Although orgasms for both men and women signal the peak of the sexual experience, whether it’s sex with a partner or alone, many women are still left wondering whether they reached that peak. The old adage about what an orgasm feels like, which is that you’ll know it when you have one, is not always necessarily true, although many times it is! This is why some women experience accidental orgasms.
There are many types of orgasms, some mind-blowing and some a little underwhelming, and there are different ways of achieving one. We’ll explore all of this to help you know whether you’re experiencing all you can and to help you understand what an orgasm feels like.
HOW THE BIG O FEELS
When you are experiencing pleasure during sex and the pleasure keeps intensifying, you are on your way to orgasm. The pleasure keeps building and building, you notice that your breathing is getting heavier, and then you have no more control over your body as the pleasure reaches its peak.
When you orgasm, your body takes over, and you are just along for the ride. You are doing nothing at this point but letting go and feeling pleasure. This pleasure could be intense, or it could be subtle. It could be quick, or it could be drawn out. You sometimes want to buck, writhe your hips and cry out during an orgasm, and other times you feel slow waves of gentle pleasure that leave you feeling at peace.Whatever type of orgasm you have, you’ll know for sure whether you’ve had one if you feel your vagina rhythmically contracting several times after you climax.
Your clitoris is where about 8,000 nerve endings are, and stimulating this sex organ is what brings women to the edge. When you are excited, your clitoris swells, which is the equivalent of a man’s penis becoming hard. You can stimulate the clitoris by rubbing it with a finger or a vibrator, by your partner licking or sucking it or by stimulating it through sexual intercourse by rubbing it against your partner. You can also use your fingers to stimulate the clitoris during intercourse to help you reach orgasm.
Having a purely vaginal orgasm is difficult to achieve, and most women cannot achieve an orgasm without clitoral stimulation as well. But women who do experience vaginal orgasms need their G-spot stimulated.
Find your G-spot by inserting your middle finger into your vagina, palm of your hand facing up, and make a “come here” motion. You should feel some soft tissue and a pleasurable feeling. That’s your G-spot.
If both the clitoris and the G-spot are being stimulated at the same time during intercourse to the point of climax, it feels as if you are having a vaginal orgasm. Women rarely have an orgasm from thrusting and G-spot stimulation alone without combining it with clitoral stimulation, but the vaginal orgasm can feel different from clitoral stimulation only.
After you’ve achieved orgasm, the tendency is typically to languish in the good feelings, and call it a night — you’ve reached the finale. But most women can cum more than once. Don’t leave before the encore! If you are open to further orgasms, you can have them. Immediately after your orgasm, your clitoris is probably too sensitive for more stimulation, so give it a rest for a minute. Engage in caressing, kissing or other activities that feel good. You’ll soon be ready for another orgasm.
A good way to have multiples is to first have a clitoral orgasm and then to get in a position with your partner, such as doggy style or reverse cowgirl, which can stimulate your G-spot.
The goal of a full-body orgasm is not to have only the ordinary orgasm felt in the genitals. It happens when you can move your sexual energy from your genitals through your entire body. This method is part of tantric sex.
You have a full-body orgasm using your mind, not just focusing on your genitals. You would connect your physical, spiritual and mental energies using your mind to have a full-body orgasm that you feel starting from your genitals. You direct this feeling up and down your spine from the top of your head down to the tips of your toes. When you feel yourself beginning to climax, think about directing the energy to your stomach, chest, neck, fingers and up to your head.
Here’s what we were talking about earlier. Female ejaculation occurs when a fluid releases from the vagina during orgasm. Some people think this is urine, but it isn’t (although some women do release some urine during sex). The amount of female ejaculate could be a teaspoon or more. Women who ejaculate generally do so when their G-spot is stimulated.
If you want to try to ejaculate, when you G-spot is being stimulated and you feel an orgasm coming on, push out with your pelvic-floor muscles. Most women naturally do the opposite.
THE PERSON YOU ARE WITH
You need to relax and feel comfortable with the person you’re with to have an orgasm. If you have an unresolved problem or if you are bothered about something, you typically need to resolve whatever’s wrong to have an orgasm with your partner.
Some people have an obsessive fascination with a certain object and cannot become aroused without it. When they do, it’s called a fetish. Some men have a foot fetish, for example, and some women need to be spanked. You might have a dominant-submissive fetish you like to act out (it’s incredibly common and fun!), or you might be an exhibitionist. Although you can have sex without combining your fetish, if you have a fetish, sex and having an orgasm is best and most fulfilling when you combine it with your fetish.
IMPORTANCE OF FOREPLAY
If you will take anything away from learning about what orgasms feel like, remember this: have foreplay. Your orgasm will be better if you have foreplay first.
- But foreplay is not just something he does to you; you both can engage in foreplay together.
- Foreplay can start hours before the main event. You can text your guy that you can’t wait for him to get home. If he responds with a sexy message, you now are thinking about what will occur.
- Lots of touching and caressing your neck, back, thighs and breasts is important before your partner just dives right in. Kissing these places is good too. If you and your partner tell each other what you want to do to each other, you’ll both start to get turned on.
- When you’re turned on from foreplay, your clitoris becomes enlarged, and you’re on the road to having an orgasm.
Although the orgasm experience is different for everybody and can vary depending on the sexual experience, orgasms represent the peak of sexual arousal. During orgasm, you’ll experience strong pleasure of the oh-my-gosh-this-is-so-good-don’t-stop variety with the telltale sign of vaginal contractions.
Now go and have some fun!