WHAT IS FISTING? AND HOW TO DO IT RIGHT

Is fisting something that real people do, or is just one of those things we see in porn that is best left to fantasy land? Many people do enjoy fisting, even though it’s something that falls on the kinkier end of the scale. (What does that even mean? Click here). Fisting can hit the spot if you consider yourself a size queen, and there are other benefits, too!

fisting

Many women experience a sense of achievement after successful fisting. It’s hot to know you can take something so large as your partner’s hand. This is something you might have achieved when you had sex with someone who was especially well-endowed in the past! It’s even better when you’re taking something bigger.

Another thing that fisting lovers can’t stop raving about is how it can increase intimacy. When your partner’s entire hand is inside you, after all the time and patience that it requires, it can be incredibly intimate. This isn’t to say that other types of sex aren’t intimate, but fisting can be surprisingly so!

WHAT IS FISTING? FISTING ISN’T PUNCHING!

While fisting isn’t for everyone, it can certainly seem overwhelming to those who don’t understand the difference between fisting and punching. It’s best to start by answering the question “What is fisting?”. Fisting, despite what the name suggests, doesn’t involve inserting an entire fist or even making a fist at all during the process. This is a common mistake people make when first learning how to fist. However, it makes the hand much bulkier and wider, and no amount of lube makes this comfortable for a number of people. As it stands, fisting isn’t going to be everyone’s cup of tea.

So what does the hand look like in fisting? Rather than being an actual fist, it’s a shaped more like a duck, just like in the picture above. Your partner will pull his pinky and index fingers toward the middle finger and fold his thumb up against the bottom of his fingers to create a duck bill shape. The more he’s able to taper his hand, the easier insertion will be.

PREPARE FOR FISTING

Aside from hand shape, the keys to successful fisting are all about preparing. If you’re not fully ready, fisting, like anal sex, isn’t the sort of thing you should try at the spur of the moment. It’s certainly not something to try for the first time when you’re drunk and horny.

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These tips will help you achieve maximum success when it comes to fisting.

  • Fingernails should be trimmed AND filed to avoid any abrasions.
  • Consider a glove, which can make things a little smoother.
  • Lube is a must. Fisting often requires more lube that pretty much any other sexual activity. A thicker gel lube will do you well while some people prefer slicker silicone-based lubes. But many people prefer a creamy, oil-based lube. Coconut oil can serve for this, but remember that oil degrades condoms. Learn more about lube.
  • Prepare for fisting by warming up first. At the very least, you’ll want to have inserted as many fingers as you feel comfortable with. Penetration by a dildo or vibrator or your partner’s penis will help loosen you up so fisting can be a reality. You can start with a smaller sexy toy and then work your way up in size. There are even dilating toys intended specifically to help stretch you out.
  • An orgasm or two will never hurt, either. It kickstarts your PC muscles, which are the very ones that have to accommodate your partner’s hand. This is one time when you don’t want to do Kegels. More on that in this post.
  • Remain relaxed. Try not to focus on whether or not you’re successful at fisting, especially for the first time. Focusing on your breathing can help. Get some tips from this article about Tantric sex.
  • You or your partner should continue with clitoral stimulation, which will help you remain relaxed and increase pleasure.
  • It’s also helpful to know your cycle. Around your period, your cervix is tougher and lower, which means it’s easier to bump in an unpleasant way during fisting or when deep thrusting.

HOW TO FIST: STEP BY STEP INSTRUCTIONS

When you take all these factors into consideration, your fisting session will look something like the following. Your partner lubes up your vagina if it’s needed after your prior activities and his hand up to the wrist. A towel or sex blanket is great for catching any extra lube that might drip! It’s also useful if you’re a squirter.

He’ll insert two fingers and manually massage your vagina to loosen it up. When you’re comfortable, he can insert another finger. He continues to insert fingers as long as it comfortable for you, forming the duck shape with his hand. He’ll complete the shape by folding in his thumb.

The ends of the fingers will be easier to insert because his knuckles will be the widest part and need the most time and lube to insert. Once the knuckles are in, it’s smooth sailing from there.

After he’s successfully inserted, your man can experiment with a few fisting techniques. These include flexing his fingers and thumb, thrusting and rotating. Once his hand is inside you, it doesn’t need to stay in any particular position!

When you’re done, he’ll want to return to the duck position before removing his hand. But don’t do it too quickly because this can be uncomfortable.

ADVANCED FISTING

So you’ve mastered how to fist and want to try something else. What options are there?

  • Fisting sex toys: These sex toys are designed to be larger than dildos and shaped like a hand. The duck position makes insertion easy, even if you have no partner to practice with.
  •  Anal fisting: Take it up a notch with anal fisting. Follow the same general steps as you would with vaginal fisting, but the anus doesn’t self-lubricate, so you might need to use more lube. If you’re into it, why not try the same with your man? Start with a little anal fingering.
  • Self-fisting: Depending upon your body, this might just be impossible. However, some people have long enough arms and enough flexibility to fist themselves.

WARNING

Fisting can be a lot of fun, but that doesn’t mean it comes without risks. This includes the possibility of tearing the vaginal entrance or walls. Even micro tears can lead to infections or make it easier to contract an STI. When it comes to anal fisting, it’s especially easy to transmit an infection!

Secondly, you’ll want to be careful of your cervix. Some women don’t mind if their cervix gets jostled, but it’s uncomfortable for others. Furthermore, it’s more likely that you’ll develop infections such as UTIs with partners who are more well endowed. A larger penis rubs against the urethra more often than a smaller one, and the same might happen with fisting.

Many difficulties with fisting can be overcome as long as you are vocal about what you like and don’t like, and your partner heeds your feedback. If you find it  difficult to talk about sex, you might want to read our guide to sexual communication before trying fisting for the first time. This isn’t the sort of activity you want to do with a one-night stand.

Finally, you want to take as much time as possible. If you don’t get it right the first time, don’t worry! There’s always next time. And if it turns out fisting isn’t for you? At least, you can say you tried!

However, when you have the right partner, know how to fist and prepare for it and take your time, you might find that this is one of those things you can’t live without!


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