize this fact without making a big deal about it.
The Foundation of Anal Sex Safety
There is a lot of universal advice about anal sex, much of which you may have read in other articles. It bears repeating:
- Use plenty of lube because your anus doesn’t naturally lubricate like the vagina. Lube also washes away if you’re having sex in water. More on that here. Lube prevents tiny tears in your anal canal, which can increase the likelihood of STI transmission.
- Start out with fingers – start with anal fingering – or smaller toys before moving to a larger toy or penis. Don’t let your eyes get bigger than your anus. Fingernails should be short and filed so there are no jagged edges.
- Try anal play after plenty of foreplay and a few orgasms, so your body will be loose.
- Stay away from numbing products so that you can pay close attention to your body’s response.
- Consult your doctor about whether you can have anal during pregnancy. It might be safe to do so!
- Only use toys with flared bases or handles to ensure they can’t become sucked up inside your body. For example, vibrating eggs and small, straight dildos aren’t advised for anal play. However, a straight dildo is okay for strap-on sex. More on that here.
When it comes to safe anal sex, being in the right mindset is a must. You’ll remain tense if you’re not really into it, and you shouldn’t say “Yes” just because your partner wants you to. However, taking it slow and steady promises the highest chance of having anal sex safely. This is especially true for your first time because a negative experience could prevent you from ever enjoying anal sex.
Although you’ll experience some resistance as you penetrate the first ring of sphincter muscles, you can push downward like you would when using the bathroom to ease insertion. Feel free to halt any anal activity if it’s too uncomfortable or if you don’t have the necessary items. It’s always better to be safe than sorry, and you can always try again in the future. This isn’t something you’ll often see in porn. Then again, porn isn’t real life!
Safe Anal Sex and Condoms
Aside from taking the safety precautions discussed above, you’ll also want to consider using condoms (even though you can’t get pregnant from anal). Not only do condoms make it easier to clean up, but they prevent you from spreading STIs such as HIV and HPV, which are actually more easily transmitted through anal sex than vaginal penetration. Consult your doctor if you experience any of them.
Because the anus contains bacteria, using a condom can also prevent spreading them to your partner or toy. If you don’t normally use condoms, this post will help you use them correctly. You can even use them with anal sex toys.
Final Thoughts: Anal Sex Misconceptions
Although you’ll commonly see ass-to-mouth or ass-to-vagina in porn, this isn’t a safe practice because it moves the bacteria that are normally inside the anus to other parts of the body. This can lead to bacterial infections. More on that here. For the same reason, you don’t want to use the same toy that’s been inside your butt in your vagina. Disinfect between swapping orifices.
It is possible to contract oral infections after eating ass (read more about eating ass) but that doesn’t mean you have to forego rim jobs (learn how to give a rim job). Instead, you can just take precautions such as using a dental dam.
Do women like anal sex? – When we surveyed 1,260 women who’ve received anal sex on their attitudes towards it, a majority reported that they enjoy anal sex.
Or that it might save your sex life. That’s not true, either; although, you might find it helps to keep things interesting.
So, is anal sex sex safe? It absolutely can be! Most unsafe anal practices are due to human error. Take your time, prepare and make sure anal sex is something you really want for the most fun – and safe – time!