I have been in a relationship with my man for the last year. Everything’s going great, except for one thing. I make every effort to make sure he has a good time during sex. But he doesn’t return the favor. He just keeps using the same few techniques that he always does, that don’t even feel that good for me. What can I do to make him change? I would really appreciate your advice.
Hannah [name changed]
First, it’s great to hear that your relationship is going well in most areas. However, great sex is still a really important part of any relationship, so it’s important to get this part fixed pronto!
I firmly believe that all great relationships are built on great communication. Now, I am not saying that you should confront your man and demand that he ‘learn some moves’. But he needs to know that you have needs in the bedroom too!
One of the easiest ways to encourage him is to be a bit more vocal the next time you are both getting intimate. Let him know what you are enjoying and what’s turning you on.
Do this by saying things like,
That feels really good.
I love how that feels.
Keep doing that.
when he is kissing you, massaging you, rubbing you or fucking you. You can learn more of these encouraging techniques (and more) in the dirty talking tutorial video I created. You can watch it here.
You can also guide his hand or head using your hands.
It’s really that simple. It’s also a lot more subtle than telling him outright.
However if this doesn’t work, then you need to actually talk to him about what you want. The key is not being confrontational about it. Instead you both need to be on the same team.
You’ll find it easiest to do this in bed, after sex. Tell him what you really enjoyed. Ask him what he likes you doing. Then tell him that you’d love it if he could do something you really enjoy for longer.
Most guys, if they really care about you, would love to give you more pleasure and enjoyment.You might find that your man doesn’t realise that you are putting in all the effort and that he is more than willing to do more to pleasure you.
Hope this helps.
P.S. If you are looking to learn more powerful sex techniques, particularly blow job techniques to satisfy your man with, then you may want to check out this blow job tutorial video I put together. Enjoy!