Problems in a relationship are normal. In fact, relationships may be shallow if you ignore problems or don’t have any problems at all. A strong relationship is all about how you deal with those problems. Maturity and humility will go a long way when you do start dealing with relationship problems.
Here are typical problems couples face and how to deal with them.
If you and your man just aren’t excited about each other anymore and are no longer having fun together, you are probably experiencing boredom. Don’t worry. This relationship problem happens to many people. But if boredom persists, you both might not want to be around each other, even for sex.
There are ways to change this, though. Plan a romantic weekend away. It doesn’t have to be anything lavish. Just getting away is exciting and different. Once there, pull out some new sexy lingerie or a new couple’s sex toy. The point is to do something new to end the boring routine.
- SEXUAL ISSUES
Sexual issues can happen to men and women and can come about for any reason. While there is no set amount of times per week people should have sex, if you or your partner feels as if you aren’t having enough sex, then there is a relationship problem.
If you or your man just don’t desire each other anymore and don’t want to have sex, this is something you should discuss. Sometimes just discussing the problem with your partner and making an effort to have more sex is all it takes. But other times, there is a physical problem or an emotional problem, both of which would benefit from seeking professional help, either from a doctor or a therapist.
If you are in a relationship, stress is bound to set in at some point. The stress could be work-related, because of kids, in-laws, or life in general. If one of you feels stressed out, it’s time to talk about it and to learn some stress management skills. Talking to each other about what is stressing you both out is the first step to solving the problem in your relationship.
Once you’ve identified the relationship problem, you can both work as a team to improve the situation. If you can’t solve the problem on your own, call people in to help you. But above all, stay connected with each other during times of stress.
- AN AFFAIR
If he had an affair, you will naturally have a problem in the relationship. You now need to decide whether you wish to continue with the relationship. You might need to take a break to get your thoughts together.
If you decide to stay, talk with your partner to find out why he had an affair. Don’t let him put the blame on you for this relationship problem. Although there might have been problems in the relationship that you both are responsible for, an affair is never the answer. You should both be willing to acknowledge your roles in the problem so that you can work on fixing it together.
It will take you time to trust again, and he needs to do all he can to regain your trust for the relationship to work.
- POOR (OR NO) COMMUNICATION
If there is poor or no communication in your relationship, the relationship will not be a healthy one. You both might have become so busy with your lives apart from each other that you don’t ever really communicate expect for logistics. Happy couples need to talk about everything, as friends would.
If you don’t talk with your guy, make it a point to sit down with him and really talk. Neither of you can bring your phones when you do. If you need to talk about a relationship problem, set up rules, such as one of you will talk first and the other will listen. If you find that this talk goes nowhere or leads to an argument, you might wish to consult a therapist so you can both learn this skill.
Communicating about sex is also essential to a healthy and happy relationship. Do you already communicate well? You might just have a healthy relationship.
Having financial problems in a relationship is one of the top relationship problems people have, and it often leads to divorce. Being in debt is stressful enough, but if one or both of you are making the problem worse, the financial trouble could hurt your relationship as well.
You both need to sit down and get on the same page regarding spending and saving money. Write down all your debts, and determine where all your money is going. Then make a plan and a budget you can and will both live with.
- CHORES AND CHILDCARE
Everyday life creates relationship problems. When you are just dating, you see each other only when you’re both out to have fun. That’s easy. But when chores and childcare enter the relationship, it’s not all fun and games anymore. Don’t worry. Just because you have responsibilities doesn’t mean they have to be a relationship problem. But if you feel as if you are doing all the work, it’s time to create a schedule.
If you stay home with the kids and he works outside the home, most of the work around the house will naturally fall on you. But you can still ask him for help with things. If you both work outside the home, create a schedule that you both can be happy about. It should be easy to stick with, and you both should be able to pick what you like more and dislike less.
Remember to schedule a sitter every so often. You need to recreate your dates sometimes.
- NOT SPENDING ENOUGH TIME TOGETHER OR BEING CONNECTED
Just because you live together doesn’t mean that you are spending enough time together. Never connecting is a relationship problem and it damages emotional intimacy.
You need to connect and spend quality time enjoying each other’s company. If you can’t do that at home, maybe because of the kids, plan a date night every week or month. Use this time to really talk with one another. The date doesn’t have to be anything elaborate. Just doing something together to connect is what’s important.
Chances are that you won’t be together 24/7 in your relationship. You both will have other lives that are separate from each other. And you both need to trust each other or the relationship will be strained. You can’t think that he’s having an affair every time he goes away for the weekend or is late coming home.
But if you do feel that way, you need to talk this relationship problem through. Maybe he is not acting in a trustworthy way. You both need to be transparent with each other. Acting vague or mysterious will only lead to trust issues. Basically, you both need to be consistent and do what you say you’ll do. Over time, trust will develop.
There are also problems you can’t or shouldn’t fix. With those, you should walk away from the relationship and get help.
Rape occurs when a person is forced to have sex, even if those people are in a relationship. If your man has sex with you when you don’t want to, what he’s doing is rape. There doesn’t even need to be violence involved, although that could be part of what’s happening. Even if he forces or coerces you to have sex and then has sex with you when you don’t want it that is rape.
If a man treats you that way, it means he doesn’t respect you. He doesn’t care about your wants and needs. He cares only for himself. Sex in a relationship should be consensual. It should not be forced, and you should not feel threatened in a relationship. If rape is occurring in your relationship, this is a huge problem in your relationship, and you should probably end the relationship or get help through a woman’s domestic violence center.
Sexual assault can also be detrimental to your relationship if it occured before your relationship.
- EMOTIONAL ABUSE
If you don’t feel good being in the relationship, it could be because you’re being emotionally abused. If your partner uses language for the purpose of degrading you, putting you down, or trying to shatter your self-esteem, he’s being emotionally abusive. He might also threaten you, yell at you, call you names, and blame you for everything wrong in the relationship.
Unless he gets help and completely stops this abuse, you should get out of this relationship. Remember this is his problem. There isn’t anything you can do to appease or please him to make it stop. You deserve better than living with this relationship problem.
- PHYSICAL ABUSE
There is no reason for you to put up with physical abuse. If your partner causes you injury or pain, get out now. You could be seriously hurt or even killed by this problem in the relationship. The abuse won’t get better. Chances are it will only worsen.
Usually, abusers fall into a pattern, and after the abuse, they feel guilty and apologize and are on their best behavior for a while. But that won’t last for long. Soon they’ll be thinking about abusing you again, and they will. If you can’t get out on your own, call your domestic violence hotline.
- REPEAT CHEATING
Repeat cheating is different from your man having a one-night stand that he truly regrets. Repeat cheating is a problem in your relationship that means he doesn’t care at all for your feelings, and he’ll do as he pleases. You deserve a partner who will respect you and will be committed to you. It’s best to leave a repeat cheater; although, you might consider working through it if it only happens once.
Many relationship problems are normal and can be fixed. If you can’t work out the problems on your own, you can seek counseling. But some problems are so severe that you would be better off leaving. You are the best judge as to what’s going on in your relationship.