The sexiest thing you can do with your man is to have sex right? Wait just a second! There’s something so primal and delicious about revealing your masturbation style to your lover, and mutual masturbation can produce intense orgasms.
WHY MUTUAL MASTURBATION
Mutual masturbation solves a number of problems.
- You can be intimate before you’re ready to have sex.
- You can enjoy sexuality when you’re in a long-distance relationship. More advice on that in
- You can be sexual if you can’t have penetrative sex for any specific reason (infection, disability, upcoming Pap smear, risky pregnancy, etc.).
- Prevent the spread of STIs. Note that some STIs spread by skin contact alone.
- You can try something new to make your sex life more fun. It’s not just for teens!
Masturbating together can also be a great way to increase your interest in sex, and it works as excellent foreplay.
Plus, masturbating in front of each other comes with all the benefits of masturbation, including stress relief.
GETTING THE COURAGE TO MASTURBATE IN FRONT OF YOUR MAN
A lot of women have difficulty masturbating in front of their men. Women may take longer to become comfortable with solo exploration than men do, and many think that other women don’t masturbate. But that’s not true. Masturbating is common and healthy for both men and women.
Even so, masturbating in front of your man can actually be kind of intimidating despite the fact that you might already have had sex. You might worry that he’ll judge how you touch yourself, what you look like or even the noises that you make. Rest assured that most people enjoy seeing their significant others in the throes of ecstasy, and mutual masturbation is the perfect exercise. In fact, it might be a fantasy for your man to see you masturbate.
You might also realize that you enjoy being watched (also known as exhibitionism), or that it’s a turn on to watch (known as voyeurism) your man with his hand wrapped around his dick. After all, no one knows how to touch him as well as he does. This could be an opportunity for you to learn about him and pick up a few tricks, and he could do the same for you.
INITIATING MUTUAL MASTURBATION
How do you get down to it?
You can suggest mutual masturbation to your man in a variety of ways. Perhaps you send him a sexy text during the day, or you might simply pause when you’re getting down and dirty to tell him you think it would be hot to watch each other without having sex. One of the perks of mutual masturbation is that you can touch each other; although, you can certainly have fun with no-touching rules. Don’t forget about the “mutual” in mutual masturbation.
Another option is to strip for your man. You lose the clothing; he gains an erection. Sexy music plays in the background, and the lights are down low. But you let him know that he can’t touch you – only himself.
Perhaps your man “walks in on you” while you’re masturbating, and he decides to join.
Mutual masturbation can also start similarly to sex. You might be making out. Perhaps you’re dry humping. You’re aroused and want to do something about it. Eventually, clothing comes off. But it’s not all about sticking Tab A in Slot B. Instead, you’re going to masturbate together.
THE MECHANICS OF MASTURBATING TOGETHER
Once you know what you’re doing, get comfortable. Find a position where you can see – and show off to – your man. Typically, you’re facing each other, and many people enjoy making eye contact during mutual masturbation. You might be standing or lying on the bed.
Some people even like straddling their partner’s body as they masturbate, which gives one of you an up-close-and-personal point of view! Experiment to find what works for the two of you, and don’t be afraid to switch positions during your session.
When you’re in position, you can start touching yourself. Rub your clit, pinch your nipples, slip a finger or two inside. Whatever it is that you like – do it. Your man will be doing the same.
But don’t forget to remain connected. You can watch him stroking himself, but glance up to make eye contact, which will be incredibly intimate in this situation. Touch his face, his cheek, his abs. You know where he likes it.
You can also give each other a hand. Stroke his cock and massage his balls. He can reach between your legs, which is especially nice if you like mutual clitoral and G-spot stimulation. Lean into each other and give one another pleasure.
Kissing is also important during mutual masturbation. If you’re facing each other, you can lay a wet one on him. You don’t need to kiss if you don’t want to, and you don’t need to face each other, either. Perhaps you drape a leg over your man while you’re masturbating.
To be honest, there’s no script for mutual masturbation. Do what feels good – and right. Here are a few ideas, though.
- INCLUDE SEX TOYS
Many women rely on sex toys to masturbate. Perhaps you haven’t added them to regular sex, but mutual masturbation is the perfect time to bring out your favorite vibrator or dildo.
Your man might even like feeling your favorite vibrator if he’s never felt it before.
- TRY IT OVER CAM OR PHONE
Are you separated from your lover? Mutual masturbation to the rescue! Turn on your cam or dial his phone when you’re masturbating, and the two of you can have a great time together. Phone sex or cam sex can be a little awkward at first, but many people love it!
- TALK DIRTY TO EACH OTHER
When you’re masturbating together, it’s the perfect time to talk dirty. You can specifically reference what you’re doing and how good it feels. You can also tell your man to show you how he likes it. If the two of you have a power exchange dynamic, you might even instruct him what to do, which brings us to our next point.
- TAKE CONTROL
Telling your man how you want him to touch himself can be hotter than you ever imagined. Tell him to stroke his shaft, massage his balls or pinch his nipples. You get to watch, and he breaks out of his routine.
It’s fun when you swap roles, too. You never know what he’s going to have you do but you may just learn what he likes to see.
While you’re mutually masturbating, you can share your fantasies with your man. Perhaps talk about a time when you had sex that was especially hot, a sex dream or one of the fantasies you have yet to share with your man.
- ADD PORN
Why not try watching porn together while you masturbate? It can be inspiring if watching your man isn’t enough. You might also emulate what’s on the screen if it takes your fancy.
- ONE AT A TIME
You don’t always have to masturbate together. Perhaps only one of you is in the mood, so you masturbate while the other watches. It might lead into mutual naughty time, or it might not. Either way, it’s okay.
- SIMULTANEOUS ORGASM
Being able to cum at the same time is a worthy goal; although, it’s usually easier said than done. The person who has an easier time achieving orgasm should try to time theirs when they can tell that the other one is close. Pay attention to sounds and muscle tension to see how close your partner is to orgasm.
If you’re able to orgasm multiple times, you can get in a couple of orgasms before your partner finishes and might have an easier time syncing up your orgasms.
But don’t focus on the orgasm too much. One of you may not cum, and that’s completely fine. Focus on the pleasure, instead. It’s about the journey, not the destination.
Don’t worry if mutual masturbation turns into sex, either. Sometimes, we just can’t help ourselves! If there’s no reason why you’re specifically avoiding sex, mutual masturbation can be a great form of foreplay as ut can help you remain intimate with your partner when sex isn’t possible, or you can simply use it to spice things up in the bedroom.