You probably think of being a bitch as a bad thing, perhaps using it as an insult toward other women or wincing when someone has described you in such a way. But some men seem to specifically go for this type of woman. The result? It often goes pretty well! Have you ever wondered why men love bitches or whether that’s even a bad thing? We have, and we think we know why!
7 REASONS WHY MEN LOVE BITCHES
Now, the following list might not include every reason why men love bitches. There are many, some positive and some negative. And the man in question may have his own reasons for seeking out a bitch. Or it may be coincidental. But if he seems to like a certain type of woman known as a bitch, here are a few reasons why this could be.
- A BITCH GETS THINGS DONE.
She knows what she wants, and she goes after it even if it may hurt some feelings. Her goals are more important than that. She has no time to waste on relationships that won’t go anywhere. She’s decisive, which saves a lot of time. Plus, she’s not concerned about looking helpless to attract men, which some men find attractive!
- HE’S GOT A PASSIVE PERSONALITY.
This reason why men like bitches isn’t about women at all. If he has a more passive or subservient personality, he might go for someone who others call a “bitch.” After all, opposite do attract. And this is good if you’re more dominant in the bedroom, and he’s more submissive. However, those roles don’t always carry over.
- HIS MOTHER WAS A BITCH.
You know how they say people marry their parents? Sometimes it’s true. If his mom was a little colder, aggressive or just plain bitchier, he might go for the same type of woman. What’s more, he may not even realize he’s doing it. In fact, he may see you as a tough woman and hope you’ll fight some of his battles with his mother for him if he’s not a secure man.
- HE LIKES TO BE CHALLENGED.
Sometimes relationship advice articles tell you to laugh at his jokes and let him take the lead, but not every man likes this. When a woman has her own interests and opinions, she’s more interesting. Plus, she can challenge him and help him expand his worldview. If he likes to be challenged, he might pick someone who is less easy to understand or get along with – but sometimes that pays off because she’s wild and fearless.
- HE LIKES A BAD GIRL.
We’ve all been there before. A guy walks in. Perhaps he drives a motorcycle, smokes or wears a leather jacket. He’s got bad boy appeal that makes him seem so dreamy. You’ve got to have him. On the flip side, he might be immature and selfish, not ready to commit. You’ll spend all your time trying to change him and wondering why you’re not enough, only to have your heart broken in the end. Now flip the “him” to “her.” Men aren’t immune to a bad girl, either, and many bitches naturally are a “bad girl.”
- HE HAS A HISTORY OF ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS.
If a man has never been in a good relationship, he may pick partners who don’t treat him well because he doesn’t know any better. The relationship models are all negative, and he may not know how to break the cycle or even realize that he should! It’s similar to having a bitch for a mom. If his mom was always mean to his dad, he relives the same relationship model until he either grows sick of it or he lucks out and finds someone who isn’t a bitch.
- MEN LIKE THE CHASE.
Some women wish they could be “bitches” so they could get more respect and stand up for themselves. Some women actually do this. Even though the label might be unflattering, there may still be a positive result. For women who refuse to chase after men or bend their principles, being a bitch works can work in your favor. It’s because men like the chase. They like women who don’t seem interested.
Like we said, there’s no particular reason why a man might like a woman who acts “bitchy” or why he gravitates toward bitches in general.
BUT THAT’S NOT ALL
Before you can really understand why men love bitches, you need to consider just what a bitch is. It may refer to someone who is poor-mannered or mean. But some people also use the word simply to mean someone who is competition or someone whom they don’t like. Even still, the word “bitch” may refer to a woman who is strong and powerful as a negative term like “bossy” while we tend to be more positive around authoritative males [1]. It stands to reason that there may be some sexism in the term.
It’s not the only word with such an ambiguous definition and varied usage. Consider the variety of ways people use the word “slut,” which can lead to slut-shaming.
Obviously, there’s no clear definition of the word “bitch.” If you’re looking for evidence that all your partner’s ex-girlfriends are bitches, you’re likely to find it because of confirmation bias. But you might be overlooking other aspects of their personality – or not getting the full story from your man! Furthermore, even an assertive woman can have a gentle side, so you may want to check yourself when you’re angry at your ex for moving on and wondering the reason he loves a bitch, now.
WHAT IF YOU’RE THE BITCH?
If you’re worried that you might be the bitch in this situation, especially if you’re a strong woman and you know his history with other women, you might want to consider a few things.
- Does he like you simply because you fit his type?
- Is he making you stand up for him because he’s spineless?
- Are you treating him as well as he deserves?
- Are there other negatives to you being the “bitch” in the relationship?
You might need to curb some bitchy behaviors if you want a healthy relationship with your man. Or maybe you really do break the pattern, and the two of you are a good match.
BUT I’M A NICE GIRL
If you’ve recently been rejected, you may be hurt and confused. This is especially true if you’re not a “bitchy” type of person. It’s easy to get caught up in a line of thinking about how he should like you or choose you because you’re a “nice” girl. But just because you’re kind doesn’t mean he owes you anything. While being a good person is definitely necessary for a happy relationship, it may not aid attraction and chemistry.
On the other hand, sometimes men respond better when you’re a little more bitchy. This doesn’t mean you should be completely mean, but try not being readily available or fawning over him. As we mentioned before, one of the reasons why men love bitches is because the bitch makes the man chase her. But know yourself and your worth. Be able to make a decision and take care of yourself. Be a nice girl – with a spine just like you want a nice guy who has guts when push comes to shove!
Then, if someone calls you a “bitch,” you can shrug it off because you know what your man sees in you and where your relationship stands.