I have a problem. I tried giving my man a blowjob a few times, but each time he stopped me after about a minute or 2 minutes. He said my teeth were hurting him.
Now I am really nervous about giving him a blowjob. I am afraid that if I try again, he will just stop me and that he will like me less. What should I do to give him a good blowjob?
Sarah [name changed]
Thanks for your question. If this is one of your first sexual experiences with someone, it can obviously be a little nerve wrecking for you.
Don’t worry, it’s perfectly natural to feel a little nervous. As you gain more experience, your confidence will improve.
In the blow job tutorial video (you can watch it here) , I talk about how your man’s penis is super sensitive and that you should avoid using your teeth (near the end of the article). However, you may find that if your mouth is quite small or your man has a large girth, you can’t prevent your teeth from accidentally rubbing off his penis and hurting him.
My solution may not sound perfect, but it works incredibly well.
Just wrap your lips around your teeth and pull them back into your mouth, like you would if you were pretending that you had no teeth. Now try giving him a blowjob like this. It may hurt your lips a little, but it will feel great for your man.
But don’t forget, a good blowjob is about more than just taking his penis into your mouth. Don’t forget to build up to that point by kissing, licking and fondling it. Check out these sex tips for girls for some help!
The next part is getting your confidence back up.
There is no simple technique for this unfortunately. It simply takes time and practice. The more time and practice you have, while using the right techniques, the more confidence you’ll get.
You may also find that starting off by giving him a handjob a few times is best, before graduating to giving him a blowjob. You’ll find that this will make it a lot less nerve wrecking for you.
To Better Lovemaking,
I really enjoy your newsletter and your website has been good at teaching me new sex things in the bedroom. But I have a problem:
My man told me a few weeks ago that he fantasies over other women when we are having sex. It’s driving me nuts. What can I do to make him stop?
Firstly, thank you so much for your kind words about the site and newsletter (if others want to get the newsletter, they can sign up at the end of this page).
Now, onto your problem…
It’s actually quite complex and unfortunately there is no easy solution to it. Different people get turned on by different things. Sometimes your man will be the thing that turns you on the most. Other times, it’s someone else or something else.
Many people have fantasies that they never want to happen in real life. A very common one is the rape fantasy. It can be a massive turn on, but it’s not something anybody wants to actually happen without their consent.
The main thing is that you are with a man who loves and respects you. Having fantasies is perfectly normal and harmless, so long as he doesn’t cheat on you to fulfill them.
But, I gather from your question that you don’t want him even having them during sex, right?
First up, telling your man to stop fantasising about other women is pointless.
You can’t control his thoughts!
But if you’d still like him to stop fantasising about other women and instead thinking only about you during sex, then the key is becoming his fantasy.
So maybe his fantasy is:
- Being with a woman who is more submissive or
- Being with a woman who is more dominant or
- Being with a woman who is more/less conservative or
- Being with a girl with loose morals.
Why not ask him & then try out some of his fantasies. A great way to make him see you as his ultimate fantasy is to learn how to talk dirty so that you can build sexual tension and turn him on. If you’d like to learn my best tips, techniques and tactics for talking dirty, then you’ll find them all in this powerful tutorial video I created on the very topic. Enjoy!
This will hopefully encourage him to reciprocate and get him interested in your fantasies!
To Better Lovemaking.
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