Congratulations on your pregnancy. You’re probably experiencing a whirlwind of emotions – happiness, excitement, moodiness and fear, among them – and wondering what to expect during pregnancy and beyond. Of course, how pregnancy will affect your sex life is a common question if sex is one of your priorities, but there’s no single answer.
Many women experienced an increase in sex drive during pregnancy, while others experience the opposite effect. Many women experience fluctuations that can’t quite be anticipated, too.
SOMETIMES SEX DRIVE DROPS DURING PREGNANCY
It’s absolutely understandable if you experience a lowered sex drive during pregnancy. This comes with aches and pains, swelling, and a myriad of physical changes too. Your body is growing to literally make space for a baby inside of you. Suddenly, you may have stretch marks where you never had them before, there’s morning sickness to deal with and then there are the hormones that cause acne, hair growth and mood swings. Even if you want to have sex, you might not feel sexy enough to do so.
Your man can help you through these times by reminding you that he thinks you’re sexy. You might not feel it, but you might have that pregnancy glow, and what your body is doing is quite amazing. So let yourself feel empowered by it. If either of you are worried that sex during pregnancy isn’t safe, it is. Check out this article or talk to your doctor to learn more.
Take time to dress up in sexy lingerie – high-waisted babydolls and flyaway lingerie work especially well as you start to show – and do your hair and makeup. Check out our guide to picking lingerie. Perhaps you can even stop by the local salon for a pampering pregnancy massage, manicure and pedicure to get you in the mood. If you prefer to stay at home, your man can rub you down with silky massage oils to set the mood and even relieve some of the discomfort from pregnancy. More on that in this post.
What might make it more difficult for you is not knowing when your hormones and body will cooperate and when it won’t. Although you might have a difficult beginning of your pregnancy while your sex drive during pregnancy returns to normal after the first trimester, it’s not always easy to pinpoint when you’ll feel good, which is why it’s so important to take advantage of an increase in your sex drive during pregnancy.
Not only does sex drive fluctuate during pregnancy, but it can change between pregnancies. You may have a child or two already at home, but the bun in the oven can affect your body and sex drive during pregnancy like never before. Perhaps your first child came without much morning sickness or discomfort, or the hormones didn’t wreak havoc on your body like they are the second time around. This is totally normal but understandably frustrating.
BUT SOMETIMES SEX DRIVE INCREASES
The good news is that pregnancy can do amazing things for your sex drive. In fact, you might be more aroused than ever! If you’re worried about the negatives, you might not realize that you can experience a heightened sex drive when pregnant, but it does happen!
The reason for this change in libido during pregnancy is due to the same thing that can decrease your sex drive – hormones. You might have strange cravings for pickles and ice cream, or you may start craving your man like never before! There’s no reason to let your increased sex drive go to waste either! Send your partner sexy texts during the day, plan a romantic dinner to take advantage.
According to one doctor, Douglas Black, women are more likely to experience an increased sex drive after the first trimester. Source. Hopefully, any morning sickness you’ve experienced will have passed, too. You may also find sexual activity more pleasurable because of the increased blood flow in your pelvic region.
However, you may still have to account for your growing body, a sensitive cervix and exhaustion that can come with pregnancy. Check out this list of positions to help you find ways to comfortable sate your libido during pregnancy.
DON’T FORGET ABOUT HIS SEX DRIVE
Will your man’s sex drive change if you’re pregnant? That depends. Many partners experience sympathy symptoms, which are symptoms that mirror their pregnant partner’s. This can include moodiness or weight gain, and a changing libido might also come with.
If you’ve suddenly experienced an increase in sex drive during pregnancy because of your hormones, then your husband may find it difficult to keep up, especially if your raging hormones are waking you up in the middle of the night like a teenage boy and your husband has to work in the morning! He’ll probably love your swelling breasts and your increased sex drive at first, and you might find yourself unable to keep your hands off one another in public or even in the car.
But you should remember to stay emotionally connected with your partner so he doesn’t just feel like a sexy object. Cuddling, even without sex, is a perfect way to build intimacy. As your partner is patient with you during your pregnancy, which might feel like quite the roller coaster, he’s sure to appreciate these cute ways to say “I love you”. These practices will also help you to remain connected once the baby comes, which can be difficult when you’re dealing with feedings and changing without time to shower, let alone to have sex.
In the mean time, you can always take care of yourself. See how your body responds to using dildos, vibrators and other sex toys – more here. You might find that you get turned on by things that didn’t do it for you before, so try reading some erotica or watching porn.
Due to hormones and other changes you’ll experience during pregnancy, your sex drive might be nearly unrecognizable from before. Of course, this may mean that it dips, climbs to new highs or switches back and forth. Be prepared for the worst but plan for the best. Sex during your pregnancy might be the best sex of your life!